bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №57634
 18.12.2011
From my favorite network:

by Yanina:
In fact, the bejics were invented to keep an eye on the breasts without a burn.

by Dmitry:
Beagles were invented to make you know whose breasts you are looking after!

by Eugene :
Jan, your message just opened my eyes to life, and Dmitry’s message added meaning to it!

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №57633
 18.12.2011
In Italy, a cat inherited 10 million euros, real estate in Rome and land in Colabria
Y: And another question...what will the cat do? Will he buy cats and beat them? Do they have hairstyles?
X: In principle, with his condition, he can beat human females
The human is not interested, he is a cat.
X: Well you know, these rich people have such perversions...


[ + 52 - ] [6 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №57632
 18.12.2011
The grass is green.
The rain is coming...
This is shit, December!
Hello New Year!

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №57631
 18.12.2011
I was on the train. Suddenly the light froze and eventually disappeared. There was wind in the window. began to stop. Not dementia, I thought.
by Pilgrim(c)

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №57630
 18.12.2011
I was told by border agents how the illegals burned their paths: where the greatest concentration of cactus is seen, there is a path. Especially the desert. Where you dry, the cactus starts to collapse. Who will water the sand in the desert? Only illegals and illegal citizens.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №57629
 18.12.2011
Boy - girl: I admire watching you hang, it reminds me of downloading pictures on a modem...

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №57628
 18.12.2011
My two-year-old daughter found a Prodigy disc with the image of the band's soloist (in the photo he's opened his mouth and painted in black shadows). She asks, “Mom, who is this?” and I answer, “It’s my uncle, you see, he sings. The daughter says- no, this aunt is messy, you see, she screams-"I’m messy!"

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №57627
 18.12.2011
We sit in society, trying to bustle the historian, in order to stretch the time and not write the test.
M: L.B., you have such a powerful voice, you are such a great woman!
L b.You know, I had a boy here. He says, “If we could carry weapons and kill teachers, I would have killed you, L.B., first.”
M: Who is this fool?
( the pause )
L b. (with a deceitful smile): It doesn’t matter. He is no longer.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №57626
 18.12.2011
www.predkov.net: M is the mother! Why am I so unsuccessful? He wore socks, sneezed, hit his nose at his knee.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №57625
 18.12.2011
Today I read in the user guide:
The camera focuses on the mouths of dogs and cats when they look into the camera, and the "Timer" menu has the "Auto Release" option, which automatically releases the lock when the animal is detected".
So, to protect it, a! I checked it, it works great!)

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №57624
 18.12.2011
X-Blood: I have to confess to having hit the duck! On the road to the acuarel... (climbed the eyelid)
P.S. The cake was delicious.
Grag: And I was a rabbit yesterday, on the same road, in a dark evening. He ran into my bowl at my speed of about 100 km/h.
P.S There was no appetite, no appetite.
X-Blood: I didn’t eat there

[ + 38 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №57623
 18.12.2011
With Google VR, the answer to the question "Linux is cool?":
This is prestigious and respected among scientists. The girls also like. And the member when installing increases, by the way.

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №57622
 18.12.2011
How do you feel about Windows 7?
He: I am worth it. Two years already. I am satisfied.
She : What?! to
He: And what then? It has been standing, standing, and standing for two years.
She: Can I come? and ;)
He : Why?
She is MDA...

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №57621
 18.12.2011
British scientists from the University of Bristol have concluded that owners of cats tend to be more educated than owners of dogs, the Daily Telegraph on Saturday.

Fuck, I think I’m so clever. I have a cat!

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №57620
 18.12.2011
xxx is
I came, the ears of the raspberry steel, the fingers in the water at once, to melt off, I enter the entrance, from the top something drops between the platforms, I climb to the second, dark, everywhere red spots, on the floor, the sight as if someone else worked, the bags are rolling, the cloth like a jacket lies, it all flows from under it, what kinds of scars lie everywhere, the pieces are unclear what. In short, mla, took the lamp, went out, looked at what kind of strawberries the strawberries broke.

YYYYY
The word is resting ?

[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №57619
 18.12.2011
XXX: I will be a fairy god-a-at!
YYY: Fuck, what did you invent this time?
XXX: You can produce condoms that will be like the heads of our politicians. I have already come up with slogans: "Nathan’s Elite" and "Politicians – Damn!"


[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №57618
 18.12.2011
So tell me, how do you get to cook a normal mushroom soup? I usually either digest it (is obtained like jelly), or do not digest it (fungi like rubber). How do you get everything done on time?
YYY: It’s simple, my friend. Water boils, I reduce the fire on the plate, I throw mushrooms, potatoes and carrots into the pot. Then I’m going to watch a series of Houses.
YYY: After watching, I turn off the plate and leave the soup "to wash" in a closed pot. I’m watching the next series [...]
YYY : Voila!! to
YYY: And then I quietly eat a normal mushroom soup and at the same time look at House.
XXX is genius.

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №57617
 18.12.2011
Local news, the story of how a Mercedes crashed into the tires. Interview with a Southern worker.
- He (the driver) first beat the cottage, catch it, plant the car... and how he... water was given, cigarettes were given, no, they were given, he sits and breathes.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №57616
 18.12.2011
I am in shock. Description of a child's toy for the age of 1 year:
When the baby pulls Buryenka behind, a fun march sounds and the cow thinks: 1 km, 2 km...
After 5 km, the bury will get tired and ask the baby to stop and rest!! to
Walked under the table for 5 minutes, decided to bring to the car and check.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №57615
 18.12.2011
Maturity is when dreams are not yet fulfilled, and thoughts are already failing.

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