I bought a flash for 8 gigs, asked how much the video will fit there? I say 8 gigs. He asks, what about time? There is a man next to you, that’s important. I answer, let’s take a three-litre jar, how much beer will fit there? He says 3 liters... I ask, what about the time? He has a stupor. And the man next to him, as he roared, says this is the best comparison he has ever heard.

We had a very funny psychiatrist. Aunt Ahovo loved her work, and all of our classes were conducted with great enthusiasm.

Once in practice she joyfully said: Today we have an interesting patient! Let us communicate with him!

She brought out of the chamber a tiny little man, somewhere 160 height, kil 50. He sat next to us on a chair. They began to ask:

Sasha, why are you here?

I don’t want to go to a prison psychic.

And why?

My mom and sister said it was bad.

Why did my mother and sister get there?

They killed people, their voices told them.

The voices talk to me too, so I came here.

Who is talking to you?

Three beautiful girls from space.

What are they saying?

The man silently wrapped us in the eyes.

I want to kill you all, but I don’t listen, I don’t want to go to a prison psychic... bad there.

I had the shortest date. I come, I get out of the car, I see a woman standing 15 years older than me, very wide in my shoulders, and says, "I am a woman simple. I am a former athlete, throwing the core. I don’t go to bed with everyone. Only the one who meets my condition. My condition is simple: you now pull out a member and put it in my hand. He will shut down my hand, let us go to me, he will not shut down, and hope not.” And stretches a lap, the size of a small bowl. I immediately said, "Well what you, what you, I will not close, I will probably go," and retired.

Today I will tell you how I met the first nest in my life.

A story about kindergarten, many physiological details.



Larisa Tychovna was a babysitter in my group and sometimes beat me with a folded jump. In general, she didn’t touch me very often, I was quite a quiet obedient child, more often the boys stood barefoot on the cold floor in the toilet during the quiet hour, well, or the girls were fed with a bowl of soup so that they blew in plates, and they were then fed again with the same. Ordinary kindergarten.



Definitely now they will write to me that you did not say anything to anyone, I would... Well, how would we think that everything is okay, we were brought to the kindergarten of mom and dad, and they know exactly how and what to do. So it's right that Tychovna periodically squeezes someone in a beet salad, gently squeezes a dishwasher on his face, or promises to all to remove the cowards from the child.



Once Larisa Tychovna became seriously angry and took off the cowards in front of everyone from some little insomnia.

The episode struck me and I told my mom everything. Mom cautiously asked me about Tivovna and cried, in the evening Dad promised to put the heart of the babysitter in our living room on the carpet.



The next day we went to the head, she told us that this was the first complaint, promised to resolve soon and sent me to the group.

Further, I remember only that I was not allowed to go to the toilet, for some reason, it was important for me to get rid of it, and better to get rid of it. She whispered to the children not to play with "this snake", but they seemed to play anyway, I don't remember the discomfort about this, but sometimes I wanted to suck desperately. The number of insults increased, but the handwriting stopped.



I don’t know how long this would last, but the case helped.

One day my dad came to me and found that five children were sitting in a group and playing, and there was no teacher or babysitter. He dressed me and took me home.

At home, he told his mother the situation, that he was completely offhelied, the children were left alone. My mother ran to the garden.



She went into the group with the parents of another boy and asked loudly:

So, where is my child?

Panic began, the educator and Tychovna ran down the stairs, then the nurse and the head run with them. Called the militia.

The police arrived, guessed to call us home, the child was "found", but a report was sent to the Reno.

Rono began the inspection, other children were questioned, a lot of shit came out, and with this muddy stream the headmaster, educator and Larisa Tychovna was forever wiped out of my life.

A country in which the price of a commodity is hit at the factory when it is manufactured is an example of stability and confidence in tomorrow. Until the idiots control it.

The True Romance

A few years ago, a guy worked with me, despite the age of a little over fifty, he is still a guy.
He is a real adult man, but in terms of energy a young man, and in terms of feeling and appearance a 30-year-old guy.
I had an exacerbated “zož” phase (healthy lifestyle) and we started running together once or twice a week after work.
It turned out that Stefan, which is how he is called, Ironman (Iron Man). This means that he swam, ran, cycled a lot of kilometers in a very short time and won this title. At the time of our approximation, he was preparing for a “running” of 160 kilometers in less than 24 hours. Now, dear reader or listener, Stefan has already done this and probably now has the title "Titanman". Even if he doesn’t have that title, he deserves it.

One day we talked about who spent the weekend. There was a marathon in Berlin and I asked him if Stefan participated in it. The answer surprised me, Stefan said no and smiled, which caused my sincere surprise. I thought he was participating in all marathons, which is true. But then I understood his smile.
Stefan's wife enrolled in this marathon, but for some reason did not receive standard support: water bottles or isotonic, tonic drinks at certain stages of the race, checkpoints.
Without this support, it is harder to escape. I did not run a marathon (42,195 km).But I think so much!
As an option, you can run constantly with a supply of water, and this is a tangible gain in weight, which does not add clutter and ease to the runner.

Stefan solved the problem.
But how...
He ran parallel to the official route, because as a non-marathon participant he had no right to run the marathon route. He had a bag with drinks for his wife. He had to run around spectators, sometimes to make large runs, as the nearest streets were blocked by police, and these guys did not miss a guy running around a marathon and also with a bag weighing several kilograms.
Plus, he had to be on checkpoints at least faster than his wife, to explain to the organizers every time why he is here, encourage his wife, give her a drink and run on.

In the end, she ran the whole marathon.
This was her first marathon.

Stefan ran a half time longer.

Opening the door of the car, passing forward, moving the chair and other manifestations of care for a woman, of course, is good and in my eyes important, but what Stefan did stands at a very different level of care for his partner.
I was upset when I heard his story about how he spent those weekends.
Happy and long years together, Stefan!

In Moscow, a new airport will be built, which will serve only officials.
He will be called Darmoedovo.