bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №97364
 02.05.2014
I work in a bank. Lots of strange clients. But recently pleased the lady of the 70s. His name is Peace, and his name is Love. Peaceful love is the dream of every man. So she herself said. I thought about her a long time...

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №97363
 02.05.2014
Added
<<In a month’s time the answer is improper operation! ))) Going to court, the trial is ongoing.
______

I so once lost memory to change suffered - the verdict was "mechanical damage (broken packaging)". > and >
I bought the floor weights, after a couple of months the upper platform was torn (the one that needs to get up). I read the reviews late - everyone has the same problem. Taken to the service center, a month investigated and issued - " a crack on the top cover (cover!) as a result of mechanical impact". Recognized as a non-guaranteed case.
Asked: how to use, without entering the "cover"- nothing understandable could say.
You are talking about water resistance.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №97362
 02.05.2014
> here is another box today watched
They showed a grandfather who at the age of 90 learned to read and write. He kept his illiteracy hidden all his life, even from his family.
> I studied for two years.
Then, in 96, he wrote a book (but not a reader) about the life of fishermen.
When he is called a writer, he rejects, says - I just study.
Imagine how a man can write without reading a single book! This is a different culture, there is no such thing anymore.

Have you tried programming?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №97361
 02.05.2014
<Claire> Will a guy get upset if they wear such a dress? % of picture %
<DreamForce> Depending on who to wear

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №97360
 02.05.2014
Zu: Temporarily, due to displacement and ruin, the robot vacuum cleaner and the cat’s bowl live in the same room, in the corridor.

Zu: Guess how such a neighborhood could end?

The dust cleaner tried. The dust was very hard. But the cacao proved to be tough and relentless. He was unable to cover the floor with a flat layer, but he made many artistic stripes and completely struck himself.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №97359
 02.05.2014
Discussion of the announcement in the newspaper: " I will help create a page in social networks, etc.". The comments:
I’ll help you open the phone book and turn on the phone.
I will learn to murmur.
I will show you how to sneeze quickly and efficiently.
A professional chicken. Call and register.
I will learn to scratch.
Q: Do you have pain in your side? Is the hand gone? A professional with thirty years of experience will train you to turn from side to side.
Zzz: Do you still not grind when you drink a spoonful of soup? Our training will help you to quickly and qualitatively learn how to scratch from all types of spots and circles!
Survive as God!

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №97358
 02.05.2014
Only after the defense of the diploma in the technical university understood that it is very reminiscent of a TV store - dressed in order, with a confident face tell a bunch of skeptics about the unthinkable merits of their unique invention)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №97357
 02.05.2014
xx: The main thing is not to start cleaning from a computer wash.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №97356
 02.05.2014
What joke here wrote that singing out loud helps from burning the mucous membranes when cleaning onions? You can only sing "Day of Victory", because "WITH TEARS IN YOUR EYES"'!!! to

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №97355
 02.05.2014
Wife (by browsing the websites of online shops):
I want a dress transformer.
I am :
You want a dress and you want a Chevrolet Camaro.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №97354
 02.05.2014
Looking into the water:
Three Knights on the Far Coasts (Mult)
Negative heroes are a conspiracy.
To the built company comes Kolyvan with the boyars and says that the Prince of Kiev has gone mad, but to madness appointed him as the chief ruler.
The confident prince decides to introduce Western traditions in Russia and by his inaction allows Kolyvan to attract the boyar to his side.
Julius, Prince, Grandma and Tychon organize a guerrilla movement.

PS: and the monument to the prince there demolished

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №97353
 02.05.2014
Today I had to go to work, at 9 a.m. the phone is ringing, the boss is ringing! I think it's time to go out, and no))) he says so tired voice, and let's not go to work today!? to

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №97352
 02.05.2014
A real advertisement. I sell the ears cheaply.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №97351
 02.05.2014
Nokia Lumia 520 stopped a bullet and rescued a Brazilian police officer

You are talking about the Nokia 3310.
Freakie: 3310 would shoot in response and detain the offenders

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №97350
 02.05.2014
As an option to:
Unfortunately, in our case, the opposite words are "... no blackjack and no prostitute", then you beat.

— — —
A clear pepper. What else is blackjack and, more importantly, the prostitutes in the blackjack? "With a lotto and a song and dance ensemble"!
and----
With the "crocodile" and the chopsticks :).

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №97349
 02.05.2014
Who can make a copy of a plastic card?
yyy: In the nearest ROVD clarify, they should have contacts of masters

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №97348
 02.05.2014
From the Women’s Forum:
"I don’t have time, I need a Time Mockup".
Some mushrooms madam has already eaten, I don't know only, mushrooms or pineapples...

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №97347
 02.05.2014
The main problem with the runnet is that everyone believes the quotes written. by V.I. Lenin
yyy: Post, under Lenin there was not yet a concept of "runet"
xxx: *facepalm.jpg*

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №97346
 02.05.2014
Wife bought shampoo, read: shampoo is not effective for genetic causes of hair loss and diseases.
What are the other causes of hair loss?
She: Well... eyes...

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №97345
 02.05.2014
Especially evil people remember even possible offenses.

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