bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №57796
 24.12.2011
I saw this picture in the cafe today: there are three people sitting - a boy and two girls. One with dredds, in cedds, a non-dimensional jacket and in jeans. The second is all so careful - in a sweater, with a grip to the ass, in the coat and on the heels.
In general, the guy has gone somewhere and the second one asks the first so with a hint:
Do you not fear that he will leave you?
He loves smart people.
The second makes an offended mouthpiece and goes to the toilet.
In a few minutes scream.
How to wash it?

[ + 51 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №57795
 24.12.2011
The last week I got my husband, so that he made a hole in the wall after repairing the pipes, made a tile in the bath (one collapsed), briefly engaged in male affairs. It has already brought him the point of boiling. So this parasite at night found a needle with a thread in the house and stitched the legs to our son's favorite plush mouse (the mouse was disabled for six months), and finally stitched the plush toy of the cat, from which all the inside of the house flew.

I think I’ll have to do the stuff (

[ + 73 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №57794
 24.12.2011
What do people do on their weekends who haven’t slept all week? They are sleeping.
What are the people who are sleeping out? They will drill.

© A.A.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №57793
 24.12.2011
In the anatomy:
Among all kinds of interesting drugs is a large bank, in which the human brain floats in a formalin solution and, unknown how it got there, a cockroach.
The first thought: And the subject, in the course of the case, was not different in common sense during life.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №57792
 24.12.2011
My girlfriend has offended me.
I hate when they use a lot of toner-she uses
I gave her a spatula) thought she was upset and doesn't talk to me

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №57791
 24.12.2011
The Saturday morning. A cute girl enters the bar, drinks a couple of shots of Sambuca and, having taken a cocktail, stuck in the netbook. There is a drunken man with her.
Girl, can I meet you?
I do not meet.
“A little thinking”
I just buckle.
Everyone who heard it almost died on the spot.


[ + 62 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №57790
 24.12.2011
Here in Manchuria is the steppe and here in Transbaykalsk is the steppe, the winds are constant. And China sells wind turbines to generate electricity, the Chinese themselves on the other side tick them everywhere these wind turbines. So, and our town slowly began to grow, as before satellite plates, now - windshields. And what do you think? After some time, officials forced everyone to remove them with fines and threats - because no one has a license to produce electricity. Wind is a natural resource and it needs a license to extract and use it. The official claim of the authority.

Tax on air?

[ + 37 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №57789
 24.12.2011
Pay for inets now. You can’t do it until 15.

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №57788
 24.12.2011
xxx: now on the radio, in some advertisement said "... and let you next year surrounded by family and loved ones"
I know only one situation when a person is surrounded by all his relatives and acquaintances, it is a funeral.
YYYYYYYYYYYY
XXX is not funny.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №57787
 24.12.2011
She: You know, I’ve been thinking about us for a long time, we’ve been together so long... But I want to break up with you :(
He: Is it serious? O_o didn't know you were still a virgin, but I don't mind ^^''

[ + 166 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №57786
 24.12.2011
And if you call the plush many times, it begins to flash without stopping.)

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №57785
 24.12.2011
From Drum:
XHH: Is there a 2005 engineer according to the documents of 90 years, will not take it? On the record, there is a record of changes in the design.
WOW: And the designer and the bear and the railroad...they will take away...

[ + 54 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №57784
 24.12.2011
We answered:
The guy sues the girl under article 110 (leading to suicide) and she gets jailed for 5 years for what she did not give him. Who is he after that...?

It is beautiful :)

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №57783
 24.12.2011
Q: Have you been there for a long time?
Oh yeah, I am here...
It all started when I made a cup of tea. I brought him a note. begins to blow. Eventually, everything went to the keyboard. My brother came and started screaming. his computer
You have a computer, what’s the problem?
WOW: That’s not all... I went to the kitchen in sorrow, and it was evening. The Dark Oooo. And I tricked to fuck on the sleeping on the couch in front of the TV Dad’s tea drink, while shouting “Fuck!” What a fucking thing, that!and "
In general, my brother, dad, mom and cat offended me.
Oh the cat!? to
WOW: I was the tea when I was rushing, slapped back, straight the ass on him and his food.
It’s dangerous to connect with you, Victoria.

[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №57782
 24.12.2011
Congratulations to!

I will be brief. Here, a generation has grown up who instead of brains has a linnaque and a wolf. This morning on the first federal channel "computer security specialist" stated that the counterfeiting of websites for the purpose of theft of personal data is called FARMING!!! to

You won the honorary title of the elephant. Enter the word pharming in Google and feel the depth of your stupidity.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №57781
 24.12.2011
from ZH:
From such a ass even hands grow with pleasure.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №57780
 24.12.2011
I heard a conversation between two girls in the subway:
1 to Hi! What about you? with anxiety)
2 and hello. I didn’t have time to paint today.

[ + 29 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №57779
 24.12.2011
There is an eternal war between a wise counsel and a foolish command.

[ + 87 - ] Comment quote №57778
 24.12.2011
Product of Double Purpose
One day, the owners decided to bite their cat for the first time with dry food.
They opened a box in the kitchen and put it in a bowl. The cat approached, smelled, questioningly looked at the owners. Those of his kind encourage, say:
“Don’t be afraid, Barcy, eat...
Being in obvious difficulty regarding the way to use the novelty, the cat sat on the bowl, did his cat business, carefully buried.
He looked at them all, “Have you guessed?“...

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №57777
 24.12.2011
1 the course. The first pair of matanalysis in the technical university.
The Teacher:
- Write the topic: "The actual function of a complex variable.
Surrective, injective and bijective functions.
Voice from the back:
Allo, is this a military officer? I changed my mind. Please tell me when I need it.
Going to the Medical Committee?

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