xxx: In fact, that in Invitro, that in Hemotest, there is another problem: it is the need to voice your analysis in words. Let's say a person comes to take a test for the same HIV. All analyses have codes. He says, say, can I please analyze something like that? He responded, “What is it?” What analysis? He is like that again, but quietly, that, say, is HIV. To him in response, the grandmother in a mask, helmet and hoodie says: "What??? I can’t hear??? What is the analysis??? Well, and the man in response, say, to HIV analysis, you are a fool (cut off at the end)!! She replied, “What about HIV? With you 1000R! CHEL: It will pay. After a minute, the nurse from the office: "Who is there for HIV in us???" And all this time there are 10 billion people listening to it, because in the morning and everyone goes to the carpet)))

I got fired from one job and one friend splashed out to me with unterrestrial feelings, inviting me to work. A friend worked as a storage worker in an electronics warehouse, and I was in it a full nube, memory from the processor could not distinguish. I was unable to use the computer. He promised to teach me everything, but when I went to work he took me off the next day, leaving me alone in the warehouse. As it turns out, the man was not allowed on vacation until he found a replacement. In general, I had to, online, study the warehouse program, look for goods in the warehouse and study the nomenclature. But a month later, when my friend returned, I was already able to do everything, acquiring only a couple of gray hair.

P.S. The reverse side of the medal. I was offered a job in the warehouse after 3 months, and a friend was fired, but this is a completely different story.

I go to the subway and suddenly the stomach starts to spin, well, I think - fuck me... I get to the station, jump out, run to the outlet to the turnikets, there are usually metro employees quiet. I approach a woman in shape, I ask - where is the toilet? I will explode! She - we do not have, there is free on the street 100 meters from the subway (showing where to run). I don’t run that fast anymore. I try to squeeze the bulky that there is urine, and in the stomach of the BUUR BUUUUR BUR ah thyž suca BURRR Oh shit, oh shit... I go out, I look with my eyes filled with blood... I see the toilet... I go in, there the woman cleans up, I go into the first cabin and I look at the toilet paper – no... I go out, I open the next cabin – no... next cabin – no... fuck... I ask the woman – toilet paper where? where, where - in the fifth, the entrance next to 10 meters... uff uff... crumbling in the fifth, because. The muscles of the buttocks are cramped... the legs are not listening, the head whispers like the stomach... I go into the fifth, I catch the toilet paper and.... I understand that everything is moving and death... the death of the whole pet... I stand, licking cold afternoon, with paper in the hands and with the eyes opened BUR BUR BUR... a shop employee passes by... I shake his hands, I say everything, call an ambulance, health inspection and firefighters - now you will have a horror that there is on the floor and that luster will also be... now we are two with the eyes opened and we hold one toilet paper... the employee says - and follow me. I – I cannot go. Employee - then crumble at least, but I will take you to the toilet! I was pulled into the cushion, there was a push... oh my god, what a beautiful, wonderful little, poor, terrible toilet. How I was pleased with him. And how pleased the fifth was when I left there - everyone accompanied me :DD

When confronted with power, you are always to blame.

How Vitya became a mariner.

Mother and grandmother took Vitu from the promiscuous Peter to the sunny Florida at a preschool age. So he, for the first time in the first class, went not to a Russian school with an in-depth study of English, but an American, where there was no Russian language at all.
At home, they communicated mostly in Russian, and every summer Vitya and grandmother flew to Peter for holidays. As a result, the boy managed to keep the spoken language at the level of the carrier. But he read Vitya in his native language by slogans and wrote in printed letters with a bunch of grammar errors.

After graduating from school, Victor, as usual, spent the summer in Peter. He celebrated his eighteen years of age when he was handed an agenda: first inviting to visit the district military committee, and then to serve the next year in the Russian army.
“This is the turn!” surprised Vitya and questioningly looked at the grandmother.
From St. Petersburg, Florida, the mother of the boy was urgently called to the Russian. In the district military committee explained to her that: "On the military record of her son did not put and the attestation did not be handed over, since he constantly resides abroad and is not subject to military record! It is the duty of the citizen!”
To the reasonable argument of an excited momma about the fact that her son has difficulty reading and writing in Russian, she was answered in the spirit of non-apocalyptic barracks humor: "We cannot - we will teach, we will not - we will!"

Vitya himself, raised as a law-abiding citizen in a private American school, wanted to follow the letter of the law and a year in the army, if appropriate, to serve.
“My former classmate Daniel, when he was flying to his relatives in Geneva, served four months in the Swiss army, and what’s worse for me?“Vitya argued her position to her grandmother.
The grandmother could not clearly explain to her grandson the difference between the Russian and Swiss armies and sent her mother to consult with lawyers. Those qualified explained that "cutting off medicine" will no longer work. Analysis and references had to be collected well in advance, and, burning, under the Florida sun, Vitya with an American white teeth smile and ten years of experience of year-round canoeing is unlikely to make the medical commission the right impression.

In general, it turned out that Vite would have to serve for a year.
“We will send him to the most secret troops,” the soldier intimidated the relatives of the recruiter. After serving in the army, he will not be able to leave the country for another five years. Even in Belarus!
Grandma and mother, finally ruined by a long life in America, did not understand the hints of the military commander and fell into a quiet panic.
“It’s time to take your fate into your own hands!” the young man decided.

Whole night Vitya thought what to do: how to avoid service without breaking the law? He signed a three-year contract with the U.S. Marine Corps.
"H," said the disheartened soldier, "to avenge from service in the army by service in the army is original!

According to surveys, 80% of cats are confident that people don’t understand them. "When trying to talk about something serious, the owner foolishly gives to eat" - this opinion among cats was heard most often.