bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №100460
 13.07.2014
XHHH: It killed me! A body comes to me now and asks for a USB cable for my phone!!! to
WOW: And what then? He said it all right, because it’s overflowing :)
Tagged: shot

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №100459
 13.07.2014
He passed excellent EGE in physics and inf, decided not to waste his talent in vain. I chose to enter one of the best universities in Russia, specifically the department, which teaches on the profile of Optics and physics of nanostructures. Directly the latest technology, teachers are almost all scientists with a degree, etc. I found a group of students and employees of this department VKontakte. The first topic in the discussions: "Let’s not cheat anymore?" It seems I’m starting to suspect that we have a country with science about O_O

[ + 37 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №100458
 13.07.2014
What you arranged – in the USSR it was good, in the USSR it was bad... In all times someone was good, someone was bad, someone was lucky, someone was not very good...
My grandmother and grandfather earned an apartment and lived for five thousand rubles, three sons were excellent, there was nothing to complain about. But there was a neighbor who worked with my grandfather in the factory — she survived five of her six children who died of drunkenness and — imagine! and drug addiction. I was still small when they died one after another, and I was thirty, that is, they became addicted in the deep USSR.
Grandfather told me that an employee at the factory disappeared from work right after Orwell: there was a man - but he seemed to never have been.
Reading Strugatsky, I think how glorious it was: in the USSR everyone was kind and sought to space (in fact, as Boris Nathanovich said, it was only their brother and their ideal world), and reading Vasily Aksenov about the 60s, I can't get rid of the feeling of dirt.
Let’s be objective: the fuck hasn’t changed. Someone is still sick, someone is sick. Someone is still rich (except that it is not from under the floor to get goods, but in the open), someone is poor. And again: society is still divided, hell, into intels and prolls, although sometimes not too clearly.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №100457
 13.07.2014
They met three men who hadn’t seen each other for a long time. They are all married and YYY already has a three-year-old son. They sit and communicate.
Q: Do you have any pets at all?
YYY: My wife tried to fish. But they all died quickly. Therefore, after the second attempt decided to stop the genocide and sold the aquarium. There was a lot of hemorrhoids with them.
<... after 15 minutes of talk...>
XXX asks YYY: Tell me, is it difficult to raise children?
In the conversation enters ZZZ: well, apparently, easier than a fish.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №100456
 13.07.2014
A deep night, a call. A quiet man’s voice on the phone:
Hi to you! I am on advertisement. Do you sell puppies?
and yes.
I need a girl.
Right now?? to
Eeeeee...
- You understand, usually at night calls relatives, if, don't give god, something happened...
No, thank you, I am fine!
rialrays out of forum Answer with quotation

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №100455
 13.07.2014
Michael: Any food chemist, nutritionist, oncologist knows, meat, especially fried - oncogen, although not strong.
Zloradskij: Any food chemist, nutritionist, oncologist - meat, although usually raw. I wonder what it feels like to be a cancer and how do they live with that knowledge?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №100454
 13.07.2014
Any of the foods you eat can be synthesized in a terrible installation from stinking disgusting abominations using all kinds of algae and acids that are terrible for you. The fact that it is much easier, cheaper, faster and further in the text to extract food products naturally does not cancel the fact that they can be artificially synthesized. The strawberry from the bed synthesizes the same substance that you are in the laboratory, using your enzymes for this. There are no more differences in essence. Let us remember all kindly that kefir is a result of heterogenic fermentation that has collapsed under the action of products of the vital activity of lactic acid bacteria. If you suddenly decide to synthesize kefir, you can make it from milk and lactic acid in a bunch of stages. The milk acid itself is also made from handmade means. All this will be a terrible chemistry and absolutely similar to conventional kefir. There are no chemistry textbooks on you, panicers.

____________

What do you want from people who are sure that there is no alcohol in beer: after all, they know that when brewing beer no alcohol is poured there. And even if the beer in the store with the label "4*" (four degrees), then it is not the content of alcohol, but the strength of the drink" (sic).

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №100453
 13.07.2014
to this:
A woman goes in front of me in the basement, slightly subdued (smelled): "Oh, what snow :))" and touches the mold with her hands, and then turns around and says disappointedly: "Not all snow :("Not all snow that is white and blanky!

Why did you go after the woman in the basement? O_O

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №100452
 13.07.2014
This is a quote, right? Let me, then, for all those who argue about the delights and difficulties of life in different epochs, quote the great Chinese philosopher Han Xian-tzu:

The absence of wealth is not poverty. Poverty is the thirst for wealth."

And yet another:

“Don’t pay attention to how people treat you – pay attention to how you treat them.”

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №100451
 13.07.2014
XXX is
Skype Oherel... It says: You were disconnected from Skype because you are using an outdated version. Download the new version

XXX is
Strange, there is no message "In the new version of Skype, the US CIA will be able to monitor you more effectively"

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №100450
 13.07.2014
The most important thing that distinguishes the USSR from the present Russia is the lack of faith in the future. Lack of confidence in tomorrow. And – the absence of wonderful enthusiasts, the very idealists you laugh at now. People gave free time, talent and energy, making our lives more interesting and diverse. We had a student theater at the institute, where a wonderful woman was not in charge, not in charge of profession, not for money, but in favor of a wonderful woman! We disappeared there in the evenings and nights, we put up performances, let it be naive, funny, we then played on the holidays shows, bringing out the house curtains for costumes... but we did not drink vodka, did not smoke, did not crack, and did not replace our only life by sitting in front of the computer...

[ + 45 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №100449
 13.07.2014
I can’t calm down, sorry.
I am from Dnipropetrovsk. Right next to us Ukrainians are killing Ukrainians. The count goes to hundreds of killed and hundreds of destroyed. Some people will tell me how bad it was in the USSR. Because there was no way to go to Turkey, and there was no McDonald’s. Yes, in the USSR, we could not imagine this even in a nightmare! As is the case with the normal empire, the USSR waged wars not on its territory (after World War II).

[ + 10 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №100448
 13.07.2014
And people were kind, more heartfelt. This is the biggest disadvantage of our current...
— — —
and better? More heartily? When you could be knocked on / fooled out of jealousy that you have capron socks / imported jeans / magnetophone, and they don't. When the school girl's heart on her school shirt was overwhelmed by the whole school (you should be like all the gray mass and not exhausted...). Or when the "kulak" lands were picked up or burned in the houses (simply because the fists worked and sought, while the rest boiled and pined).
And such examples I can give a million, the blessing of the grandmother of the 27th birthday is still alive and told. The kindness of people is a pearl.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №100447
 13.07.2014
This cute girl.

I can’t stand up! 😉

Any vegan, with any beliefs, the next day of such physically hard work will ask to eat meat - otherwise he will die.

– – – – –
I’ve been a vegan for 8 years. Three years have passed on the earth in the real sense of the word. 8-10 hours a day. He pulled a car with the ground twice his weight. In addition to work, I was engaged in sports (running, swimming, dancing). By your standards, I would have been curled for a long time, probably)))
It is not! 😉
And now changed the job (and also not in the office) and the place of residence, but added a bicycle and a scooter, because there is no place to give energy))))

And my boyfriend eats cocklets, borsches on the bone, pigeons. And all this (what terrible!) of the meat. I cook for him myself. And without any there "How can you eat killed animals?and "

Cats are not vegetarians either.

Good health to you, meat eaters! And for you vegans!
Stop getting each other on your heads =)
-------
This is the only adequate vegan I’ve seen in my life!
Most just: "How can you eat killed animals?and "
Thank you and happiness to you!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №100446
 13.07.2014
Child 4 years.
How did you break your tooth?
“Well... We have a very tough commodity in the room...Pokerface.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №100445
 13.07.2014
I can’t stand up! 😉

Any vegan, with any beliefs, the next day of such physically hard work will ask to eat meat - otherwise he will die.

– – – – –
I’ve been a vegan for 8 years. Three years have passed on the earth in the real sense of the word. 8-10 hours a day. He pulled a car with the ground twice his weight. In addition to work, I was engaged in sports (running, swimming, dancing). By your standards, I would have been curled for a long time, probably)))
It is not! 😉
And now changed the job (and also not in the office) and the place of residence, but added a bicycle and a scooter, because there is no place to give energy))))

And my boyfriend eats cocklets, borsches on the bone, pigeons. And all this (what terrible!) of the meat. I cook for him myself. And without any there "How can you eat killed animals?and "

Cats are not vegetarians either.

Good health to you, meat eaters! And for you vegans!
Stop getting each other on your heads =)

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №100444
 13.07.2014
Viva the football! Die as a fool!

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №100443
 13.07.2014
Studying at Jurfax, I decided to order a pizza on the occasion of the birthday of a group member. I call the delivery service and explain where we are.
The courier tells me:
Yes, I know, I also finished the jurec!
Motivated by Scuco.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №100442
 13.07.2014
“Stuardess, why do we fly and tremble?
Who told you we were flying? The band was broken and could not take off. To Chelyabinsk is only 100 kilometers - and so we get there.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №100441
 13.07.2014
I believe that copyright should be automatically lost after the death of the author. Because it is completely unfair. Why, for example, the heirs of doctors who saved a large number of lives receive nothing, and the heirs of authors receive fees for the next 70 years?
I fear that if the end of the protection is linked to the death of the author, successful authors will begin to be killed.

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