The summer. The heat. Mother (M), I and my younger sister (C) 5 years back from the beach a short way - that is, climb right on the slope of the mountain, along a rocky stone trail. It’s easy and fun down there.

M is all! I can’t wash that bag anymore.

I take the bag, I take the bag. Really unrealistically heavy. We joked all the way that there was a valley in it.

We get to the “base”, I break out the bag, and there... really a stone! Unclean as such. Wrapped in the towel.

I am : Sister! Did you put a stone here? ! to

A: It was the wind! I put stuff on...

I: Why did I wrap him? ! to

Well, tomorrow there will be wind too! This is our stone!

One day we went to our distant relatives for a wedding. My brother was then unmarried, and for some reason his freedom did not give peace to women, our relatives. But Artem developed an antidote to encouraging him to introduce him to the girl, rightly believing that he himself could find a couple, and stumbled over attempts to marry him.

In general, we came to the wedding, and plant Artem next to a girl whose figure resembles a monument (kg 150). The girl begins on the move to build eyes on my cousin, who does not react but understands that the evening was lost to him.

The girl, in an attempt to capture Theme’s attention and hint that Thema should take care of her:

Young man, could you do me a favor?

Arthem and Hmuro:

Just a ritual.



The flirt is over.

In the recent past, I worked in an internet provider, building networks for them.

One day, the chief decided that the construction department was building slowly and silly.

In this regard - appointed us "an effective manager who will ride with us on the facilities and monitor the work"

The manager was a 20-year-old girl who did not see the gestures and did not hold the cable in her hand.

We arrive on the first day, i.e. at the object.

The basement is dirty, dirty, stinking.

We ask the girl, will you go there with us?

Yes, he says, I need to monitor your work!

So go, we’ll collect the equipment.

is leaving.

Within a minute, the top and whisper, (the bullet flies out)

There is bomb!

And what?

He is naked!

Well and what?

He has a whisper!

No more “effective managers” were sent to us.

Picture in the supermarket at the shelf with children's food.

The actors are a father with a son, about a year.

Papanya takes one puddle in the "deepacks" gives to the son - that squeezes from the pack, returns to the father, that closes, puts in place, with the second they do the same thing) Here the mommy runs - "You are a fuck? " (I thought aggressive, but adequate) - closes the pie and puts on the shelf with the words - "It's cold! "

I had the idea of taking my wife to the corporate, and this is the problem - she has all my humility, does not want to go :) In the end, I persuaded:



I am I, I am my wife

You are okay, go on!

No, I will not go! Everyone will be without wives, but you and your wife.

I’m okay, I’ll tell everyone to come with their wives!

How many people will there be? And you already have a restaurant ordered for a certain number of people...

I - and there will be no problems, Semenich has already told me that his wife will definitely not come, and the other wives do not!

How are there no wives? Are all the others straight? All of all?

I am – all the others are women!



I went :)))

The main thing is that in the new year the black stripes of the old year are not white.

“Miracle in the feathers.” (The New Year’s Story )

“In a white coat with a bloody cloth, with a cheerful cavalry walk.”
by M.A. Bulgakov

When the daughter was studying at the university, and the money was as usual tight, they and their girlfriend decided to organize a congratulatory event for the New Year.
If anyone does not know, then in the pre-New Year hours with Santa Claus tension, everyone lacks.
With Snowmen, of course, too, but it was so that the gifts to the children from their bag is always distributed by Santa Claus.
And in every family where there are children, on December 31, from evening to midnight, children dream of a miracle, waiting for the arrival of Santa and Snowball with gifts.

The Santa Claus costume was made well.
It was the white coat "with a bloody cloth" from the prosecutor's suit, and became the basis of Santa Claus' dress.
(Everything that resembled the dress of Santa Claus was dismantled in the theater before them.)

After some finishing, covered with frosty patterns of a sky-blue piece with the addition of other attributes, Santa's decor looked stylish and shopping rich.
In the same theater, where the prosecutor's suit was rented, neither the guard nor the sanitary was found for the role of the main character. Convinced for a couple of bottles with a white bonus, and accepted into their gang.

Gave an advertisement in the newspaper, gathered orders, talked by phone with the parents of the children. We scheduled a minute route of transportation around the city with a reserve of time for unforeseen circumstances. I ordered a taxi.
The Snowmen costume.

Here they were waiting for.
No matter how hard they tried, no matter where they looked, but they never managed to get the Snowmen costume. The situation was critical.
The case saved the situation. A friend recalled that after the corporative, which was with her father the day before, a dozen two penguin costumes were taken home to them for temporary storage.

In the pre-New Year days, we all live in anticipation of a miracle. Miracles sometimes happen unexpectedly.

The appearance at the door of the apartment of Santa Claus with two penguins, at first the parents caused some shock. But Santa's roaring bass and incredible loading to the fun of the two Penguins, supported by jokes and additions, every time produced magic.
Parents also suddenly began to feel like little children. Together with their children, they read poems from the chair, fought in jokes and exchanged prizes, led chords and sang songs, and together with the congratulators were angry in the puppy enthusiasm of each other.

The noise and laughter of the neighbors looked around the venue, some with children.
They also participated in the game, exchanged gifts and homemade cakes.

And nobody whispered that penguins lived on another pole.
New Year’s Day is a celebration throughout the world.

Everyone with the next!
* * * *

The funniest question is, “When are you getting married?” This was stated by the correspondent of the National Media Group, headed by Alina Kabaeva.