bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №147494
 20.12.2017
> The next Monday at work exactly these same people lively discussed,
What loans will they take to celebrate the New Year?

This is a special kind of fool. I have never met such people.
That people are so in debt...

[ + 41 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №147493
 20.12.2017
We are standing near the injury, waiting for our hockey player, bringing a woman. We ask what is there? I said my husband struck. A fracture of the nose, something with facial bones and so on. We think, well, the beast of the fox.
A man comes, well, a big one, asks like a wife, runs there and there, worries. We have him, well, you and the goat, can you write the puddle straight out? He said, not as it was. I go home, it is dark in the entrance, I think that the dams have been turned for the shit, someone is jumping out because of the turn and sparkle, I speak on reflexes, Ms. Mc on boxing and fucking. Who knew that this woman saw him around the corner of the house and decided to scare him. A guy under 100 kg, MS MC in boxing... Scare, Karl! Pizzas, what is in her head?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №147492
 20.12.2017
I warm up the car, a girl with a big puppy passes by, I think I need to make a compliment about her teeth, but at the same time I don’t get to the mouth, I come in, I open the window and ask: “Girl, your dad is not a dentist who works by chance?” She smiles, so I met my wife, her dad was her dentist.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №147491
 20.12.2017
in the universe for lectures. Third pair without interruption.
Iron has a carbon content of more than 3.14%. What, are you tired?
The students: Yes! Yes! Tired of!! to
Steel has a carbon content of less than 3.14%. We continue the lecture...

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №147490
 20.12.2017
I will be brief. I walk through the streets of the truck, towards the cover. There is a tinted SUV not of the Moscow region right on the turn, and next to a beautiful girl votes. And the only question: "Lend money for the evacuator, with a return!" At the offer of the trolley before the service she shrugged her face and said ride. Be careful. Offer help, not money, and everything will come to its place.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №147489
 20.12.2017
by Koziar

XXX: Going on a horse
YYY: Making the move of the Gypsies
xxx: * makes a move by dumbels*
WOW: *does move with rollers*
XHH: * makes the course of fifth class on the excursion*

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №147488
 20.12.2017
You are sitting in the work toilet. You read. I saw something funny on the phone, wanted to hide. And the sound of the photo on the whole toilet. A colleague in the neighboring cabin rjet mla)

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №147487
 20.12.2017
I talk alone with unanimate objects.
I am with the hammer.
I don’t have a hammer.
I do not have that either.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №147486
 20.12.2017
My name is Nicholas. I work in the Czech Republic. A new colleague came to work - Pavel (he is a local). At the end of the day, we had a conversation with him:

Q: Listen, I can’t remember your name, can I call you Ivan?

I : What? Can I call you Václav?

Q: Why Vaclav? This is not my name!

I didn’t even find anything to answer.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №147485
 20.12.2017
Conclusion 2: In the Middle Ages, people were a) much more ingenious b) much more flexible.

The third conclusion: p%sick people have always been.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №147484
 20.12.2017
The daughter. 2 the class. He comes from school, telling my wife.

D: Mom, we have an immortal girl in our class.

M is? ? to ? to

D: Every time she gets a pair, she says, “Mommy will kill me! “” The next morning, she comes alive.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №147483
 20.12.2017
We were in the cafe. I came across the menu for the salad "Andrei Lukin". I asked the waitress who the dish was named for.
"In honour of Andrei Lukin", the girl answered honestly.

[ + 14 - ] Comment quote №147482
 20.12.2017
The boyfriend was excited by the pig. As if he was isolated in his own house behind a high fence.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №147481
 20.12.2017
Comrade works in the field of public transportation, says:

I go to the box office, the cashier asks me if I understand the phones?
I’m not a professional, but I did my own.
What does she give me my iPhone in the test fell, what do I have now?
I say the shit knows it, but the march of the charlotte=)"

[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №147480
 20.12.2017
Briefly about politics
We rarely talk about politics in our working group. But here took a young, active and dedicated assistant accountant. The woman immediately stated that she fully shares the views of the opposition, especially in the fight against corruption. But the desire to defeat corruption does not prevent her from constantly calling all of her acquaintances and little acquaintances on the subject - how to go out to one or another teacher, in order to place a bill or exam (she is an out-of-the-job), and she carries office goods home from the office - and what? The company is not impoverished...

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №147479
 20.12.2017
Do you not think that a girl, having a relationship, can communicate with someone in a purely friendly way and even go somewhere together, while not having the slightest desire to sleep with that friend or leave her guy and start dating him? Do you really think that if I kindly respond to your initiative of friendly dialogue, it means that I am burning with the desire to sleep with you? And, in the end, why, if I say to your compliments in direct text that I already have a relationship, do you not tie this information on your mouth and do not stop thinking about me in a romantic way?

Girl be calm. Some male individuals perceive girls exclusively as a vagina on their legs, and any “communication” exclusively as a way to get from the vagina what it is intended for – sex. They usually communicate with each other. It is very unfortunate that such individuals successfully mimic ordinary people, but it remains only to accept this. As a prevention on the Internet, you can put a male nick and avatar and talk about yourself, hiding the floor... if you want to be obscured with it.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №147478
 20.12.2017
- In my opinion, for the Russian-speaking ear, the difference is whether you drink tea from armuda or from kambarik.

by Zy. "Russian-speaking ear" - what is the wording, right?! to

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №147477
 20.12.2017
It’s hard... it’s hard... It’s hard to find black socks in a dark room if they don’t smell!

[ + 17 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №147476
 20.12.2017
LokkyTM: I think those people who bought a bitch, say, in 2010, and then sold it in 2013, when it jumped to $30 a piece, made a good profit. Then it made sense to buy and sell, and the money to invest in something more real, say, in real estate.

Kitty in Donetsk.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №147475
 20.12.2017
And a huge Maine Coon cat, brutal and vicious, contrary to the assurances, first terrorizes the owners, and then one day escapes. His first victim is a little girl, the daughter of the neighbors, who ran out to the staircase and saw the "kiss". A disguised face, a dozen operations, vision is no longer returned.

God, it’s so fat that you can fry potatoes! Maine Coon is a domestic cat. Very good cat. Theoretically, it can be brought to an unconscious state. Like any domestic cat, but it will be more difficult. The painter obviously suffers from a phobia of pets and cats only seen from a distance. Nothing, I have an idiotic phobia - but I live somehow, I do not require to send them out for the 101st kilometer.

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