In the fifth grade, an inspector for underage children came to our school and spent a class hour after the lessons.

Our classmate Serega Zverev made under the floor a scrap from his underground in the underground of the neighbors. The houses were for two owners, and in the kitchen of each owner there was an underground. The owners stored strawberries, compotes, homemade strawberries were stored in banks, fat was stored, etc.

It turns out Serega a month made a bribe, and then a couple of months lazed, food pulled.

They registered, were ashamed, Serega cried, promised that he would not be again.

Now he is not Serega, but Sergey Ivanovich, the father of four children, the chief mechanic of the RMC (repair mechanical workshop). But for us, classmates, he is still Serega "Monte Cristo")

Do you know what instant karma is?

Just just. He flew on 35 rows, almost in the tail.

The plane just landed – the neighbor jumped up, scattered everyone and ran to the nose of the plane to be the first to get out.

Trap arrived at the tail.

I am a student, waiting for the bus to go to my grandmother to the village, and in my pocket the delivery of the purchase of a ticket (30 rubles).

A poor man came and asked for bread. I grabbed all 30 rubles, thought that I would not get poorer, and the man would eat, and in that same second his phone is ringing. He simultaneously grabs the little thing from my palm and responds to the phone call with the words, “Yes, it’s okay, I’m at work.”

I visited my classmate when I was a child with my grandmother. The grandfather took his grandson for a walk and, when he met his friend Petrovich, they went to the beer store. Beer, fish and talk. Grandfather speaks to granddaughter, granddaughter does not.

Coming home, my classmate poured a compot into a glass of drink. and says.

Father, let’s go like you and Petrovich’s circles.

Such "lenses" grandfather from grandmother arrived, who smoked on the doorstep and tried not to burn.

My older sister is drawing on a magazine table (I am 6 years old, she is 11-12).

I watch for a long time as she paints, there is a landscape of a man, here she is already painting begins. I ask – so your parents will put puzzles into you, how will you turn out?

“But so,” she says and writes my name on the table where the artist’s signature should be. And she writes with her left hand (she is the right hand) to mimic my six-year-old handwriting.

Mom didn't believe my story and the puzzles on the broken table were inserted into me.

Family life not only relieves from loneliness, but a bonus allows you to long for loneliness.

One day...
- A little salt is lacking, well, and spices are little, - chewing another piece of sausage, the customer said.
- Fuck, he's a gourmet, I thought, but he said something quite different, we'll fix it! - Although it has been corrected ten times, no less, you will not try it with someone else's mouth. And the chips are all over. Pretending options, I knew I would not get anyway. Do you have a model that is 100% satisfying? In taste, in color and even in shape.
The model? Oh there is. There is! Your competitors from your neighborhood do this. It is sold in a store next to my office. I bring now.
The newly cooked chief of the sausage shop looked at me with grief.
Will we make a new mix? In any case, he asked. I think he just composts our brains!
Do not be in a hurry, let’s check.
The sample brought by the customer did not present anything unusual. I twisted the depersonalized bottle and the edak, cut it off, tried it and thought:
“If he’s a gourmet, he’s rare,” he told him, “he’ll be ready for lunch tomorrow. One in one, in color and taste. Come in to tasting.
The next day, lunch began.
“Here’s the sausage,” I knocked onto a box of sausages, I said. - The appearance got exactly in grams and in centimeters, and you can taste. I am sure that they also hit, although the sausage is depersonalized, on the sample neither label nor composition. All were calculated by the deductive method and the method of thickness. Try it.
The client took a piece, smelled.
“The bouquet of spices is clearly not the same,” he said with doubt.
Try it, the bucket will open. All one in one.
Well, one in one, here and the salts exceeded. translated to the same. Absolutely shit! You can do absolutely nothing!
“Then you compare, compare, this is your sample,” I said, stretching him half a bottle. One in one!
You are what? It is a completely different thing, the smell and design are completely different, and smoking is normal! Bite from another piece and tasting, he said. Was it just as hard to do?! to
-No, not hard, I only had to change places on the sample your sample and the sausage that was produced here. And for the appearance to buy in the store the remaining eight buttons of your sample. So that the doubts will not overcome you. Here is the check.

I want a cat for the New Year!
Don’t worry, there will be an olive as always!