Xxx: We once rested with the guys in the sauna. I am already quite in the food, in principle like everything and wanted us female affection and crazy sex. Called the lady of easy social responsibility, the essence of the love priests came to work. After a little drink and discussing with the ladies plans for the future, I decided to settle with one of the nymphs in a specially designed room. Everything went as if wonderfully, we each other, I ticked the fibers eë soul with her dignity from the inside, she gently and sensually hugged my pelvis with her hips, I gently kissed her ear and neck making frictional movements, my right hand massaged eë a gentle elastic soft chest, then I slowly passed my hand to the hips and touched the elastic butt with my palm. She stoned, I liked it, I began to accelerate frictional movements, eë the stone began to sound louder and exciting, I felt the heat of eë the body, the smell of eë magnificent as the Niagara Falls hair intensified, it awakened in me the desire to absorb eë completely. Alcohol and passion confused my thoughts. At that moment I did not exist in this world, I was completely immersed in the soul and thoughts of the eë world. Suddenly, I was returned to this reality by a thin, penetrating and unexpected voice of a nymph like a summer thunderstorm: - Yes!!! Make me hurt!!! to

I was overwhelmed by panic, all I could do with my penis I already did, deeper I could no longer. I understood that the moment of ecstasy is going away, I need to do something urgently, shake my chest - no, it can leave an unpleasant mark on a beautiful body, shake my buttocks - no, it's childish, shake but the pope didn't have the opportunity because of the posture, to make a "sleeve" on the nose. It sounded eë a gentle voice like lightning after thunder. Time passed, I was in panic, alcohol and blood pulse beat me in the head... I ticked my finger into her right eye... – Aai!!! Fuck the fool!! I heard the disappointed voice of a nymph in the whole sauna.

Xxx: I was going to make an offer to a girl. I chose the ring. Naturally, I was very worried. I’ve been choosing for a long time and finally I liked one thing. I say, this is what I take. Next dialogue, I - I, PS - the salesman of the salon:

I: This is what I take!

PS: Well, they are paired, the second ring of what size?

I: Oh, I have enough of one.

PS: Usually, two take at once to be the same.

I: This is a strange fashion, why does it have two identical rings? We’ll come and choose what she likes.

PS: Look for yourself, this is rarely the case. Better take it right away (looking carefully at my hands).

I: Well, I don’t know... Two rings are somehow too bold, I’m not sure what the girl will appreciate. I will take one.

I took the ring and went to make an offer. Everything went well. And then, two days later, the bride says to me, “Why don’t you wear your own ring?”

The ring. his own. the couples. It comes to me here...

We arrived two hours before the opening. He bite his nails while waiting. Fortunately, it turned out that the seller understood which league I was from and put off the ring for me, although this is prohibited by the rules, and still waited until I finally got to me.

xxx: I went to the pharmacy before closing, there was a tired provider on the box, asked for a package of condoms. I received in response:

What do you have, big or small?

I was a little confused, as the girl was pretty nice, but not to hit the dirt in the face proudly said:

The middle!

She looked at me and replied emotionally:

A large pack of 12 pieces or a small 3 pieces.

Then I realized that I was slapping.

The good has almost defeated the evil, but tolerance has passed to the side of evil.

The theme of the lecture is “New York – the city of contrasts”.
I was not in New York.
And where were you?
In Istanbul, in Marseille
“Please, Istanbul is a city of contrasts, we will post an announcement.”

From some “contrasts” it remains only to shrink...

McCloskey is a family couple of wealthy elderly (61 and 63 years old) lawyers from St. Louis, who became famous last summer (28 June 2020).
A crowd of Black Lives Matters supporters went to siege the house of mayor St. Lewis, who dared to throw something they didn’t like. Police blocked the streets leading to the mayor’s residence. Then these “beautiful people” broke the gates of the mansion of McCloski (they have their OWN STREET) to pass through their private possessions to the mayor’s house. A fearless couple came out to meet them – he with the AR15 (civil analogue of the M16 assault rifle), she – with a gun. BLM racked up, retreated and sued them for “mashing up weapons.”
On June 17, 2021, the court sentenced the wife to a fine of $2,000, and the husband to a fine of $750. There was an offer to sell the weapons to a charity (I am sure the historic assault rifle would have been bought for good money), but the judge ordered the confiscated weapons to be released “under the press.”

And now, in my opinion, it is funny. The McCloskey family are not criminals, and are convicted of “misdemeanor,” not “crime.” Therefore, nothing prevents them from buying a new rifle in exchange for the selected one. What they did today.

Indeed, “this country was not called Honduras.”

Today you have no antibodies, and tomorrow you want NATO!

Xxx: When the red was burning, I accidentally shrugged my leg, and the guy stuck in the phone almost started crossing the road.



Yyy: The Perfect Crime

Xxx: years edak at 10 sat at home one watched cartoons. I drank juice from a heavy cup of fascia. The juice quickly ended, I sit and pull the remnants on the dough. Here, the circle was squeezed to the face. I thought, what if I pulled the air even harder? He did so. I sit and pull in the air with my mouth, I exhale with my nose. The bowl was sucked and held for forty minutes, while I stuck in the bowl.

The multics ended, exhaled with his mouth, the bowl fell away. I walk from the room to the kitchen through the hallway... I look at myself in the mirror and see that I have a huge, perfectly round, purple bleach on my half-face, below my nose, like the hammer of Homer Simpson.

In the evening, of course, I got a bullshit from my mother, and my father laughed to the heck.

I was 16 years old then. On the eve of Easter, my father went to work at night and asked me to paint eggs. I have never done this before and decided to look at the online instruction. The instructions were approximately as follows: “Driven the paint in the glass, drop the eggs there, wait five minutes, ready.”

Having done everything clearly by points, having laid the colorful eggs around the cushion, I went to bed proud of myself.

In the morning, the father returns, calls to the table, we beat eggs on each other and one is scattered. When my father asked me, “Did you cook the eggs?” I replied, “No, it wasn’t in the instructions.”

My brother and I have a 2 year difference. As a child, they were constantly fighting and sharing everything.

My parents left, I am 8 years old, he is 10. We made a caramel from sugar. They poured a kilo of sugar into the pot, melted it to a liquid state, and then the brother drops his finger into it in order to try. He begins to cry wildly because of the burn. But I’m not a bad guy, I push him up with words—why are you the first? I put my finger there...

Xxx: It was over ten years ago when microwaves just appeared and gained popularity. My parents for the new year, Santa Claus, pulled a microwave... New, white, beautiful and not just what, but the hollow LG) used it with great pleasure, as the grandfather said "THING".



Years went by, we children have grown up, began to leave the parent's house and when it was my turn (I was the last one) to leave the nest, my mother gave me this microwave, saying, "take a son, you need it, but a hot drink, and my dad and I will live without her, and there repair and buy a new one." And I am, of course, happy, single man, young man, in a separate apartment - the microwave is straight, the devil's machine, which replaces the cook)



Years went by, I grew up having a girl, a cat, moved to her in an apartment (of course, I took the microwave with me). Then I opened my office and thought what office would be without a microwave? I need people to somehow warm up food and pulled my old man into the office, and we and the girl bought a new one.



Years went by, my girl and I broke up. My office has already moved 3 times... and as if the moment of my move from the house of the girl back to myself had come) And it was decided to buy a new office - the customers are still going, and there is such a troubled old man standing heating food.



And since I moved to myself, so as not to buy 2 microwaves, I took the old woman home, let me live)



Years went by - I had a new passion, I did a major repair in the apartment, my favorite old cat has died.



And here at some point, when the girl washed the microwave washing - it's time to buy a new one, how much you can? She accidentally hit the screen with a nail and something started to go away.

It became interesting, we turned it and looked at it, we began to try to remove the pimples, and they became more and more, and at some point it succeeded and it turned out that we began to shoot the protective film of his mother.

The microwave at the time was more than 20 years old and we only noticed this film and then accidentally))

After the removal - she was as younger, became as new, fresh, white as if just bought) The desire to buy a new fell instantly and we continued to use it.



Years went by... Girls are changing, cats are dying, my brothers’ children are already in 6-7 classes, apartments are changing, the trees that we planted as boys are already giving full fruit – and my old man is still cheering and blinking every evening with his already a little dull lamp, heating up dinner for me.



Yyy: I’ve read the comment so far, your microwave has become like my native.