My mother called and said that during the lunch break she spent all her cash, dirty her pants in paint (on her ass) and accidentally drank some cleanser.
Ura, now I’m 100% sure that I wasn’t replaced at home!

A friend said:
They sit in the bar and drink accordingly. All at the top rating, candles on the tables. Here one fell asleep in the toilet, he takes a lit candle and goes to the designated room. The guard stops, the candle cannot be said. And he will take him and answer, “I was born in a castle and I am not used to going to the bathroom without a candelabre!”

A friend (P) came to a consultation with a gynecologist (B).She wanted to do an ultrasound to determine the sex of the child.

Q: What is your month now?
I am in April, and you?

Bishop (02:32:02 28/04/2009)
Indonesia - there is a punishment for masturbation - decapitating;

Bishop (02:32:10 28/04/2009)
Fuck you would be.

Fan (02:32:24 28/04/2009)
In Lebanon, men are allowed to have sex with animals if they are female. Sex with male animals is punishable by death.

Fan (02:32:27 28/04/2009)
You too

Bishop (02:32:34 28/04/2009)
by Dybala

Bishop (02:32:44 28/04/2009)
I have a female dog.

Every man should know, although not funny.

As you know, 1 calorie is the amount of energy spent on heating 1 gram of water per 1 degree Celsius.

Thus, if you drink a liter of cold beer at a temperature of 4 degrees Celsius, your body will spend the following amount of energy to heat it to body temperature:
1000 grams of X (37C-4C) = 1000 x 33 = 33000 calories.

If you consider that the energy value of the liter of beer itself is about 10,000 calories, then you get 23 thousand. Calories of pure weight loss, which is equivalent to 30 minutes of jogging.

Drink more cold beer to lose weight.

Bring it to the best - let everyone be happy)))))

------------

As a doctor, I tell you beer is a low-calorie product. This is all nonsense allegedly beer - liquid bread. Beer contains phytoestrogens - female sex hormones. From behind them in men there is a tendency to a female figure (beer stomach, cellulite, the shape of the body becomes more feminine and no matter how you eat your body itself will be restructured under this), as well as a change in the hormonal background (the ratio of male and female sex hormones) which affects potency.
As one Baltic doctor said: “I drank beer and my grandmother didn’t want it.”

I apologize for the mistakes in Russian.

So be healthy, love girls and be real men.

from fiar

3Jlou: The strength of the will... the strength of the will... here to me in the summer girl acquainted at night came, so and so, like go with you... "summer time of entertainment and rest"... and I her: NO! No is! No is!

And I feel like the skill of the Force of Will +1, but fucking...
My friends are stupid! The stupid...

What is Intelligence -1? and :(

In the hospital a man on the phone: I was in... Forgot...Well where the dead live do...In the resuscitation! )

A friend lost a wedding ring in the field. Very upset. My husband said, “Let me buy you a new one.” To what you got the response, don’t have to.
This acquaintance secretly bought a metal detector from her husband and ran with him on the field for three days.
P.S
I found! and :)
The pps.
This is the power of love.

In anapa bought shells, the seller "good shells! I’ve been there all winter!"

And if Onotole and Chuck Norris get together, what will happen?
YYY: There will be nothing. Not you, not me, not the universe.

Russian women are so harsh that they drink weight loss tea along with cake.

efrosine: fucking, today I got my breast in the paint, now I have a stain on the...

Nico-Nico... I touched the hot dish in the kitchen that week.

Efrosine: Do you have a stain on your bowl now?

Cossack is crazy!!! to

h8hope (21:27:04 16/04/2009)
Do you know how to say there is a difference between the letter E or Y?

Dashyta (21:27:23 16/04/2009)
I don’t have xDD

h8hope (21:27:28 16/04/2009)
And here is the difference: a whole year passes; a whole year passes?

by Dashyta (21:27:43 16/04/2009)
XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

XXX: Fuck, today a full pipet is being made in communion!
YYY: What is this?? to
xxx: Let me go out of the room last night and see: the seat under my door is rolling 1000. Well I think lucky. And here I, fucking, remembered the words of my grandmother, when I was still 5-6 years old.The type of feature is this - people who have a lot of sorrow, who are not lucky in life, can concentrate all this sorrow in money (well how, I am not in magic). And what kind of if you take it, the pain will go away from them, and to you will pass...
YYY: O_o
XX: Yes, I don’t believe in signs at all, I’m offended by them. This is exactly what I remembered. And that's how I referred to it, I think, and fuck him.
YYY: And what about the community?? to
xxx: And I fucking sad that I did not take it and decided:"And do not get you to anyone!"
XX: Well, I told all the neighbors about this sign.
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYY))))
xxx: so it turned out that half of the neighbors had the same conversation with their grandmother =)
xxx: So here is the picture: a bunch of students are going to pin a thousand rubles, spit on it. A man from above passes by and sees it all. He watches for a moment what he thinks about and says:" Always, fool, I knew that this was the floor of the major. You have eaten, you wicked!and "
The whole floor was laughing xD

Barack Obama talked to Mexican archaeologist who died of swine flu
Even Chuck Norris can’t.

Today at lunch, as usual, decided to drink a cup of coffee... In a rush, he accidentally poured a little dry cream on the table, decided to stick - broke this bunch of lines into two strips (like a coconut). I only wanted to put all this matter in the urn, as the practitioners entered the door. I’m still wondering what they thought, but they apologized and said they might come later =)
or.

Remember when my grandmother called an ambulance?
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY Wasted at least?
Yes, alive, in a sober mind and a healthy memory. Yesterday, a call from the clinic asked to provide data for her hospital record. Lost, lost or something else.
On the question of the year of birth, the grandmother answered honestly: the second year of birth.
You won’t believe it! Today we came from a children's clinic and asked what kind of child did we have before these periods are not registered?
xxx: The sister's eyes were round when her mother clung to her with the question "and why didn't I say anything"?
Then take the grandmother and ask: What kind of child is this?
Doctors: Yeah, 2002 year of birth.
Grandmother with enthusiasm: is it who recently had a heart attack?
When they calmed down, the doctor replaced the date of birth in the medical record and now everything is fine :-)

Loneliness is when family has gone out for a week, and invite home absolutely no one.

With a red certificate. Medals are given. The unknown blue
I have red too. I am adequate too. Electric is married.
----------------------
You’re not good enough when you’re married 😉

If a man is looking for fame, he has not found everything else.