bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №144158
 23.08.2017
Oh, that the naked Jiggura dreamed!and "

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №144157
 23.08.2017
Discussion on the news hub that in the basement of a former NASA employee found a computer of the 1960s:

by 111:
I wonder how they got into the basement if they can’t be pulled out. At the stage of construction?
Are they capable of working?

by 222:
Most likely they got into the basement through a partial dismantling of the structures of the house (roofs/coverings or walls), and do the same to get them back, most likely, the current owners do not want.

and 333:
Very simply, by removing the modules from the chassis, dragging into the house separately and assembling back. This is almost a standard 19/21 inch design.

by 444:
Why can’t we pull it out the same way?

by 555:
because the engineer "starper" took, and found fashionable modern hipsters.
There is nothing in their moles about assembly.

by 666:
It’s hard to wear something when your hand is busy.

by 777:
Driving on a gyroscope is uncomfortable.

by 888:
Spinner is constantly distracting.

by 999:
Therefore, it is better to take a photography session on the locograph.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №144156
 23.08.2017
The director is Todd Phillips, the producer of the famous comedy "The Boy in Vegas" (Hangover).
They wake up on the roof of Wayne's estate, Joker, Harley, Penguin and the Mysterious Man and realize that while drunk they fuck Batman.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №144155
 23.08.2017
ZZZ: "Did your spouse abuse alcohol? No, he did not drink at all. Well, it happened, horrifying alcohol..."
Zzz: So if you want to see the real, without ornaments, life of a significant part of the Russians - go to the courts for all domestic murders. There you will be met when he drinks, came up to us through the balcony and bled there, then I took a tail and went to talk peacefully with them, and also I raise two children, a salary of eight thousand.
Zzzz is unforgettable.
zzz: And I do not understand: how, why, by what means can these blisters drink around the clock? I, a respected journalist, can’t afford it – and they can!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №144154
 23.08.2017
Womchik Alexeyeff
I have a big wedding today. Even this happens.

The Later:
When was it opal?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №144153
 23.08.2017
Catherine: Listen, Van, I missed the label from my desk somewhere.:( is
Ivan: Look at the work floor - it may have fallen.)

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №144152
 23.08.2017
Do you hear the cotton on the door? It was a security technique, and she just went in the ass.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №144151
 23.08.2017
The Ministry of Emergency Affairs in Rostov-on-Don said that the cause of the fire, which burned 45 houses, was the use of a foreign source of fire. In short, it was a dragon.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №144150
 23.08.2017

to this:

I work as an English reporter.

Thank you for not being Russian. Hello from "I work as a doctor"

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №144149
 23.08.2017
Remember the famous "chicken with the taste of bread"?
So, chew, meet - "Sucks with the taste of French baguette"!

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №144148
 23.08.2017
What’s the problem with the cardigan? Loss, for example, arose as leather pants for military uniforms, exclusively male, naturally, and in modern usage you can imagine losses made of natural leather, and why on a male?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №144147
 23.08.2017
>> A normal shirt is one that opens the trousers in a sitting position or bending. All that is longer is for monks. The pants are for lesbians.

Here and walk alone in shorts in the rain and wind. You’re not a monk to wear long pants, right?

Yes, he has long pants or short. The main thing is to see the cowards.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №144146
 23.08.2017
came to eat. The establishment is not the coolest, but with a claim. In the bathroom everything shines and type of design. For the hands is not a dryer or there paper wipes, but small soft one-time towels. True, MJ is not separated, only one sham, and it turned out to be busy. While I wrapped the pumpkin in a stupor, a luxurious madam floated out of the mansion, pulled a body past me, squeezed in the cracks between the tiles, and went into the hall, irrigated with a pound of contempt and the smell of an expensive perfume on top of the obsolete smell of natural origin.

by Fuck! Entering, he found a fresh formation on the water surface, shamefully covered with a handful of towels. Having completed the planned, he went into the room.

I see, in the far corner, the lady in the company. I approached and said, “Don’t worry! I am following you!” He left for his table.

You would see their roots! :)

In general, if I suddenly disappear, in my death I ask to blame the Shrek O.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №144145
 23.08.2017
According to the Inspectorate of Labor Protection:

An employee died as a result of an accident. The insurance company has allocated 1 million to the relatives of the deceased rubles under the insurance contract.

He has an ex-wife with whom he has not lived for eight years, but has never divorced. And there is a fellow resident who has already given birth to one child and at the time of the death of the civil husband was pregnant with the second.

I don’t think it makes sense to explain who got the most of the money.

That is all. Be responsible for issuing documents, and don’t say, “This is just a stamp in the passport!”

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №144144
 23.08.2017
xxx quotes the headline of the news: "In the Moscow Zoo for the first time in 30 years appeared beemot"
What anxiety they had!

YYY: It was they who cleaned up and found it!

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №144143
 23.08.2017
> before this it was not necessary to repeat "se-se-se", because now the Russian language has been filled with such verbs as "be beautiful", "be wise" and even "learn".

About the advantages of the Mnemonic Rules over the Official Rules: If they tried to understand what question to ask for the word “teacher” – “what do you do” or “what do you do”, they would quickly realize that none of them is suitable. Well, and those who confuse question with answer and joyfully write "she teaches!!!" - you can immediately merge into the special class to the rest of the cretins, in whom "the earthworm eats the earth, the rushing snake eats the grass".

And in general, of course, it is sad that they are trained to keep the pattern in their heads until the check, to mindlessly scratch it off and joyfully return to throwing birds into pigs.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №144142
 23.08.2017
SeVeR: A timely unwashed smoothing board automatically turns into an additional magazine table.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №144141
 23.08.2017
My girlfriend talked and cried. lived in the village. Season of Wreckage. One balloon gave a crack, she hanged it on the chin. The balloon is alive.
constantly changes the dislocation, the one at the end of the fence, the other at the other.I don't understand, he says what it is, and then it came. They will be pleased, they will catch, and while they reach the end of the fence, they will see that with a crack, they hang back, only elsewhere.So the whole village looked at this balloon and left it alone.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №144140
 23.08.2017
xxx: Although I would read a mathematical fanfic from yyy.
YYY is mathematical? I know that two plus two will be four. Or something like that.
xxx: yyy, I think you can even write a fanfic :D
yyy: A tragic story about how two plus two is not equal to four.
Yyy: With murders and sex.
zzz: this is "1984".

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №144139
 23.08.2017
They found each other – a woman without queries and a man without ambitions.

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