bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №151449
 17.12.2018
I took one of my familiar Uzbek taxi drivers on business. They talked. She asks him:

Are you married?

I have two wives!

Oh how! How did you succeed?

and simply. My first wife gave me a daughter and she was told she would not be able to give birth again. One child is too little, especially a girl. I gathered a family council. He proposed to divorce, build a house for them and help them. My wife did not want to divorce and decided that I would take a second wife. The other had to persuade for a long time, but she agreed. We now live on the same plot: the house of our first wife and daughter and our house with our second wife and son.

Is it suitable for them?

Absolutely!

How are you living here alone?

Why alone? Now my first wife and daughter live with me. Soon I’ll go with them home and take a second wife... we’ll have a second child with her.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №151448
 17.12.2018
The case was this summer, the place of action - Estonia, a lake. Datsuing faces - my husband and daughter of puberty age. We walk quietly by car along the lake, in the very center of which a duck floats phlegmatically. The Estonian sometimes blows up. From the back seat there is a heavy breath of the daughter:

The poor duck. I froze her ass in the cold water. Solitary so...

Is someone lonely? Yes, she’s happy, there’s not a single rot around! And most importantly, silence - not distracting from the driving, my husband revived.

There’s no one around – that’s all her sacrifice! I was pleased, and a minute later I added:

In fact, it’s just a duck swimming... The problems here are only with us. Let you understand: my husband works all his free time in Moscow in a taxi and is slightly tired of people, my daughter is 14 years old with all that follows, well, and I love to eat, yes.

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №151447
 17.12.2018
In fact, the master in the house is the one who can strain the mistress in the tapes, and he will have nothing for it.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №151446
 17.12.2018
In one office worked a chief of the security service, a great man, a former military, calm, reasonable, but unfortunately not very healthy. Due to deteriorating health, old age, he wrote a statement on his own, and was honoredly retired. Everyone thought that the boss would be appointed by the masters, but no, the boss decided to invite a "professional" from the side. A large enterprise, several buildings, production sites, a sea of equipment, almost a thousand employees, in general, there is somewhere to unfold. And there were, frames of metal detectors, turnikets and electronic passes, video cameras almost in sort, weekly reports to managers who came out and went in at what time, photos from external surveillance cameras with labels who smokes it in the wrong place, and so on. The people were slightly tense, but the conflicts continued, with attempts to inspect bags and bags at the exit, with the disconnection of the internet at workplaces, the ban on the use of cell phones in the offices, and the apophysis of this activity became the order for a full inventory of everything, including in production, with a withholding from the salary "for lack". And all in time unlisted consumers, materials, found themselves in the "fries" of the workers. The city is large, there is a demand for specialists, and a decent welder finds a job within a couple of hours, and a accountant with production experience within an hour. In a month, a man of thirty key specialists wrote a statement, no one counted the various workers, and the personnel department broke up, and ran to the directorate with the suggestion to shoot the shark, or at least to castrate. The director came in, themselves from the production, everyone understands, the chief security officer was kicked out, the former chief was taken in his place, and the staff department rushed to call the already dismissed, and offer fabulous allowances for returning to the native enterprise, and those who wrote a statement, but didn't have time to resign, dropped a premium, and also gave a allowance. It was me to the fact that this story was told to me by a friend who was very upset by the fact that she did not have time to write a statement, and received neither a prize nor a surcharge. In her hearts, the friend said, "That's how it turns out that the more you tolerate, the more.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №151445
 17.12.2018
Have you seen my diamond ropes?
You had no time!
This is exactly!

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna