bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №95815
 25.03.2014
From the discussion of today's popular political topic in the CC

xxx: I have heard from friends that from all over the country to the border of the Crimea are being pulled out from Kamaza trucks with Lenin monuments, with which the fascists will shoot the Russian-speaking population of the peninsula with the help of a giant catapult, and monks-satanists are preparing for the rite of the resurrection of Stepan Bandera, who will lead the army of guerrillas-zombies to war with Russia.

[ + 25 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №95814
 25.03.2014
The second part of the Avengers

xxx: *photography of Altron from filming - a guy in a jacket that wears armor*
Tags: shoe under shoe
WOW: It’s even tougher than Superman’s trailers on the loins!

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №95813
 25.03.2014
here here :
"xxx: And that’s not bad even considering that among the famous autists are people like Landau and Einstein!
Yyy: Well, Einstein was burned on fire, for example, what’s good about it? – – – –
zzz: I did not understand the joke ><'
Or was it not burned? - and"
It is ===
Whether he was burned, or he burned someone, but the rumor went away.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №95812
 25.03.2014
from the working chat.

Meanwhile, on the other side of Ukraine: Google was banned in Turkey.
Ukrainian colleague: Turkish Armenians still do not want to reunite with Russia?
I: Are they still there?
A colleague from Ukraine: soon to appear, and will be in Russian military uniform without identification marks. They will behave politely.
I: I think you are talking about territorial integrity now :)


[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №95811
 25.03.2014
I had a neighbor upstairs, Sanya, very drunk. I remember we go to him to smoke, and his tubes are burning, we don’t have money either, or we just don’t give him, I don’t remember. And on the pitch he has a racer living, but in debt she also no longer gives him.
He says, I decided everything, from my mother’s warehouse I’ll take a slice of salt, and I’ll go to the car and exchange.)
He raises some bowl with cucumbers, and underneath it a note of Sasha!! I have everything counted!! to
I’m so crazy, Pepper 😉

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №95810
 25.03.2014
The righteous woman eats with an orange, not with cheese, because she fasts.

They met the robbers. And killed him. In the cats of the traveller found only salt and bread. They ate bread, but did not touch the fat because of fasting.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №95809
 25.03.2014
Discussion of the article on the western website about Crimea and "polite people" (approximately translated from the imported language):
That is a lie, they are not Russians. Just armed Crimeans who bought uniforms – the fashion industry in Crimea is now flourishing simply.
W: Re: Do you really get angry when you come to a costumed party and suddenly it turns out that the other guests are absolutely the same dress? It becomes uncomfortable!

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №95808
 25.03.2014
X: Guys, I’m interested in this question: Have you ever sent your pets from one city to another? It is necessary to deliver the hork from Novosibirsk to Moscow. I don’t want him to get sick, get lost, etc. The animal is not vaccinated so it is not desirable to get sick. Maybe someone has encountered and will be able to advise anything, any services or something else.
Send the Russian Post.
Then he will not die from illness, but from old age.

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №95807
 25.03.2014
Scotchicism: “Everything that cannot be repaired with Scotch does not have existence.”

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №95806
 25.03.2014
The Portable:

Today the material is broken.
My worldview, when I said
Paper glue is liquid glass.
O_O

Not for paper, but for paper. On the packaging it is called office, and so generally silicate. Accordingly, made on the basis of silicon, glass is also made of silicon. This is why it is called liquid glass. However, lessons in school are better not to walk.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №95805
 25.03.2014
There was a strain at a dog exhibition, stopped near one ring. The ring was run by happy dogs with their owners (or not with their owners, but 99% of them were girls), followed by a judge whitened with grays. watched for a long time. As a result, he gave the first place to the dog whose owner had the largest breasts.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №95804
 25.03.2014
"A lawyer with a prize, he almost signed the entire contract on a lam!"

I work with a major contractor. They needed a specialized software. The disk and key protection is such, a flash drive. For 2.5 months, their legal department made me brains - composed and reworked the contract, then they required a certificate for software, which we did not issue, then they demand confirmation of the transfer of rights, simple accounting documents of purchase and sale are not suitable... But I still do not have this invaluable maculature, and it will not be. They still need the software. The result - after 2.5 months they still buy it, exactly in the setup that I originally sounded. 14,000 is more expensive. Courses have risen and prices have risen. Here is the real loss from the activity of these parasites, in monetary terms. But - a valuable employee, protecting the interests of the company, yes.and (

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №95803
 25.03.2014
A: What is the average speed of 8 dogs pulling the sails with a human?
bbb: The average speed on different distances can be very different, but about 20-30 km/h for fresh dogs.
ccc: And what is the average distance they can travel on one charge? How much is the distance increased by a parallel connection?
ddd: Can I put a larger battery? Is an alternative server available? Did you fix the bug, when while driving they make strange sounds, something like "af! The AFF! The AFF!”

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №95802
 25.03.2014
This is how you read the news on the Ukrainian portal that they all have gas well, there is still, so to speak, powder in powders, and then you look at the list below of other articles from this portal - and there are giant squats feeding on deer, and a base of aliens on the Moon.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №95801
 25.03.2014
Friend, to the cathrom in the bus are sitting in the last row, K. Saimak has a story "The Ring around the Sun", so there the main character has the same stuff - in the end he learns that he is a robot, and people simply subconsciously felt that something was wrong with him.
Dimelo

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №95800
 25.03.2014
#8 Create a hobby
XXX: Take the Hammer
YYY: I can’t keep track of myself. Where do I go to the hammer
He only has to give food and everything.
I forgot to feed myself.
XXX: The Fish
They will just die silently.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №95799
 25.03.2014
The modern Russian army now includes five types of troops: land, air, naval, missile and space and polite troops.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №95798
 25.03.2014
Monuments two=) One "Fatherland-mother" in Kiev, another "Fatherland-mother calls" in Volgograd=)
His croton.

It is intolerable! Motherland is an image that was used both in time and after the Great Patriotic Soviet propaganda. Thro the former USSR and even beyond it, there are far more than 2. Volgograd is the most popular, Kiev is the largest.
Volgogradz

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №95797
 25.03.2014
The word “can’t” is the entire vocabulary of Conscience.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №95796
 25.03.2014
A friend once asked me to hack the password from the server. The ex-admin left without leaving any data. I found a program that shows the password behind the stars, installed, enabled - nifiga! All the same stars. I found another one – the stars again... Only a day later I realized that the password was 12 stars!

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna