bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 17 - ] [15 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №148969
 10.02.2018
It is funny, of course, to discuss how women in our world are not forbidden anything.
At the same time, fresh news about the ban in Turkmenistan for women to drive cars, about the fact that it is the same car allowed to drive women in Saudi Arabia in 2018. And in some Russian regions, girls are still taught by circumcision (who scream about male circumcision is better to go to Google immediately and see the difference)
The boys, of course, also have problems... but the chat is also of their gender.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №148968
 10.02.2018
HH: That is something else. I saw yesterday
Sitting on the train, touched
xxx: in the neighboring compartment of the placard grandma and girl 17 years old
After 10 minutes, the grandmother helped the girl with the phone, how to turn the internet on it
HH: Or she was given to use, and she has not mastered yet.
by : 0
xxh: tried both in this sensor, realized that the internet is already on
We just walked into the city.
Here the grandmother gives
XHH: "So where is my favorite YouTube?"
by : 000
I tried again, found
Hera se babky šli
Don’t be in a hurry, guess what’s next.
My grandmother asked where is Insta?
Oh yeah no, no no. The girl took the spikes and began to tie the shirt. Probably a shark.
Q: Are you alive there?
I am afraid to live in this world.

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №148967
 10.02.2018
xxx: I have a problem - your FAQ does not work in the ads!
yyy: The problem isn’t just yours, it might be because TXT files don’t support hyperlinks. In the headline, the font is used with emphasis.

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №148966
 10.02.2018
No, the opposite is all. Those children who are up to thirty or forty years old can't get away from my mom's sweat - with them and after the demand is not great. Helping the elderly independent, responsible people - they are usually not found in the parent's home after 18.

Well, when 18 is completed, the citizen of the Russian Federation immediately appears an apartment and income

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №148965
 10.02.2018
#Mountaineering
1st The Anatomy. The main function is carried by the spinal brain. By them he thinks he is responsible for controlling the body, and, by the way, flight. The brain is responsible for vision, hearing, speech, breathing fire and eating. Therefore, if Gorinych has one or two heads cut off, then he can continue to function properly, and if all - then there is a problem. As an alternative, the headless Hornych simply pretends to be dead. There is a hypothesis that different heads are responsible for expressing different emotions, they develop different mimic wrinkles, and there is the impression that the character of the heads is different. The heads can mimic the conduct of a conversation, misleading a likely opponent.
2nd The business. a) money from the family of the girl who wants to profitably / soon marry. b) money from the hero candidate, looking for his wife, for the slide in the third round with smoke and thunder. The head cut is paid separately.
Three And how does it turn out that the girls retain a presentable appearance until rescue? They should be fed, drunk and allowed to wash. It turns out that Hornych does not work alone. The likely partner is Baba-Yaga. And so that the business goes, so that rescuers continue to wash the kidnapped girls, it makes sense to keep them a little at home, to improve manners, teach them to run the farm and so on. Somewhere, by logic of things, Gorinych contains an entire pension. Was it not related to the foundation?

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №148964
 10.02.2018
xxx: An important thing that is useful to understand about the gender difference. In the case of stress in girls, the first thing is to turn off libido - because there is an increased risk of not carrying off offspring. And in boys, on the contrary, the libido from stress is turned off in the last place - because first pass on your genes, and then reconcile.

That’s why in societies with constantly high levels of stress (Russia 2018 is a typical example) there is such a popular belief that sex is only needed by men. Well, it is in such societies that the gender war flourishes instead of constructive coexistence.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №148963
 10.02.2018
Physics in the Home

To all those on whom society pressures, you live by your head or by your aunt? Why do you pay attention to this? For ten years I have been dropped in the brain: “You have money, buy a car!” and “I am crazy and have no moral problems.” What is not with you, kids?

In the modern world, the pressure of society on the skull should be balanced with the pressure of the brain from within it.

[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №148962
 10.02.2018
Hint: Don’t believe how unfair the world is. I once worked for a large international company, the position was - the third fungus in the second composition. In Russia, not somewhere else. All gifts worth more than $25 were considered bribery and were handed over to special people for donations to charities. Clients are more than a hundred, and all of this crazy bump every New Year went to the children's home...I still remember.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №148961
 10.02.2018
There are such minors who will be looking at you to roast and roast under your door - you will catch him, loose him, he will cry and ask for forgiveness, and as soon as you let go - he runs away and shouts with tears in his eyes that he will do it anyway.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №148960
 10.02.2018
Sir Vaprovod: "Put me, alien, into your alien's country!"

[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №148959
 10.02.2018
The Negro

>> And what, the descendants of the serfs cannot use the word Negro?

What is the meaning of the word "negro"? Why not? Not America, tea, feelings of guilt for the Negroes, we have not and can not be.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №148958
 10.02.2018
Rottenschworz: Artists cannot be offended. Ninety years ago one aquarist was offended, so more than ten years later the whole world had to be buried, with those still massive destruction.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №148957
 10.02.2018
It is not easy to live in Russia, but it is even harder to live well there.

[ + 58 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №148956
 10.02.2018
I unloaded old things and accidentally stumbled upon a yellowed sheet of paper.
It was a bright moment from my childhood... very bright... exploding the consciousness of a six-year-old with the unreality of what is happening...)

In general, I, like every second (statistics department if anything corrected) Soviet boy, wanted one day to have a pet. The choice fell on the puppy. And since I did not find information about the care and content of these interesting birds in our library, I wrote a letter to the editorial office of the magazine "Pionier".. (I wrote it out, the people born in the Union know this magazine) with a request to help with the information. And a couple of weeks later, surprised to the impossibility and proud of me, a lovely woman postman (without throwing her into the box as it is usually done) brings me home, with a flushing letter! From Moscow!! The answer was sent..Not lazy and fully dispatched the necessary information..
I live in Kazakhstan! In a small town near Almaty!!! Do you feel the magnitude of what happened? The worker of the coolest children's magazine in the Soviet Union, gathers the necessary information, sits down and prints the answer to a boy from thirty countries, fulfilling his child's request...this was the time!
I just wanted to share this episode...All good luck and good luck!

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №148955
 10.02.2018
So that the wife did not suffer from the question of what to buy on February 23 as a gift, the sensitive husband specifically broke the cup.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №148954
 10.02.2018
In fact, in Russia, the oligarchs fucked the entire population, but Nastya was also riding a yacht.

[ + 19 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №148953
 10.02.2018
Are you an ancient Russian historian?
and yes.
Can you say something in your language?
Researchers do not have a consensus on this issue.
The class!
Sources on this subject are extremely scarce.
and wow!
It would be too bold to extrapolate our conclusions.
It is incredible!

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №148952
 10.02.2018
The knight was walking through the forest and found on the lawn a beautiful girl crying in three streams.
Why are you crying, sweetheart? He asked.
A dragon has entered our land. Every month he asks for the most beautiful virgin of the kingdom for lunch. And this time it was me. Tomorrow I will be given to the monster to eat.
Don’t cry, I know how to save you. The Knight answered.
- Courageous young man, will you fight the dragon for me?! to
There is a easier way. The Knight answered. Do you say that the dragon wants virgins? I can have sex with you, and then tomorrow they’ll have to find someone else.
She stopped crying and thought.
There are no other options? She questioned with doubt.
You can still break your nose and you won’t be the most beautiful.
Sex is sex. The girl said and began to take off the dress.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №148951
 10.02.2018
The son (7th grade) comes from school and is upset, independent work has not had time to do completely, because computers on computer science hang like the 20th century.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №148950
 10.02.2018
The Poor Fight

>> *PALINDRÓM
>> A word or phrase that is read equally from left to right and right to left.

Okay okay okay.

I knew how to fuck with the label.
I am in the hood and my mouth is in the hood.
I was fucking weak.
Let’s talk about smoking, Komsomol.
Lena struck her husband's roof - her husband oral and a banana eaten.
Don’t hurt Papa Gen.
Delicately rubbing the nipples with his mouth and looking closely, he takes wives.
No eggs - decreased potency
I thought shit, and I thought shit!
You are fashionable and unwashed.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna