bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №61906
 26.03.2012
A summit will be held in Vladivostok in six months. For the sake of two days of its conduct, so that there would be anyone to live in the erected Potemkin village, the federals did not let go of selling the buildings of the three main universities located in the center of the city, and forcing the unemployed teachers to pack their suitcases. They did not build housing on the island. The summit will yield billions in 600, with this money a new Vlad could be rebuilt. But so many worthy people took part in the crucifixion that they forgot about the teachings. They will have to drive from autumn to work for 10-20 km on traffic jams and a tall narrow bridge, swirling from the wind. During stormy days, the bridge will be closed so that the machinery does not blow. The ferry on such days also does not go, so there is a real chance to stay on the island.

When this simple thought gradually became the masterpiece of the university staff, another thought flooded in the air – but now we’re going to wander to this island for that salary! And then the presidential initiative was born - let the employees build their own housing there for their own money, and we will sell them land on preferential terms. Recently there was a meeting of the Rectorate, at which the relevant resolution was dealt with. Received: 10 thousand teachers and staff who are now working on the island if they do not run away.

Point 1 - give the land only to teach! Reduced the target audience to 3 thousand with a tail.
Point 2 - only having a 5-year experience! Young people, graduate students, and invited professors from other cities. But the local starters are still on track. For them, the following point is invented, the most mysterious:
Point 3: Do not let those who already own the land! The fact is that any normal predecessor of middle and older age has the property of a land plot. But a few hundred potential candidates for island land may have not yet been reached by these three points. It was invented for them.
Paragraph 4 - the right to buy land has only citizens already in the social row for housing! In order to get into this line, you have to prove your poverty very strongly.

And so on, there are lots of points. In general, when they predicted how many employees are entitled to build housing on the island with the support of this resolution, there were five people. But they just don’t have the money for that...

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №61905
 26.03.2012
Father Fedor has been collecting donations for the chapel for three years, but it has been enough for Audy.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №61904
 26.03.2012
He wrote these three words again!
10 of the letters?
XXX is yes. How did you guess?
You are such a wonderful couple with him! It is so romantic!
xxx : Well, what could be more romantic 'Buy a beer, a?'...

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №61903
 26.03.2012
And in our bathroom, the husband himself laid the tiles (it was a long time ago), so, he had to lay a lion and under it the name LEVA (he is so called), laid out YOLVA - now this is his second home name)))

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №61902
 26.03.2012
From the correspondence with sapport mail.ru:
Oh, I apologize deeply for such unreasonably sharp words to your exceptionally responsive, skilled and incredibly prompt support service (which can’t solve my problem already, apologize from January 8th to March 25th of this year). I won’t be wise and argue that the word shit is definitely decent, literary and in general, but you will soften your just anger, postpone your grievances for later and we will focus on solving my technical problem?
P.S. In no case wanted to offend you with my previous message, exceptionally responsive, qualified and incredibly operational support service, I apologize once again if unintentionally offended you. I am so sorry! Believe me, I didn’t mean anything bad.
P.S to P.S Please note that this message does not contain any native words, hidden hints, religious propaganda, threats, racist statements and is written grammatically correctly and as correctly as possible.

[ + 40 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №61901
 26.03.2012
I went for food today with my wife. While she was picking up, my attention was attracted by the hell witch.
It was a hrenovina called "Eden Hrenoder".
Even the saleswoman was in the car.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №61900
 26.03.2012
On the trailer fresh distribution:

"The King of Scorpios"
"Marshal Zhukov"

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №61899
 26.03.2012
Lasya: I have three pillows at home, and I was looking for the same pillows on them.
Lasya: But you can imagine, even in IKEA, there are no three-washed bedding sets sold.
Lasya: Well the fucking! They are Swedes! They should have understood my problem.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №61898
 26.03.2012
Mother plays an erudite, her companion was caught under the name of Night Vampire. Dialogue in the game chat (author's caps saved):

The Night Vampire: Reus Plus?
Don’t scare me!! to
Don’t be afraid, I only eat virgins.
Maybe the poor is hungry?
The Night Vampire: Well, where do you get them?
Can you go vegetarian?
Night Vampire: Is it a type of rubber chewing?

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №61897
 26.03.2012
I would bring IKEA advertisers to my room and see how they deal with MY mess. I can put three books in the closet, too.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №61896
 26.03.2012
On the Tracker:
111 thank you! Quality is excellent.
222 thank you! The movie fucking.
333 thank you! The first two are both right.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №61895
 26.03.2012
On the weekend, I sit behind the compass, browse the internet. Somehow boring. My father came, busy with homework, and left. Online dating has become an exciting activity!)

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №61894
 26.03.2012
There is so much diversity in the world... and in each there is a specialist.

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №61893
 26.03.2012
This salad died so that you could become a vegetarian. Have a heart? Eat the stones.
Yyy: Can I protect the stones from vegetarians? Stones are good, kind and silent... unlike vegetarians.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №61892
 26.03.2012
OK, then write a handwriting and throw it into the fireplace.
Handwriting does not burn 😉
YYY: Even though mys are not yet drowning...
xxx :D

[ + 51 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №61891
 26.03.2012
111: They gave me white sausages. Ohyena
222: And you can try it. Grodno for example. You dook at all. It consists of 98% meat. The horrible anti-democratic regime is totalitarianly forcing meat to be laid in a bowl and a sausage!

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №61890
 26.03.2012
xxx :DD
xxx: "NTV Television offered Nikolai Baskov to become the advertising face of condoms"
Yyy: I always knew he was Gondon

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №61889
 26.03.2012
The Aztec family.
The status of the son in the aske: "Respect others, kill yourself"
Mother’s status in aske: "I thought it was done!"

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №61888
 26.03.2012
Questions in the forum:
How much does a package of Marlblbrlro cost in Russia?
Judging by transcription - approximately 55 rubles. ruble.ble.ble.le!

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №61887
 26.03.2012
...
-_Shepard_- : A SUMMERKI GGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWVVVVVVNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! to
Smell: It is rare.
Shepard – in any way.
Don’t call it shit with darkness.

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