bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №68576
 16.08.2012
In Belarus, risk management is reduced to the expression "Joppa чую"

[ + 37 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №68575
 16.08.2012
xxx: Yes, we have been near the house for weeks, two damn builders are building something and knocking down the roofs day and night!
YYY: And what does that have to do with what your husband doesn’t give you?
xxx: he said he can’t concentrate because he doesn’t get into the rhythm of the battle (((

[ + 45 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №68574
 16.08.2012
When I pull my cat Mitty out of the closet, asleep, soft, cuddled, I think there is somewhere a planet of the Big Cats. They are as important there as we are here. The same growth, and we get them to the middle of the ankle. Cats there pick up frozen little people near the entrance and bring them home. Feed sandwiches and hot tea. They hang in their advertisements with photographs: "Yesterday found, could not pass by. The person is very affectionate, it is visible that he is home, knows the toilet and manicure. I can’t afford it, I already have two people. Take!” and a picture of an ordinary such person in a striped coat, sitting on the couch, watching TV. How not to take it? [...] And they are there too, as we are here, walking around the room and seeing a man falling down on the couch and sleeping, spreading his legs to the sides. It is impossible to pass by such a dumb man. In an attack of tenderness, cats pull it out of the couch and begin to target a dry nose, smooth, steep their head into the stomach. The cat’s wife will say to the cat’s husband in a whisper: “Oh! Well, look at how he washes his teeth and brushes his teeth!” and quietly steals behind the phone to click. Cats on their planet are generally very kind and caring. Unfortunately, some men are not lucky. [...] When one cat comes to another for a visit, the person will sit under the couch. The cat slips under the couch and begins to pull the man by his leg: "This is our Vitalik, look how fat!"
eprst2000

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №68573
 16.08.2012
Russia and Ukraine passed fire and water together, and now stumbled on gas pipes.

[ + 35 - ] [8 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №68572
 16.08.2012
I am a woman. I don’t want a jaguar, I want to love my husband and cook a delicious borch.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №68571
 16.08.2012
From: Administrative Director
To: System Administrator

Yura, make Poline K. access to the "Tender Commission 2011"

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №68570
 16.08.2012
There is no worker.
The magic helps.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №68569
 16.08.2012
On KP.ru two news in a row:
"Earthmen are ashamed of the Lights from Ivanovo"
"Ivanovs throw into the water on bicycles"

They are really embarrassed...

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №68568
 16.08.2012
From the Daewoo Matiz review from the owner, after the text about the missing mirror, pockets and place in the barbecue:

"On the driving qualities of this car... It drives."

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №68567
 16.08.2012
kas_alex: we had a toilet in the passport table, on the door of which, in order to hide from visitors, hanged a paper "shell"
kas_alex: quite symbolic

[ + 40 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №68566
 16.08.2012
<Rover> I’m surprised by the girls who say: "I love men—meaning
I am a pido" or guys: "I love women - I am a lesbian"... and I have two
My feet are fucking fucking!

[ + 19 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №68565
 16.08.2012
Could I be like Dexter?

I: Killing people and packing them in packs?

Stanislav: In fact, I thought you’d say something like ‘unemotional and senseless,’ and I’d say ‘No, fucking, I’d kill people and put them in packs.’
The killer joke

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №68564
 16.08.2012
M is :-*
It is :-*
In the work?
Have you taken meat?
Did you meet the serpent?
M: 100
by :?
J: No is not?
M : 1
Tagged: damn damn

[ + 42 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №68563
 16.08.2012
In the event of a war with China,
Kill them by a million! in the day,
You can only kill 365 people a year.
Millions of Chinese
It accounts for 25% of the total population of China, and is almost equivalent to
Annual birth rate
The countries...

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №68562
 16.08.2012
Why do you mother so much? You are a philosopher!
Fucking go naked.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №68561
 16.08.2012
About the picture, "where a naked man without a head fucking a horse-cockpit?"

A picture of a man who lost his head from love for horses.

[ + 58 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №68560
 16.08.2012
Q: Have you bought a car?
YYY: Kalinna ((
XXX: What are the pluses?
YYY: Yes, one on the battery, the other on the pharmacy bag

[ + 24 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №68559
 16.08.2012
I shaved the beard, and the saddest thing is that nobody but the other shaved employee did not shave it ;(

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №68558
 16.08.2012
About the city of Ivanteevka
Alicia (guest) wrote 2 years ago
Here lives my friend Wolf.He is a welder and repairs pipelines. You should be proud of this. He dropped out of space for you. He is a specialist in special aircraft corps. The appointment. And he wants you not to be cold, as in space and the water you had was not from tubes.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №68557
 16.08.2012
Don’t be afraid of her mother! She’s so bad that she can’t even play Angry Birds: she’s sorry for pigs.

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