Freemasonry :

My brother was knocked in another fight. he has been walking with a bandage on his eye for a week, and communicating with someone in the innet, puts a smile at the end.

I watched all of Hannibal Lecter’s works during the day, and at night I dreamed of a new one... is it okay?

Managers of one of the supermarkets during lunch discuss possible New Year’s promotions.
Next year is the year of the Horse. I would like to suggest that anyone who comes here to ride a horse, make a 5% discount.)
I have four horses in my village, I can go for three.
Why only three?
The fourth is the reserve.
Dennis: Fuck, I’ll come to eat your lunch now, because I’ve ripped out my dish of oatmeal caviar, representing a reserve horse wrapped to the carriage.

So it turned out that the wife was supposed to come to court (it must be said a terribly disgusting and crazed uncle).
On this occasion, she was upset and scared, not knowing how to behave, this will happen. To encourage and instruct her, I begin the conversation:
I: Do you know what three rules are when communicating with authorities?
Mmmmmmmmm...
I: Well, there’s a song like that with Dad (meaning "Don’t Believe, Don’t Fear, Don’t Ask")
Q: "We are not caught"
Q: "The boy gay"?
Q: "People with disabilities?"
Q: "Simple movements"
I am...........

Invaluable - is the expression of the eyes of the seller, when in response to her request you give her a passport, and you are 29 years old)))

P/S/ As a new female insult: So that you never ask for a passport again)))

Let them ask. Everyone is good.)

I tried to extract VAT on the street from a hundred hooks, so from the green six, my grandfather came out and threw me a puzzle with uranium.

From the Auto Forum:
Svetlana: By your advice, I bought Opel Astra here six months ago. I say on garlic, she disappointed me.
Alexander: I am ashamed to ask - why did not hit the machine?
Svetlana: she is so gray so unnoticed in the stream
Victor: buy a fire car - you will be strongly distinguished...

A friend told the cat:
What, shit, falling down where you shouldn’t!! to

The comments of Habrus burn again:
In wartime, the cosinus angle can reach four. If very necessary.

Not a cosinus, but a pi.
Excuse me

And now imagine that even cosinus in wartime can get somewhere equal to 4. It is a disaster!

In wartime, the sinus angle can be blue. If the boss ordered.

Judging by trends, in our time the sinus of the angle can be condemned if it is not blue.

From Hubble, discussion of Curiosity

Zelenyikot: Water is life. The water in the solar system is in ruins, but life is only here.
On the one hand, the lifelessness of Mars is sad. Hundreds of years of people's hopes for close brothers and sisters are destroyed. But if you look at the prospect of exploring Mars, its sterility is good. There will be no moral contradictions about “Can we kill them to live for ourselves?” and Greenpeace will not bother.

Hyston: I fear there will be a Redpeace that will insist on preserving the natural radiation background.

xxx: Facebook is burned with a flame, and anger tweet, and the young programmer....
yyy: facepalm, fuck up, deadline and R.I.P. ( by

From Japan:

In my hometown, a tractorist from a heat truck twisted a hood to a pneumoniae. I turned off one lighthouse and drove cars to the district center at night. I imagine the number of bricks laid off by the opposing drivers of cars when they are met by a heat car with one lighthouse and whisper like a victim.
He was chosen by the head of the tractor.

I have the right to be an astronaut. Unfortunately, they do not take.
I have dreamed since childhood.

yyy: from places advised:Send SMS to the number XXXX with the text "I am a cosmonaut". The more SMS you send, the more astronaut you are.

XXX is MDA. I decided to buy sausages with a friend, well, eat a type. There is one near the subway. We bought, here we in the back of the seller says "And we have a stock! Good luck! and good luck! They will give!
And here we stretch a roll of toilet paper 65 meters!
Eat with understanding of risk.
Respect the copywriter!

In the capital subway will install machines, which will sell tickets for one trip not for 30 rubles, but for 30 seats.
A "ku!" will you have to talk about it?

From Twitter:
xxx: I went to the universe in the bus, stumbled my head at the ceiling so that my head is still cracking!(And that’s with my 175 centimeters...how do people with a height of 190 ride in them?! to
It hurts! it hurts to drive.

There are two things you shouldn’t forget if a bad fate forces you and your ex to go to the same place:
Don’t even look at him.
2 The Preservatives

The scream of the soul.

They say there are people in our country who work only eight hours a day.

Loudly lying! There are either those who work 5-6 hours, or those who work 12-25.

I work 7 hours. I work with harm and milk. There are so many things that you don’t have time to eat lunch. It is impossible to delay and complete the work, prohibit security equipment, leave it for another day - not in all cases it is really possible. So you have to rotate the entire working day like a turbine in a power plant. By the end of the day, the hands and legs fall off, the head shakes, the body in soap...
It is a pity that when choosing a profession, these minor details are not available to students.

We have a hard-core fitness club in the city with a brilliant slogan – “You’re tired of being fat and ugly?” Just be ugly!"

“When I returned from my first holiday in a sunny country, coming down in the subway on Monday, I was surprised at the cloudy, boring and hostile faces people have in the morning. It looked so wild. At the time when everyone smiles there, it is easy to get acquainted and get in touch with each other.

- I also want the subway to be like the ultra-all including the spa resort by the hotel