Every time a soap ended up in the bathroom (by size), I wondered: why can’t you make a soap larger?

After a while, I bought some soap. It was once in size at 2. 5 more than ordinary soap.

When he went into the shower and at this time the new soap slipped from his hands and got a corner in his foot, all the questions fell away on their own.

I remembered the story that happened to me almost 13 years ago, in that blessed year, in which, as Dmitry Anatolyevich claimed, no one will be able to return.

It all started with the fact that I met a girl on the plane, more precisely she was with me. The talkative neighbor in the salon suddenly showed interest in my humble person. Neutral topics, such as discussing the weather delights of the destination country, flowed smoothly into an easy and unforced talk about everything in the world. After half an hour, we seemed to have known each other for a hundred years, my eternal tightness disappeared, there were no burdensome pauses in the conversation, I was humorous like a god. I’ve never felt such an inspiration before in my life and I thought I couldn’t afford to lose a soul mate forever. We exchanged contacts and broke up at the airport.

I never decided to call, eternal shyness took over me again. Nearly a month has passed, the euphoria from the vacation quickly passed away, the gray working days were sweeping. One evening after work, my mom and I crossed in the center to eat, talk and just walk around the city. Suddenly a phone call came out. "Again spammers, who else," I thought, lazily pulling out the phone. I looked at the screen and my heart almost jumped out of my chest: IT. I shake the answer button with my hands. “Hello, do you remember me? How to rest? Are you free now? Could we meet?” A little recovering from the shock, I appoint a meeting in two hours at the exit of the nearest subway. I promptly move to the meeting place, expecting to carry my mom to the turnikets, and myself stand to listen to street musicians, the good weather allows. And suddenly like the hell from a tobacco shop from somewhere on the side flies my acquaintance, much earlier than the agreed time (Then I already found out that she has an apartment right by the subway in several stations on the same line) Do nothing, decency obliges to introduce to my mother. Naively I thought that after the exchange of kindnesses, my mother would continue her journey. But it was not here. My new girlfriend tightly takes my mom into circulation and begins to tell in detail about our acquaintance, filling with compliments to my address. He immediately suggests going for a walk together, and then sit in the cafe and talk. I don’t know why, but my mom agreed. Per it was a lot of jealousy to put a mine under my possible relationships, or maybe I’m complicating too much, and my mother, by simplicity of mind, sincerely did not realize that I have my romantic interest, and the third here is clearly superfluous.  It is now, from the height of my years, I understand that nothing terrible happened, it was necessary to behave tolerantly and protectively, like a true gentleman. And then, because of my youth and inexperience, I was completely confused and horribly ashamed of my ridiculous position, I was ready to fail through the earth. On the backdrop of my mother’s charisma and charm, I was hurt and lost. They sat in the cafe for several hours, like long-time friends, and I only smiled and cheered.

It is necessary to say that the logical outcome of this stupid date was the sentence to a lifetime friend of a strict regime. 

The Prime Minister has fallen asleep, long live the Prime Minister!

I study for a clinical psychologist. Once, at a personality psychology lecture, our teacher gave a cool thing: “I love watching ‘Let’s get married’. Many people say to me, say, what do you look like, a nightmare. I like it! Not a show, but a festival of pathology.

Of the Medvedev government in its place only one person - Ulukaev.

We brought ZTE, FRP account deleted. Mom and daughter, with the box all things - "that you didn't think he was stolen." Well, I’m a simple person – there’s a job, I work it. The price is announced, the price is agreed. They agreed to take it the next day. After 40 minutes, he called the hostess on the left phone number - "Everything is ready, you can take it" - "Thank you very much, tomorrow we will come in"...and it came tomorrow.

The door opens, mother and daughter come in.

Hello, what is there? Everything works?

Hello, please check it out.

M (something clicks on the phone) - Okay, okay...okay, how much will I drop from the price?

I (I hate such moments, but as polite as possible) - in the sense, shed? We agreed the price with you yesterday, everything went well. You signed the receipt...

Well yesterday it was yesterday, I came home and thought it was somehow expensive! Let us give in! (This is a very demanding tone.)

We agreed the price. If you decide that it is expensive, then you have my number, you can call, and say that you changed your mind.

Yes, I came home and thought, Isn’t it like that? ! to ? to ! to You can trade before and after the work.

I am (still surprisingly calm) - well, if you are not pleased, I can bring everything back to its original state in a couple of minutes, and you can solve the problem elsewhere. And to trade with a man after the work, for which you have already agreed the price, it is very beautiful.

m (and how much you can interrupt me...blin, she has also poured money into me) - and everything is clear with you (as it is on "you" she is able to), I will never come to you again, and I will not advise acquaintances!

And she shrugged, clogging behind herself and behind the red-roasted daughter’s door. I mentally asked the Higher Forces that she should not really come again.

My mother looked good for a long time. Until the age of 45, no one gave her those years. Sluggish, sporty, all stretched, running, always cared for in short plates. She was a little over 30, we lived in a house on three entrances, we were in the third. So, one day, a woman from the first entrance approaches her and asks to meet her son. He says that his son came from the army, he needs a good bride. My mom has been out, she says, my daughter 12, my husband has. My aunt didn’t believe it and insulted her mother because she was sure her mother was lying. She took me (daughter) for a sister, and Daddy was not seen, he was constantly at work. So her son then came to us home with flowers and candy, came not alone, but accompanied by his mommy, who controlled every word and every step. Mom invited them to the apartment, we sat down to drink tea, waited for Dad from work. When my father arrived, my mother introduced everyone to her husband to make it clear. But there was a grand scandal, a aunt accused my mother that the joke, took gifts in sign of consent and readiness to love with her son. This is such a story. I don’t remember how it all ended, but my mom cried for a long time and my dad cried for a long time.