She
You know how to cook?
He is
Eggs and blisters. I had to learn. It was a shame to drive the girls out of their apartment without feeding them.
She
I hope you threw them an egg in the back when you opened the door?
He is
Yes, and at that time I ate blends.

Fino: When reading the advertising phrase "Ufa we buy an apartment" presented a giant monster that eats apartments.

Q: What should the IT Director say when the lights suddenly turn off during a meeting with the bosses in the building?
Fuck the server!! to

Tears of indulgence roll on the cheeks of Kuklachev when he reads this website.

The story happened at the MTS office:

Several managers sit down, working with customers (clients are not so many).
I sat in front of one of the managers, next to another client.

Here, a client sitting next to him (a colorful man, a businessman) calls a cell phone, he throws down and calls back:

Businessman: Hello daughter, hello
...
Why do you need a kangaroo?? to
...
Businessman: And where will you keep it?? to
...
My grandmother, we are going!? to
...
Businessman: And as a grandmother will live alone in Australia!? to
...
Businessman: Let’s talk at home. (I put the phone)

Everyone who heard this conversation, and he spoke loud enough, quietly roasted, slipped off the chairs...

by Habra
Game console of the next generation Xbox

You know why the Xbox 360 console is called that? Because when you see it, you turn 360 degrees and leave.
Yyy: According to this algorithm of trajectory calculation, you are more likely to die of starvation from cycling.

xxx: I gave the gosses I mean, well, somehow the celebration was delayed.)
Before alcohol, I was weak, and so every morning I hanged on the toilet, bleeding yesterday's alcohol, causing BOOORY in general))
And here on the fourth day I go to the toilet, with the same intentions and I hear the neighbors from the floor below (sound insulation is not very, ohh)):
"Someone seems to be pregnant on top" :D

Tomorrow is 8 March. need to clean up. Let us clean up.
YYY : I agree. I need to get out of this dirty apartment.

YYY: And you can even take the Stellar spat off!! 1
Zzzz: Yes, a lot of things can be taken out of order...

XXX is
I want to fly.
jumping from parachute.
YYY
=) is
XXX is
I described
with parachute
YYY
What have you done?
XXX is
The fucking...

Interview with the Chameleon:
The xxx:
I have been patient for a long time, but I can’t do it anymore...I have a few stupid questions for you:...and if you put a chameleon on a mirror, he becomes invisible?...and if you put him on a reflective surface, he will reflect?...and if you close his eyes, he becomes black? ...and if I stick it to the TV screen it will be updated online? Are Chameleons Daltonists?

YYYY :
No, if you put it on the mirror it will not become invisible and will not reflect))) closes the grass when only sleeping and becomes gently green) black will become angry if you persistently tick in it with your fingers ) color will change depending on the mood!

Irina: Here's how you carry 9 months, then you give birth at least 6 hours, then you don't sleep at night, and she sees if she looks like PAPA)
♥Thanks to you: =)
Irene: I am sorry
♥Dimas: Yes No
♥Dimas: It is not offensive :)
Irina: I am upset
♥Dimas: Well and well
Dimas: it is offensive to wash, it is when you love your wife, expect your child, raise him, and he is like a saddle.
Irina: ahahahah ?

When the 9th transport ring will be built in Moscow, the mayor will be Aid

Who would doubt that the first military captured in Libya will be a Dutch special forces accidentally flew there by helicopter. How did they succeed?

Tamias: Here’s when you watch porn on TV, and there the heroine speaks in the voice of Marge Simpson...
Tamias: Ups, burned up
Floyd Malpwood: There is no porn. It is easy erotic!
Floyd Malpwood has burned up.

Tag: back
M: Strange word, I don’t understand its meaning.
Q: Well... did you ever wake up after washing your head and have a standing hair?
This is what "sleep your hair" means.
I'll dry up here so I can't sleep.
A: Because, fucking, this sleepy Huita holds 150 thousand times better than a hairstyle with gels and mousses based on cement.

I guessed for my mother crossword, "Gray matter in the skull box". My mother’s answer: "FARSH". Very nice o_o

M: And all the way out of the club you rubbed the taxi driver, that you will also go in a taxi and stretched to row...
Q: How many times did I say - don't put me on the front seat in a taxi when I'm drunk!!!!!!!! to
M: You were sitting in the back!!!!!!!! to
and fucking (

Has yours arrived?
He walks into the entrance, breathes deeply and says, “Here you smell.
WOW: I was warned.
WOW: for the second week at my entrance I do not feel anything but the smell of urine and garbage

Correspondence of a guy(s) with a girlfriend(s)
I want to sleep and eat and have sex.
Tomorrow I’ll go to a concert with you and you’ll catch a guy there.
I don’t think there will be anyone there who can excite me.
Guy: It’s you now that you’ve so subtly destroyed my whole self-esteem.