bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 56 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №20590
 20.09.2009
VKontakte advertisements, section of dating:

I am going to meet a tra-programmer in order to get married. I approve: sitting 24 hours a day on the Internet, occupying all the available space under the glands, crumbs on the beard and keyboard, red eyes, spacious speeches about programming and so on.
We guarantee you to eat delicious and regularly. cleaning without moving anything from its place. Go on request. Ability to listen to any oral trends. Moral support and support. Shoulder and neck massage. Silently to approve. The story of compiling the nucleus. and so on.

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №20589
 20.09.2009
Discussion of audiences

How can anyone believe in such a shit?! You also write that the Germans invented it during the war, for victory... so why didn’t they compose music that made you crazy or killed you right away?? to

What about Tokio Hotel?? to

[ + 79 - ] Comment quote №20588
 20.09.2009
The story is real, not copywriting.
Walking in the south along the coastline, a couple was ahead: a guy (P) a clear metallist, i.e. a kitsuh, a bandana, chains and other attributes. The girl (D) was easier, but also tried not to lag behind the faithful. I heard their conversation:
In order to have money in the house, you have to live according to Feng Shui.
To have money in the house, you have to work.
Respect to you man =)

[ + 51 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №20587
 20.09.2009
X: We live with a young man and he is roughly older than me.
Y: Okay, this is 10 times.You live in a vampire??? O_O

[ + 99 - ] Comment quote №20586
 20.09.2009
Listening to the shit is closed.
Ah, I would go back 12 years, find your mother and give her condoms.

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №20585
 20.09.2009
Taxi drivers do not know the rules. I took a taxi today, so the driver never broke the rules. The speed did not exceed. long thought about such strange behavior for the taxi driver, until on the lighting he was equal. On the passenger seat was a haishnik in full uniform.

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №20584
 20.09.2009
I don’t like his mom, I don’t know why!!!What should I do? how can I get her?! to
Jexx: in the back, with a scarf!and :)

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №20583
 20.09.2009
SMS from my sister:
I woke up from the fact that someone was shaking my bed, then realized it was an earthquake and rested.

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №20582
 20.09.2009
from the forum.
What is the maximum amount of object entering the vagina?
YYY: I have 30 tons of press covered with this body at work.

[ + 74 - ] Comment quote №20581
 20.09.2009
Have a good mood 😉
Updated 176 days ago
To make me so dumb!

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №20580
 20.09.2009
Decided to play with the faithful in bed in something sweet and good. In fact, they were offered an idea with crumbs crushed (well, like just smashing, slicing, nothing like that).
Fifteen minutes later, he said, “Sun, I’ve eaten.” There is no power... Will you make me a minet?"
And then you ask why he has a pinch on his horn and a swollen ear.

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №20579
 20.09.2009
In the metro...
I stand, look in front of the door... the scene... the door opens... a couple of 18 years, after 7-8 seconds after opening the door, walked into the door, stumbling, falling, breaking the nose... then I hear: "I entered, fuck, with a puddle, fuck... "

[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №20578
 20.09.2009
Signs of betrayal:

I came home and it smelled like gasoline. I was riding with my mistress, and in order to smell the smell of gasoline, I washed my hands and soaked my lunch!
2nd In the neck (or other part of the body) scratched wound or scratches! It was a straw, and he struck him with either a sparkle paper or bricks beaten, anything else!

There are, of course, cases that actually accidentally gasoline poured on itself and injured accidentally! Sometimes these moments are worth paying attention.

--------------------
The second point is just a gesture, Rambo is just resting.

[ + 86 - ] Comment quote №20577
 20.09.2009
by KMP
Yesterday afternoon, I got drunk with a friend and lost. Now I have to talk about myself only on average for a week. Shoot me please.

Fuck you Fury?

[ + 61 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №20576
 20.09.2009
Rukenau: It is true. Do you send everyone to the nurses, and doctors too?
I was on the train yesterday and slept on my upper shelf. I wake up, and there down there are two companions talking about themselves. One of them, a doctor, consults with a colleague about who to recruit to the new medical center.
- Mar-Vanna - she is the last fox, no doctor, but how she knows how to upset the patient. Immediately a fifth of directions for tests and ultrasound, and all of them are scratched, but no one recovers to the end, as he came to her, and goes, then to be treated, then to be checked. And the sick love her at the same time, and acquaintances are advised...
Or here is Ludochka, five years of experience, a wonderful specialist, but after all, she is almost all recovering. She immediately diagnosed correctly, the course of treatment, and all, the patient is healthy. No longer comes to her.
And they found that for the Mar-Vanna medical center is 300% more useful, because it brings more money. They joined her candidacy.

[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №20575
 20.09.2009
to this:
to this:

I was told by all the Russian language teachers that the only word in
In Russian, it is written with two soft characters, and this is the word "seld", here
I grew up and learned one more thing – drunk, it’s been ten years and now I’m drunk.
I know one more...
_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Fuck... Which?! to
________

Here’s every fifth quotation about pelmeni... is it so hard to guess? =) is

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №20574
 20.09.2009
Everyone who got a message from me: "give me, please, please, please, let’s have sex" – that’s spam. If you agree, write in person.

[ + 64 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №20573
 20.09.2009
A description of the slides:
The opposite slugs may seem even more disgusting if they learn how they reproduce. These creatures have both male and female genitals. When two slugs meet, each tries to bite the genital organ of the other. The one who succeeds becomes the dad and the other slime becomes the mother, respectively.

Dance of Love O_O

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №20572
 20.09.2009
British scientists have found that British scientists are stupid to do...

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №20571
 20.09.2009
Did you feed the dog?
YYY: I asked, she replied that she was young.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna