bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №95563
 19.03.2014
xxx: do not misunderstand me, but when Vaska sleeps with me, I prefer that he puts my ass and not my mouth, because there are no nails around my ass.

yyy: here... e... only the word nail gives hope to understand right >_<

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №95562
 19.03.2014
This is:
-------
And your shit is your shit.

The lover of the spouse.
-------
What are you going to eat there???? to

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №95561
 19.03.2014
Müller: Stryrlitz, I had a dreamy dream of Germany persuading Russia not to attack Ukraine.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №95560
 19.03.2014
I worked as an admin for a provider. I look at the catalogues on the working compile in the form of an introduction. In the folder "Engineer SX" I find another - "In case everything went wrong". I open, and there "Application for dismissal.doc"

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №95559
 19.03.2014
I cannot be silent

Continued by:
To this here:

I live in a five-story house. Neighbors, their mother, very heart-hearted and caring people: sheltered a cat at the entrance.
=========

A story about how one beetle-hop, under the approving silence of the beetles, banned one cat. Being kind and not indifferent in our time is not in honor. It is a pity that the injury was not placed.

The good and indifferent take the homeless cat to themselves, as was suggested,
And not forcing the whole entrance to smell the cat’s urine.

_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
More than that. The food that the serdobroli debils leave to the cat, is spoiled, smells, it is planted in the strawberries. Cats then give birth to kittens there, half of which die and start to rot right in the basement. Sometimes these cats themselves will also die, well, you realized... no one of the feeding people thinks about it. And once I had to go down with the chairman of the ZSK in the basement of our residential house. The poisoning desire to hold down is quite difficult. And he and the carpenter burn rubber gloves every month and clean all the products of life, rotten food and, sometimes, the bodies of kittens in order not to get a fine from any next inspection. Do not even try to use the argument about rats - there have long been ways to get rid of them without cats.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №95558
 19.03.2014
My daughter broke the fork.
I: Somebody will come
My daughter: who?
I am the evil woman.
Strange, you are already here.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №95557
 19.03.2014
Remembering the destroyed monuments of Lenin in Ukraine... Per they thought it was his crusades?
and.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №95556
 19.03.2014
I have more confidence in American blockbusters than Russian films about people who walk around an apartment without taking off their shoes.

[ + 30 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №95555
 19.03.2014
What to explain is that in the streets, in the transport, in cafes, in shops, and nowhere! There are no men about forty years old?
__________________________________
They drive private cars, eat at home, and their wives run through the shops.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №95554
 19.03.2014
111: Here are you and the general trace... here even the aircraft can not find))))))
222: We are watching you and we know that you have a broken cap.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №95553
 19.03.2014
here here :
You made me eat. Receive it.

The Distributor
____
You at least eat me, you use me differently))

Ananas

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №95552
 19.03.2014
I once wrote in the status "I want snow" because in our southern latitudes snow is rare. Should I tell you? Half of the Rostov region. The snow has fallen on the belt, and this is not a figure of speech. Schools did not study. The nightmare is short.
===
Thanks to you, landlord! I had snow on my shoulders in the yard (my height is 1.86m). It was snowing for three days and I could not go to work.
Now wish me something good, so to say, in compensation.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №95551
 19.03.2014
Continued by:
To this here:

I live in a five-story house. Neighbors, their mother, very heart-hearted and caring people: sheltered a cat at the entrance.
=========

A story about how one beetle-hop, under the approving silence of the beetles, banned one cat. Being kind and not indifferent in our time is not in honor. It is a pity that the injury was not placed.

The good and indifferent take the homeless cat to themselves, as was suggested,
And not forcing the whole entrance to smell the cat’s urine.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №95550
 19.03.2014
The light:
One man told me. There was a time, he dreamed genius dreams, he jumped up in the middle of the night with a clear and clear thought of what and how to do. And then I went to sleep and by the morning I remembered nothing, except that the thought was brilliant.
One evening, he put a pen and paper on the bedside. Not long they waited for their hour, soon a brilliant dream again visited our hero. In the morning, he wakes up, takes a paper in his hands, and it is written in crisp letters: “The nail is ready to dry the water.”

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №95549
 19.03.2014
D3 comments on the news:
In Kiev it is proposed to rename the streets and squares of the capital, which in their name contain the word "Moscow" - Moscow Prospect, Moscow Street, Moscow Square.
The most important thing in Kiev is the Moscow Bridge, one of the few through the Dnieper.
YYY: this will be the "Jurnal of the Moscow Bridge"
zzz: A true patriot from disgust will not even walk on him.

[ + 17 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №95548
 19.03.2014
I explain:

I will not understand the general joy of the entry of Crimea into Russia. It will be another subsidy region, like Chechnya. They will receive pensions from our fund, although they did not pay deductions, as did Chechnya. All the money from our taxes will go there unmeritedly, as in Chechnya. The happiness of the Russians is understandable, and what do you rejoice about?

First, it is too small for the Russian people to count coins when the lands that have always been ours and the people that have always been ours are returned to us. The unity of the Russians is much more important than some colour fantasy.

Second, Crimea is a strategic platform for control of the Black Sea and the surrounding air. For control over such a place, again, paper is not a pity.

Basically, the Southeast of Ukraine, to which Crimea previously belonged, was never a subsidy. On the contrary, these regions constantly fed western Ukraine, which itself produces nothing, but simply lives on the taxes of the Southeast. (As a thank you for this, Western Ukraine hates the Southeast.)

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №95547
 19.03.2014
The boy asked yesterday:
To be a good athlete in Russia, you have to be a disabled person.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №95546
 19.03.2014
*In New York, dry weather and +10 in March changed to -10 and -8.

Alexey: I think so.
Alexey: We could remove Freddie Krueger's remake
Alexei: people gathered, dissatisfied with the cold, burned the Maslenica... and she survived... wounds licked... and all fucking! All the shit! -50, -60 and -70 Snow on the 2nd floor. In the May!

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №95545
 19.03.2014
My wife and I have a theological dispute. I tell her:

In general, you understand, the biblical Yahweh, if you compare him to a man (and there is too much human in him) - the carrier of many unpleasant traits of character. He is avenging, petty, malicious, inclined, and constantly needs humiliation from people to maintain and enhance a sense of self-importance. Remember, for example, what Yahweh did after Abraham gave birth to Isaac?
Hm... are you surprised?

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №95544
 19.03.2014
XHH: Generally speaking, I went out for a walk with a group in the queen. Well, I am modest, the first date was not glued somehow. Then they found a common language, the pause was less and less. And I look, next to us almost all the walk is a couple. I’m not a paranoid, but in an hour to choose the same route in a huge park? I watched. The guy, noticing my attention, began to gesture me, his girlfriend helped him, the gestures showed "take your hand", "take your hand", and so on. I was alert, I did not know how to perceive such a trolling, as a result, my modesty still did not allow anything to be done. Eventually, they took their hand and left. And the girl also noticed that I was distracted and upset that I did not listen to her. We have not talked for a week.
<many sympathy in the general conference>
zzz: so yes, this guy was me. seeing how you had been sucking for a whole month just thinking of inviting her to go for a walk, I decided to support you and show you the right example, otherwise you would have been walking like friends all night.
zzz: and you not only did not understand nihuya fucking, but also managed to capitalize!
Zzzz: I am not happy with you.
zzz: come to her, say that you have not found all the sculptures in the forest and call again.
ZZZ: Do it now. I will watch you. I give you a week.
YYY: Gentlemen, we have just observed the phenomenon of Misaki’s reincarnation into an alpha-guest.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna