bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №100435
 12.07.2014
to this:
Where are you, o wonderful girls, who have not had sex for a year? Where to find you? If you don’t get to know her, then she’s married, then there’s a guy, then she’s a lesbian.

About yourself: a moderate man in full blossom, height 180, blonde, blue eyes, character close to the Nordic, there is a cat.

Write, and better come to visit. I’m going to eat and drink tea :-)

Where are the contacts? 😉

[ + -5 - ] Comment quote №100434
 12.07.2014
Well, I look, adequate people - they are always okay, what with the Councils, what is now. They live quietly and especially do not bite on any foolish occasion, there is no sausage - we eat fish, there are no Bulgarian canned foods - we plant a garden, our own even more delicious... But the inadequates are forever horns mourning in something, then in the sausage, then in the parking lot, then in the television program...

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №100433
 12.07.2014
Phone is covered. My husband bought an old-fashioned Samsung. Today we have a trip to the neighboring city by bus. In the evening before going to bed, I decided to quickly throw music on my phone so that I’t miss the bus. I continued to connect this miracle of technology to the compost until morning. 7 in the morning. I never connected. But the problem is solved: I will sleep in the bus.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №100432
 12.07.2014
Deputy Clisas has not held anything in his hands for many years except the dollar, but then he got a hundred rubles.

[ + 54 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №100431
 12.07.2014
But milk then "White" diluted in gastronomy... somehow so
This is one of the most important things in the world.
You are a fool, right? "Belize" is a water solution of chlorine. I would have gathered you, all this nonsense of the first person, on the square, poured out this whitening and made the sausage of toilet paper eat.

How did you fuck, Chewbacca.

Born in the USSR.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №100430
 12.07.2014
XXX: I will have a moral injury. OOO
Aunt came for fifty years (I work in the SC): "I see that my wallpapers are changing - before they were blue, then they became azure... Strange... Some Diana settled in my mail and doesn’t leave. The second persecutes me – offers me a job, shows my photos. Someone settled in the computer, I see that they are changing my font! I change my windows...I don’t write anything to anyone anymore, I just read...they are watching me. The bank banned me from entering the websites, they put me a lock. The castle, you can imagine? And the dragon comes out and prohibits me from working with the computer, does not allow... The daughter says it is a bird, but I see that it is a dragon! They’re in my computer, they’re watching me, I’m afraid of them...what can they do to me? I am scared..."

I would be scared if my aunt came to me.

xxx: She was still trying to pay me, but I was scared (

zzz: Are you working on a computer exorcist? O_O

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №100429
 12.07.2014
I understood that everyone had their own Soviet majority with empty regiments and poverty, but someone had a sausage and commos.

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №100428
 12.07.2014
In the spring I was invited to the beta of The Elder Scrolls Online. I decided to read the license agreement with interest and came across this:
You agree that you will not give access to this software (including the access key) to any person or entity.
Their lawyers seem to know something we don’t know :D

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №100427
 12.07.2014
On Friday, people leave work early to stay in traffic jams longer.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №100426
 12.07.2014
Dear recruiter from Zadolbali (14746), could you ask at least some of the “stupid” questions at the stage of an interview invitation? If you tell me by phone that you will have to work with, for example, deeply believing people or warrior vegans, I will give up the job myself! And so you are wasting your time and my time, although the issue could be solved in 30 seconds...

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №100425
 12.07.2014
I have a question on yaplakal:
Good night!
I propose to shake my brains, and think about this task, which I have already put before readers of many forums. No knowledge in special sciences will be required.
So there is a simple way to prove that the photo was taken not before a certain date. To do this, the frame includes the newspaper released on the day of the photo.
And now the question. Propose the same simple solution, allowing you to confirm that the photo was taken no later than a certain date.
All complex examinations of the period of existence, say, photo papers - exclude. Everything should be on the picture and accessible with relatively limited ability of the viewer.

One of the proposed methods killed:
>>> To take a photo with a guy. Kill a man. Carry a certificate of death with the date indicated. The photo was taken while the man was alive – not later than the date of his death.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №100424
 12.07.2014
and Irina:
Now I will make you nightmarish again, dear ones! In the attached file, the text of the song "Cap-cap-cap" from k/f "Ivan Vasilyevich changes profession". Learn to know, sing!
by Eugene :
A mistake in the text. The latter is not "bitter", but "sweet".
and Irina:
Eugene, yes, there’s sweet, but that’s not so important)
by Eugene :
Irene, this is very important. I went with bitter, met with sweet. The effect of the absence of the presence of accompanied and encountered during the period of hostilities on the chemical composition of biological fluids flowing from the eyes against the background of the catarsis of negative and positive emotions. You say it doesn’t matter.
and maxime:
Evan, are you smoking? O_O
by Eugene :
Maxim, e-cigarette eGo-C, fluid with flavor "cheese" strength 11 units. ;) and that doesn’t matter.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №100423
 12.07.2014
xxx: And about the Polish officers, who were still crushed by the NKVD. Whether it is a matter is another question. Interestingly, it is precisely the fact that for almost 100 years all the brains were flipped about the Germans.
YYY: The NKVD officers have also crucified Christ. It’s curious that for almost 2,000 years, everyone’s brains were spinning about some Romans.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №100422
 12.07.2014
In one Minsk pizzeria there is pizza with potatoes, it is so in Belarusian! Next level: Pizza in the pot

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №100421
 12.07.2014
How to travel to you? Yes is simple. Entered the city, on the left will be MAGNIT, from it two quarters, then turn to the left, near MAGNIT. There straight to the lighthouse, and to the right turn for MAGNIT, then another quarter, there you will see a five-storey, I live there, and on the first floor MAGNIT. It is good!! Do you have any other guidelines in the city besides MAGNIT? Of course there is! If you enter the city, the right will be 5........................

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №100420
 12.07.2014
Fuck, I won’t go out on the street in this dress anymore.
YU :?
A: Yes, it can be worse than when old men look after you.
Even when they don’t care.)

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №100419
 12.07.2014
Questions and Answers:
What is the Kyocera TK-18 toner?
Anywhere, even in the tea.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №100418
 12.07.2014
DerArto: Nutritionists do not recommend posting photos on Instagram after six.

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №100417
 12.07.2014
To fill the void within yourself, drinking is useless.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №100416
 12.07.2014
Not my, taken from the internet, but taken for the soul.

Today in the store paid attention to my grandmother - for a long time chose canned food cheaper. I noticed that at plus 2 degrees she was in rubber boots... I approached, stood up next to him, helped to deal with the prices, then led through the store, threw everything in the eye into the basket)
They bought her a full basket of foods, and she said, “Oh, don’t, they don’t let me go, they know I don’t have money.” When I realized that it wasn’t a joke, that I would pay for everything and that she could take whatever she wanted, I took butter and rice. Olive oil and rice!! to
Asked why there are no products at home, to understand what else to take, it turned out that there is nothing at home at all. When I threw a pair of chocolate tiles into the basket, such childlike joy appeared in my eyes... my sister of 3 years of age has the same eyes when chocolate is allowed to eat... Grandma loves chocolate very much, only to buy it for 6 years.
She did not know what to do while they went to the box office - then refused to take foods, then said, "then tell me that you are my nephew, or we will not be missed at the box office," then thanked and was baptized. Since she was so afraid of the cash, I was very interested in finding the man who, when he did not miss her at the cash with her, then purchases: 2 canned foods and bread. of 120 rubles.
She did not leave the house for a month. I ate the conserve, it ended a few days ago.
With such brilliant eyes she said to me, "You know, son (so I called you and "son") when I left the house, I asked the Father of heaven to send me 100 rubles for food. Sometimes I find money on the road, and you bought me a lot.”
I go and I am ashamed. He took home and picked up the food.
She lives in a business class house - brick towers at the intersection of Leninsky and Udaltsov. was surprised. It turned out that the apartment there was obtained after the demolition of the fifth floor, which stood in this place. I lived with my son. Her son died six years ago and she was left alone.
And here’s what’s interesting – because there are a lot of people living in the house, they knew her son, they see that the grandmother has been living alone for a long time and is walking in the fall, that she doesn’t eat normally... He picked up the foods, went to the apartment.
On the floor of cardboard, all household appliances are ripped out in the kitchen (it is apparent that they are ripped out of the kitchen and the side of the kitchen is broken). She explained that the niece and sister of the grandmother together immediately after the death of the son took all the furniture, all the equipment and no longer appear - waiting when the grandmother will not be, to take up the apartment. You would see how she lives, what she had on the table...
I understand, approximately, why money from retirement is not enough for food - a public service in this house, a concierge (to try not to give the money) and other costs twice as much as in the fifth floor, and the grandmother has no other housing, engaging in the exchange of an apartment is terrible - the elderly will be killed, then deceived, in general, there is no chance to change the apartment. It doesn’t matter all that.
The important thing is that this unfortunate basket of products, which it is enough for a month, costs 2000 rubles. 2 thousand rubles.
In the 19th-floor two-way business-class house, people cannot co-operate and prevent a grandmother from dying of hunger.
What a grandmother! 😉 She worked at the Central Institute of Cosmonautics (seems to be so called), a scientific associate, a candidate of sciences. He sang once. Looking at the photos from the distant youth - what a beautiful woman was!) Such an old age...
Her sister calls her every six months to find out if she is dead or not. And every time the "parent" hears that the grandmother is still alive, she curses her and puts a phone. She has a granddaughter, a niece, who is waiting for us to leave. Comrades and relatives, wait. My grandmother will be fine. And food, and clothes, and the sanatorium will go, and you, and all will survive, I will try.
To say goodbye I heard so many kind words... I didn’t know what to do – whether to thank, whether not to delay, whether to cry. I said I would go in sometimes. Returned home, opened FB, immediately saw a friend's description of a similar situation in the store, once again convinced me that the situation was just ahtung.
A lonely old man can die of hunger in a house where all the neighbors are aware that the person is undernourished and everyone has the opportunity to extend the life of the grandmother without stress for their budget.
All of Pocher. Not even so, all of them.
Doctors will come, form somehow and there is no person. In spaceflight, a man worked, developed the filling of the apparatus on which Gagarin was sent into space. No matter anyway.
They are going to die of hunger and no one is interested.

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