bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 87 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №45013
 25.03.2011
The Destroyed:
I register on the website of the state service in order to quickly make overseas, but there is nothing simple: only in our country... the notification of registration on the site comes to the mail!!! by ordinary mail!! A unique country.

We have a truly unique country! Everyone sees himself as a global expert. Tell me, and how else should the state make sure that it is you who is registering, and not, for example, the employee of your human resources department who has all these data? How can you shut down the possibility of trading your data? Or maybe you have an ECP for signing electronic copies of documents and statements? The only option for now (I emphasize, for now) is to come to the mail with the passport and pick up the password. I work with services. I see what the state does (or at least tries) for the human being. very much things. Of course, not without the bad sheep. But believe me, among the ordinary population of bears is much more. Come, go to the public service competition, arrange yourself and do everything as you think it should be. Do not defy your country, love it. Until you begin to take it seriously, no one will do it.

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №45012
 25.03.2011
Russia is a country of pastries from the future and documents from the past... The pastries are always "tomorrow", and the documents are all registered with "the last number".

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №45011
 25.03.2011
She: эх with the boy is fun to watch porn... straight afterwards at night is fun :)
I: You had an Estonian boy.

[ + 74 - ] Comment quote №45010
 25.03.2011
Saphire_boy: If I had the opportunity to ask the President of Russia one single question, I would look him in the eyes and ask only – “Tell me, you’re not ashamed?”
Besisland: A stupid question. He said, “No, I’m not ashamed,” and what next? He said, “Shameful,” and what?
semperante: No, he won’t say that. He will answer briefly and substantially. Approximately so: "Unfortunately, there are still completely unacceptable appearances in Russia. This is completely unacceptable. We must take all necessary measures to combat unacceptable phenomena. It is absolutely unacceptable that all necessary measures have not yet been taken to combat unacceptable phenomena. I have given the necessary instructions to take the necessary measures to combat unacceptable phenomena. I have instructed to report on how the presidential orders on combating unacceptable phenomena are being fulfilled. It is necessary."

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №45009
 25.03.2011
“This guy is clearly in shape.
Advantages and advantages together:
A beautiful heart.
The liver is normal.
The stomach is better not to find.
With such a beautiful device.
I live as much as I want!”
said pathologist
And silently the scalpel postponed.

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №45008
 25.03.2011
Write me something nice 😉
YYY: I remember the wonderful moment, before me you appeared!
XXX: No, it won’t go so, make it yourself)))
Like a cat loves a chicken with wings, like an admin film with puppies, so I love you! Ollo Ollo and Ninado Nothing!
Xxx:................

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №45007
 25.03.2011
One day, the woodsman Mikhalych walked around Lake Seliger, as he suddenly noticed.
In the woods, a bath in the form of a shrub, around which absolutely naked people ran.
The young nymphs.
"What else is this bl.d. in my area?" - I was upset to see the species
by Mikhailov. “Who are you?” he asked strictly.
"A... this is... our....... this is" - come out of the bath such a native, such a
Everyone knows the pain of the voice of the prime minister.
This is how the youth movement of supporters of Unity appeared in Seliger
Russia is "Our"

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №45006
 25.03.2011
I have not been so insidious yet.
On the eighteenth night, he decided to turn on the telephone for a noisy background, watched nothing, left on the "Boyce" - there was something so boring about boxers. I did not naturally watch - the sound made quieter and began to read the book. Suddenly a mummy’s voice comes from behind "What are you looking at?I raise my eyes and cuddle — on the screen quite quiet, but clearly fuck the grandmother.
Well, who knew that exactly at 11 a.m. the channel "Fighter" magic transforms into a Private

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №45005
 25.03.2011
I checked the case yesterday: I go, uncle is sleeping, no one else. He swallowed all the cats, drank the whole spinach, ate all the yogurt and swallowed the operation.
xxx: and also gone unnoticed
XXX: Thinking of Home

[ + 105 - ] Comment quote №45004
 25.03.2011
Roast is riddled, the oatmeal will ripen, the cheese cheese

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №45003
 25.03.2011
I came to my brother in Novorossiysk, he lives alone, sat down, drank, began to nostalgia, he showed me the history of his queries in Google when I just moved. Among other masterpieces there were:

December 6, 2009 How to cook milk soup
...
December 10, 2009 How to understand that milk has shed
December 10, 2009 What to do if the milk dropped
December 10, 2009 Recipes
10.12.2009 Ways for Blinds
...
17.12.2009 How to understand that the lost milk is gone

[ + 80 - ] Comment quote №45002
 25.03.2011
I work as an admin in a solid company. Smurf, the chef makes a query in Google: "acne remedy price". After a few minutes the following query: "Hair growth price". Then another query: "to increase the member price". And minutes after ten request: "buy a gun cheap"... I’m scared...

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №45001
 25.03.2011
My girlfriend decided to study manicure. After a busy evening, as usual, she went to school in a beauty salon. She sits and makes a menicure. After a while, he noticed some weight on his shoulder. It turns, and there is a protein. Through her indifferent gaze, her girlfriend continues to do her business. What was her surprise when she noticed that everyone could see the white.

P.S One of the workers of the salon brought a hand white, which peacefully slept in the cap of the jacket, which was hanging on the chair on which my friend was placed. After the incident, no one stopped drinking.

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №45000
 25.03.2011
Comment on the news on the Rambler, about the fact that the U.S. Army has issued a special instruction on communicating with gays.

...And note that there are no glamorous Moscow pedics there, these are real frozen combat pedoirs!! to

[ + 63 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №44999
 25.03.2011
flapengin
Do you know what my niece wrote in a geometry textbook?

flapengin
A triangle is called a rectangle if at least one of the angles is 90 degrees.

flapengin
At least one fucking. Fuck you Pythagoras.

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №44998
 25.03.2011
Judging by the fact that I was scratching because of the battery, there could be Narnia, and I would not have guessed.

[ + 70 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №44997
 25.03.2011
"Scientists Suddenly Discovered Sex in Ameb"
to fucking.
Even in them.

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №44996
 25.03.2011
M: Well you slipped, now I’m just doomed to go with you girlfriend
You are a man, you have been condemned since childhood.

[ + 79 - ] Comment quote №44995
 25.03.2011
In the contact:
He: One morning you will wake up and understand how dear I am to you... But when that day comes, I will wake up with the one who understood it before.
I: "s the one who understood")))
You finally confessed!

[ + 63 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №44994
 25.03.2011
I watch a video called "Trans on guitar" - a man on acoustics virtuously gives a trance. One of the stones (on the move, in full seriousness):

It would still be a natural and not a trance, the price would not be!

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna