My Intel 80286 is 20 years old this year. It survived MSDOS versions 5.0, 6.0, 6.1 and even Windows 3.0. Due to the unfortunate coincidence of circumstances, it can now be loaded only from a 5.25 diskette with a dox 5.0. Flopovod 3.5 killed as he killed the EGA monitor 14, the keyboard and the miracle-beast-mouse. Operative sclerosis at 1 MB and video marasma at 256 KB work properly. It is very cool because of the gold and platinum in it, like the Harlem Niger. I won’t sell it because it’s good. I played Wolfenstein and the First Civilization on it, and I taught Turbo Pascal on it. He’s my childhood friend, and friends don’t sell.

Dear spammers, you are reading this. Tell me about the funniest ways you’ve been sent.

Who knows if you get up in the air on a helicopter and hang on the same spot for a long time, will the Earth rotate under it or it will land in the same place?
Z is. I apologize for the sleepless night.
Schmeterling

Who are you, your mother? ]:- and lt;
I am your mother, your mother.
- O_O

The fraudster cleansed the unemployed moscovite for 105 thousand euros

Message from the forum of the rectorate of the MFTI.
Constantine, why did you close the black exit at the 2nd entrance of the 9ki?
I had some problems related to the fact that my weight is less than 50-55 kg (limit on the cargo elevator) and therefore the cargo elevator does not respond to me (I will note that I am not the only girl with such a problem in 9k). It turns out not a very good situation that I can not always get out of the shelter alone: the exit from the stairs is closed, the elevator 1 button - if the truck comes, then I can not leave:(
Can you put a few bricks or something else in the elevator?

xxx: Doing nothing, no one writes in aske, in contact and universe is boring, porn is all some sort of monotonous :(
I need your grandmother :D
XXX: So I’m a grandmother, but I don’t need anybody to bite.
YYY: O_o

xxx: the majority of pedestrians pass by the rules "green - go, red - run".

And you too, when you see your friend / friend / colleague printing something on your computer, confusing the layout, do you tell him about it by means of a meaningless set of sounds?

The chief told.... It was 20 years ago... One of his relatives flies into the common toilet with the eyes blown out (well, it squeezed strongly), sits down and begins to do what she actually did))) The process went - looks next to the neighboring shock man sits and is busy with the same... It turns out, she confused J and M... In general, they met, married and to this day together...

Ctr1A1tDe1ete: You did not see me
According to the descriptive
Ctr1A1tDe1ete: maybe I am Pushkin... I describe it beautifully, and I am a monkey.

I heard a grandmother talk on the benches. They boasted of their grandchildren. "My Target, said one, ended up attorney". “And my Sashenka,” said the other, “finished on the computer.”
I cried for half an hour when I heard it.
(the excerpt)

Anya: My mom, when she goes away for a long time, leaves me notes of this type:"Anya flowers","Anya dishes","Anya-pol"...
Anya: But this is still nonsense.The most cruel, it is "Anya-cat pot"
I am not a cat pot >_<'

The performance of the video card does not depend on the size of the elephant breastplate on the box.

Alcoholism is not a physical disease, but a moral one. Russia is the most moral country in the world.

Andrei Smolin, the remarkable author of the site "Jokes from Russia", in connection with the award of the extraordinary title "three-time grandfather", is dedicated:))

When my older sister was giving birth to Vanka, I just came from the army and was still a green-shaped puppy.

And Vankin’s dad, Valera, is such... a valerian, shorter. All his life on the construction worked, and besides this construction, and winter fishing, such a feeling people have never seen. He is now a valentine, and then was a valentine valentine. with calories. When my sister gave birth, he first called me to go with him to the nursery. Because he alone is afraid. And when they were already there under the windows, I walked there, jumped, shouted, “Egei!“And he stood by the side, like he happened to be here. When the sister looked, he already understood, showed himself very heroic. I shrugged my hand twice.

He is ten years older than me. There are such people. Three times we have been there. Without me, he was afraid to drive, and I was just working in the morning, I wasn’t in pain. And in the evening he calls me, and frightenedly says, "Galia must be taken tomorrow." He apparently expected that this would not happen and Vanu will be called directly from the nursery to the army. And he said to me, “You come, short! I don’t know what is there! What things to take there... She told me something on the phone, I forgot everything!“...”

In short, I feel like Valera is in an impasse. There is only one way out of the impasse: through the throat. A little more, I feel, and Valera will solve all the problems easily and simply. It swells down and that’s all. I’m saying, not sash, at what time to take it? At the 12. I will arrive at 10. Early in the morning, I went to the transfer station. So, if it were, you could change the changes, but then you will have to drink, and that for a long time. So I decided to have the stock in a couple of days. And there are weekends.

Well, after the transfer station came to Valera. Right there on the way.
Valer is so squeezing a little, but I see - inside ni-ni, holds. Whiskey is clearly full of house. was stunned. These pants can be purchased later. There is no vodka, but there is a supply. Okay well. I called a taxi at 12:30.
(Taxis then ordered) began to look at what is not. What they didn’t run for. Kit for the child, bouquet mom, dishes in the kitchen to wash, underwear, staff bouquet, cognac, socks, suckle, from under the couch, candy, champagne, new film in the camera, condoms...
Why are condoms?? to
and oh! It is not from here!
This is approximately. Here is a characteristic episode of Valerian's scattering.
Oh yeah the joke! by Lenta! Do you have a tape?? to
Oh oh! There is! There is tape! Only I don’t know which.
It gets a whole package of these tapes, what colors there just aren’t!
I am with the reserve. Fig knows, there is some kind of color.
must be.
Tell me, how do you get the brain of a saleswoman in the store so that she can not understand what color the tape is needed if it wraps Vanya? That’s what it is, fucking, Father Valer.

Okay, as if it was all. We come to the birthplace. Valery shakes a little.
Gave things. We wait. A nurse appears.
Who is Father?
He also looks at me. Because I have a bucket in my hand. And Valery’s hands are busy, he holds himself in them. It is just a little behind. Well, no answer, the nurse on Valera. And here’s Valera, I look, making eyes more glasses
(and he’s still eye-catching, ahah), he touches me with his hand and says, “He!” the nurse says to me, “What, daddy, has your tongue swallowed out of joy? Good yet sober... Luckily, Mom will come out, give a bouquet, take the baby. Do not fall? Look at it!”
I speak with fear. “I will not hurt. This is our second.”
And indeed, I Lenku-to, the first niece, thought from conception carried, because her daddy (who I never saw in my eyes) merged, barely learning about pregnancy.

Well, here is Galia coming out, mouth to ear. Galia, she is not an optimist, but a very joyful copy of our genealogy. Always silent, and a smile to the ears. Well, I handed her a bouquet through Valera, knocked in the cheek, and
Vanessa took her out. I looked – okay, Vanka like Vanka. We said “Thank you all” and went. Valera just so grabbed Galli and holds. Found, shit, the point of support.

Well, and then we’re in a taxi, Galka laughs, happy like that. I say, “Why are you laughing?” she hugs me and says, “How good that you came! I didn’t sleep all night, I thought.
Will I give Valerie? He himself will fall and Vanka will fall down!” and Dad Valera sits like an eagle on the front seat, and tells the driver that it is his son at all, and that tomorrow if the driver comes to ten, they will ride behind the wheelchair without a counter and without any grievances at all. He lived, mostly, so immediately, the chest of the wheel, where the thing happened!

Well, this is somehow. Vanya was born on August 8, and weighs 5100. That I remember well. I can’t tell the centimeters. Now he is pumping oil somewhere in Nadima, and he has two of his own. Just like his valentine father. “Uncle Cole, I’m going home to my mom on Wednesday, through Moscow, will you meet me? Let us talk. I missed you so much! I don't know how c
Pavelecki on Yaroslavl to get.”

Healthy patients were taken to the hospital.

IT Department in the morning.

I am close to you!! Alexander Stepanovich, release me or the cleaner!! to

The cry of a girl during an orgasm is one of the most beautiful sounds of nature.
The cry of a girl is not comparable to the cry of a dolphin. None ever
XXX is Opa! Are you fucking dolphins? I can't understand that decibels don't change, but fucking....not in decibels happiness) And in understanding that you are really a man for your girlfriend, but it seems in your case still dolphins))
XXX: Fuck the Goose
XX: The sounds will be nightmarish

Do you also think that Coca-Cola in 0.5 cups is more delicious than in 2 litre bottles?