I really wanted chocolate, I watched my dad go to the store.
I:Father, buy me "Alanka"
No, I will not go to Leningrad.

I got the red agenda.
I’ll be arrested if I don’t come.)
Tell me I am gay.
I don’t think you’re gay XD

If the wonders of the falling stars were really fulfilled, at least in a small portion of men, Angelina Jolie's sexual life would be exceptionally varied and planned for many years ahead of old age.

Wherever my pineapple is, it will eat you.
YYY: I will only speak in the presence of my avocado
ZZZ: Unquestionable threats against you.

In the chat:
Robot: Hello to everyone!
The naive girl: Hi Robot! I wanted to have sex with a robot. Can you throw a couple of sticks? and ;)
I am a spam robot. I can put a couple of references.

At what time are you going to get married?
yyy:  Not earlier than 25 years old.
XXX: How old are you?
YYY: I am 20.
I will always be 20!

X: Please, please, I have to work hard.
HHH: I will even help you!
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
The frog?

russian_o@lj: It will still be very expensive to grow meat in the provider. More promising looks like a brainless cube of fast-growing beef with a toothed cradle in the middle and the digestive system. Belyaev, by the way, has something similar in one story.

zloradskij@lj: I saw such on television recently, they even sat a few in a row... it seems an interview in some ministry.

He has grass at home for ten years.
to smoke?
to sit!! to

I’m afraid of some Peter’s people.
WOW: What is it?
I’m going to the subway today. Driving 40 minutes, I got the iPad, I sit, the urine of zombies.
XHH: Someone is sleeping on my right (who can't understand - hands in gloves, the face with a cap is closed).
XHH: I can’t get through one mission, I can’t get through it, and they’re all killing. Here this body rolls, pulls out the headphones and slightly turns toward me. I still cannot see the faces.
See also 5 minutes. Then remove the cap.
You take a machine or a sniper. Long-distance drilling is inefficient"
Wow, that’s fucking obvious.
I turn around, and there a 18-year-old girl looks at me.
Q&A: What are you looking for? You would still run in Left Fo Grandpa with a knife". Then he stands up and goes out.
I’m afraid of Peter’s girls.

Supreme: In the left hand Dostoevsky, in the right cup of coffee?
Pavel: (respectfully) I have heard that everyone calls him differently. As for Dostoevsky...

Do you want to anger an unbelieving vegetarian? Cross him with the sausage.

You are removed from the trolling room for inappropriate behavior

Post in JJ:
Recently, wrapped up, I caught myself about going to wash dishes with sunflower oil.
of the answers:
Oh yeah, so I stopped buying yellow dishwasher fluid after burning potatoes on it.

Wow: Somewhere in the JJ recently read how the girl put on headphones, rolled music and dusted the apartment with the vacuum cleaner turned off :)

Oh the time! Oh the morale! Now a guy can hit a girl if he just writes a message without spelling and punctuation errors.

A project for a secret factory in Russia.
Asked the customer for a plant plan, the customer broke for a long time, and then issued:
You understand, we have a secret factory, we cannot give you the drawings, but you can look at Google maps by quality they are even better than the secret maps available with us.

Conscience cannot be of the female kind, because it is always silent.

History of History

After the victory over Napoleon, many Russian military leaders gained incredible popularity in Russian society. But a special piety caused ataman Platov, one of the main heroes of the war. In addition, he accompanied the Emperor to London, where he was awarded all kinds of incredible honors.
Upon arrival in Russia, Platov, before he went to his home on the Don, stopped for a short time in St. Petersburg at the Imperial Court. To him immediately fell to the reception of the entire upper Petersburg society. But Platov, a lazy shirt and a lover of feasts, could not tolerate this kind of techniques, where it was only necessary to conduct some kind of untold conversations. After a couple of such routes, he refused to accept anyone else. But the camarader sent to him from the Court properly about those who arrived and asked for admission, and described this person in detail - the academician is like that, the minister is like that... But Platov only flattered.
And here the camerer announced: "Nikolai Karamzin, a famous composer."
The payers answered, “Please ask!”
“Oh! You are probably a fan of Mr. Karamzin’s works!” The cameraman called.
“Fear of God! But I love composers: they’re all drinks.”

I am a star in bed. Hands, legs and sleep. And if I mow my fingers, it’s snow!! to

iq_21: Judging from a new photo of Jimmy Wales (founder of wiki) on Wikipedia, last year’s donations he foolishly missed