A friend went to rest in Sochi, told a story
In short, in front of me lived a nice neighbor, with mommy. The neighbor's breasts are three, the face is cute, everything is cool. Eventually, I gathered forces to get to know. I knock on the door, she goes out, in a towel, apparently after a shower only. Well, I say, “Girl, I liked you very much, can I get to know you?”" she clothes on a cushion, one uncomfortable move, a towel on the floor, a second break, a whisper, and then her mom goes out of the pool. by Fuck. I was losing my stool and rejoicing at the same time...Imagine my eyes when a naked girl is standing, whispering, and her mother goes and sees all this...the next day they left. But now I can tell everyone that only when I try to get to know the bodies are dressed right in front of me.

In the "European Union"
A 50-year-old woman buys a memory card for a digital device. With her a girl aged 15-16. Well, the consultant showed them everything, established, broke the check. And here he asks:
I wonder, why do you need a map? You have one right now.
And it is filled.

and pause. The consultant looked at the other and said nothing to them!!! to
And they went away, happy with the purchase! ?

I wonder how many of them have such "filled" memory cards at home? ))))))))

To know a person well, you need to get drunk and sleep with him, although... with men enough to get drunk, and with girls... enough to sleep.

He is so tired of looking for his only one that his hands fall.
I am tired too :(

The doorbell at the threshold of Jehovah’s Witnesses
...
Do you want to ask the creator?
– Oh, Mom, here are Jehovah’s Witnesses, call the police?

What kind of plant is this on the Ave?
- This is "Rosyanka", it eats all kinds of bugs) home would be like this) The child is already large - it will not wean, and there are no cats.
Does it eat cats?
Well, if you break a little, probably yes.

Littlelynxx: The title and the picture reminded me of my first years in a psychiatric hospital – one of the first patients was a man who, among other things, claimed to be managing mosquitoes. When asked how he manages, he replied: “Well, how do I open the door and shout to them: ‘Go, Naaaahui!’”

Today at work in the afternoon the lights were turned off, my boss is sitting at the next table:
Head of OP! A quiet hour.
In five minutes I hear:
Head of HRRRRRRRRR...
The iron nerves.

If you want to successfully sell 2 million bottles of shit beer, write on the bottle that you have only produced 5 thousand.

Recognize that you are an insensitive, ungrateful animal!
M: Okay, I admit...
G: Please prove it!

Victor Tsoi was not only a rock musician, but also a predictor of the future!
In the film "The Needle" he said this phrase:
People in the world are divided into two categories: some are sitting on the tubes, and others need money.

He would know when he was right! Now the situation in our country is such that people are divided into 2 categories: Some are sitting on tubes, and others need money =)

When I was young, I was often taken for a boy. And one day it happened that my parents could not take me out of the room for a long time, and I had to sit in the company of two guards all night. The case is closer to 8, in the winter street... And then one guard says to another: “Eh, Sing, girls are missing...”. I, having decided that I was again taken for a boy, interfered in the conversation: "And I am not a girl?" To which the guards who bowed from the whistle replied: "Neeeet". I never understood at the time what was wrong with me, but in any case, I abandoned the artist.

From the news: "MGU students conducted research on the cold river".
As a result of research, the students concluded that the river is called so not by chance.

After rising at work to a new level, he decided to change his working style of clothing from grey to something lighter.
Gandalf and Yopta :)

A friend in Turkey recently rested, in a chic 5* hotel, predominantly populated by Russians and Germans, tells: after dinner, everyone is mostly gathered in the live music hall with spectators’ seats below and on the balconies... here is the orchestra going to perform, as suddenly the light is turned off throughout the hotel, 10 seconds of absolute silence, and somewhere from the darkness from the balcony the phrase is said very loudly with a male bass voice: BEY NEMCEV! Next follows the wild rust of the whole room)))

C is honey. The girl’s question:
Hi to! This is the question – when a white girl has lost her virginity with her first white man, and then after some time she marries another white man, can she then give birth to a dark child from the second man, if the first white man before her had sex with a black woman?

dReX) went out on the balcony, wanted things that dried off to remove, removed the cowards, family members, to shoot a lot more, the first thing that came to mind to put them on the head, dressed, remove the rest, and then I wanted to look and look on the sides.
dReX: Looked out, from the neighboring balcony looks a mummy, I am with cowards on my head, the sight is shaken, dark, she with the scream "Bl*t s*ka!" is removed and a knock is heard, then laughter, hysterical laughter.
dReX: I’m sitting there, I think I might get to go...

I remember when I was four years old, my father told me how his grandparents were beaten every day in the army for two weeks in a row. The picture before my eyes appeared quite clear, because there were a lot of grandparents on the street. And so, until the age of 10, I hated all the people over 60, because it was THEY who mocked my father at the time.

They run away from people, especially those who think that no one else lives on the planet besides them.
He walks out of the supermarket and... stops. He lives under the tender rays of the summer sun, squeezing his eyes, looking around, getting a cigarette, smoking. He is great, great and mighty. And to the left and to the right are mothers with children and those whose clocks are constantly ticking.
Someday I will stop simply telling them that somehow they need to go forward and possibly to the side, and go with the whole nose under the ass.
Be people!

Where the world goes :(
I just watched the picture:
In the cafe at the table, men sit and drink beer, and at the neighboring table, women 30 years old.
The men asked the women to be quieter. In response, they received a wave of outrage and a wagon of mate in full voice.