bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №53158
 10.09.2011
Eugene: Can you make a dish of a man’s desktop, but what would he not know?
Artem: steal from behind and look through your shoulder.

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №53157
 10.09.2011
She: Deiyiyim, do you have a screwdriver?
He: Yes, what is needed, cross or flat?
It is: ordinary
Is it cross or flat?
It is: ordinary
Fuck, do you have a screw with a cross or a strip?
She: The Cross
Glory to the eggs! Come take

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №53156
 10.09.2011
He: Connect me
and feed him.
He is Kiev.
She: Go to the shelter, there I will feed you and the dog.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №53155
 10.09.2011
Google is
Please provide an answer so that it is understandable to the newcomer.
What is the difference between if else and do while?

>> the same as between constipation and dysentery

[ + 54 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №53154
 10.09.2011
All Stalker’s Celebrations! Today, September 10, 2011, a historic event took place: the mercenary Shram on the Boloths woke up in Lebedev’s house and entered the Clean Sky!

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №53153
 10.09.2011
I am now a drug addict.
GasDon: Why O_O?
Don: My grandmothers didn’t get along the road.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №53152
 10.09.2011
ArkDoom: There are three things that can’t be stopped: a tsunami, diarrhea, and text messages sent to the wrong address.

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №53151
 10.09.2011
Prepod at a lecture seeks an assistant, chooses one student and asks him:
Do you have anything but a member and a keyboard in your hands?
and yes.
You will also be able to switch slides.

[ + 52 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №53150
 10.09.2011
He accidentally poured a glass of red wine at home on the girl, immediately boiled, ran to the bathroom, threw the white shirt into the washing machine and poured everything in vanish for COLORED LINES!
Why not for white?! to
They are so colorful!!! to
I: O_o

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №53149
 10.09.2011
Fascism will not pass!! to
This will never happen in this country. He was, is and will be.

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №53148
 10.09.2011
As I went down the stairs, I heard a conversation between the welder (C) and the master (M).

C: I don’t need this switch here.
M: Why is it not needed?
C: Because you don’t need a nausea!

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №53147
 10.09.2011
xxxx: You accidentally don’t want to beat the tech block on the game I’m going to do in mid-August 2011?
YYY: You know, I’m afraid to upset you, but now it’s September 2011...

[ + 51 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №53146
 10.09.2011
As practice has shown, if you put a cucumbers in a bowl with cherry strawberries, it acquires the taste of watermelon.

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №53145
 10.09.2011
I read today in the news: “6 million people in the southwestern U.S. have been left without electricity due to a mistake by an employee at a power plant in Umeå, Arizona.

First thought: Homer Simpson, as always, in his repertoire.

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №53144
 10.09.2011
XXX: You have done it! The second avas on the carpet. Maybe a jump.
YYY: I’m not shrinking in the background. The most important thing is that we recognize it on the photo, and the rest somehow by the side.
xxx: cuddling... well, it is also the same as pulling out of the sleepy fuck a two-casset, going with him on the street and bodrice and considering yourself cool. murderously
...
X: Was he hurt? Relax, I am not offended. I’m sure you’re in the AVI, you decide.
YYY: No, I was not offended. You just gave me the idea. I’m digging in anthrosols, there’s actually a double cascade somewhere. I just wanted to get rich :)
xxx: :facepalm

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №53143
 10.09.2011
Physicist: Well tell us, Michael, what are the fields?
Hm... the corn?

[ + 43 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №53142
 10.09.2011
I want a chocolate, a huge red cat and fuck!! to

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №53141
 10.09.2011
I stood smoking on the balcony, the kids in the yard playing Harry Potter:
The Abruz Cadabrus! by Pszcz
Ladies and gentlemen, Ladus Kalinus! Grandma
This is a forbidden shit!

[ + 91 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №53140
 10.09.2011
Yesterday I was at the bar. I ordered 9.5 kg of popcorn at the nearest theater. When he was ready, I went with another guy. They guessed the whole popcorn to spit into two huge garbage bags (40 liters). And now imagine the picture: there are two healthy young guys with garbage bags, sometimes they stop and eat out of these bags.

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №53139
 10.09.2011
The only stability I’m sure of is that my cat will come to the kitchen in the morning and demand his share of the sausage.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna