bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №61786
 23.03.2012
* Friend changes status to ".bat you mouth, Chinese" *
What did the Chinese do again?
D: They, with their unwashed stinking hands somewhere in the basements of the city called Chinyanghui, made my hard disk, on which pictures where I sing a camel with vodka, where we three wash in a bath with Natasha Chihuahua, where I look like a dumbbellor in my embrace, well, and of course where I lay my penis in the mouth of a crocodile statue, so, luck he suddenly stopped working!
D: Throw it in the service center to repair it and decide to see what is so valuable there.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №61785
 23.03.2012
Today in the pool, I accidentally touched the genitals of one grandmother.
She pretended she didn’t notice.
YYY: Now you have to marry her.
XXX: It happened by chance.
Yes, it always happens by chance.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №61784
 23.03.2012
Never look for the perfect girl, look with cockroaches of the same kind as you have.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №61783
 23.03.2012
[16:59:02] Denis: I am thus an educator
[16:59:26] Denis: I hold a spoon in the left knife in the right
[17:00:01] Margarita :^)how is this BODY + KNOW
[17:00:14] Denis: (rofl) as such
[17:00:33] Margarita: the boy has long since invented the fork (chuckle)
So you can’t eat soup with a fork.
[17:01:08] Margarita: A knife why
Margarita: to the soup
Dennis: So that the soup is not taken away

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №61782
 23.03.2012
On April 1, 1915, at the height of World War I, a French aircraft appeared over a German camp and dropped a huge bomb. The soldiers rushed, but the explosion did not wait. Instead of the bomb landed a large ball with the inscription "April 1st!". Troll with a big letter.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №61781
 23.03.2012
Electrical Safety Examination:
If your computer suddenly burns, what will you do?
- Start -> Completion of work...
c) Substance

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №61780
 23.03.2012
Alexis: Generally speaking, I was training with the coach for the first time in that hall. He was in shorts so bright. And on the face I don’t have a special memory... well, the second time I come to the hall, there’s a bunch of cockroaches, that they do there... well, and someone of them greets me, that’s asking...I’m like O_O, and then I looked at it – it’s my coach, only in shorts, not shorts. Well I didn’t think back "oh, I didn’t recognize you in the pants".

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №61779
 23.03.2012
Few people know that ninja turtles wore bandages in front of their eyes so that no one would recognize them.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №61778
 23.03.2012
You need it, hymn odminsky, to come up with.
WOW: Well, it really needs to be sung on the motif of the picnic song:

He has three hands.
Wire over the shoulder of Wu
from his breath.
The light of Iljić =O

I make myself o
In the mirror does not recognize (heavy morning)
Right from the bow
He goes to work...

HHH: writer... you, if anything, write to Sklarski something.

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №61777
 23.03.2012
From discussions in contact:

Any child up to 12 years of age, if his upbringing is not hit by a hook, but elementarly familiarize him with the world around him, at the expense of his non-standard intelligence will be able to come up with 30 applications of the coin in 5 minutes (!) and 10-30 for the next 5 minutes depending on the level of development. One child and one.
There will be games and torture with this coin, a lot of things.
Playing blinkers on the lake, rotating around the table, making a graphite...
That’s a bit of a madness, right? 😉

YYY: If a child at the age of 12 comes to mind at least one way to torture a coin, it is not very such an education probably.)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №61776
 23.03.2012
What if the third devil is a complete disappointment?
This is why the end of the world will come!

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №61775
 23.03.2012
In Russia, the roads look like not the winter has ended, but the war

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №61774
 23.03.2012
Today my mom said I’ve never watched porn... let’s go, let’s see tonight. I choose where the members are smaller.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №61773
 23.03.2012
The 3G modem

Advantages: The speed is good.
Disadvantages: Traffic is eaten even when watching free movies online.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №61772
 23.03.2012
On the tracker LostFilm appeared news: "Fish of my dreams" - a duplicate trailer". Guess what happened in the comments.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №61771
 23.03.2012
Funny is

After the assassination of King Leach himself, who terrorized the world for many years, who lost more lives than anyone in the whole Azeroth, you come to Darion and he says, "Hmm, you killed King Leach? Here are your 33 goals, sps, happy"


[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №61770
 23.03.2012
Q: Is that so serious?? to

Who said I was serious?

HH: I can see it!! to

Through space and walls?

Oh yeah, that kind of thing.

WOW: What am I showing you now?

I mean the language? 😉

WOW: I don't guess.I see you have a very good opinion about me, if you think I showed you my tongue.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №61769
 23.03.2012
Your wife is an extremely secretive and dishonest person, if in her whole life she has never called you a goat.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №61768
 23.03.2012
X: After a disc failure... some folders disappeared entirely. And not with some chlamydia, but with my laboratory studies. Give me one tomorrow.
X: How to recover all lost data?
Y: From the backup, the data is important and apparently stored in many different places.
X: I don’t have a backup. Otherwise I would not have asked.
Y: I had no doubt about that. But I was unable to pass by and not swim.

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №61767
 23.03.2012
and Denver:

Overall we have three seasons:
Fuck it, fuck it!
Fuck, it is cold!
Fucking hot and hot!

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