I met a cute girl. Communicated a couple of times. I ordered the delivery of flowers to her office on Friday morning. I did not warn her, I thought I would make a surprise. On the delivery website as the recipient indicated "office number such, table second from the entrance".



The morning began with the call of the courier that he brought flowers to the office, and there were only harsh men who did not expect such a gift.

- They are interested in you, ask to call your phone, without this they do not let go, - said the courier.

“Kate, give it,” I gave him in response.

Who are you Katya? The courier has made his situation worse. The call interrupted.



A second call followed, which began with a threat to my address. Someone strange was trying to find out where I was right now. Through a wall of mutual insults and misunderstandings, we found out that the bouquet was intended for the neighboring office.



A few minutes later, a third call came out. The courier said he had met resistance again and did not understand what to do with the bouquet. When he found Katya and handed her repeatedly hand-in-hand flowers, the man who worked at the next table was very opposed to such attention to his wife and again tried to find out the identity of "Michael". When I offered to give them to someone, I dropped the call.



I learned the details in the evening: Katya called me, asking if I would go to her office. “Why? I asked coldly, remembering a previously unknown husband. “I am late to work today, and when I came, the girls whisper that Catherine Petrovna and Sergey Ivanovich are getting divorced. You can imagine, her lover sent her a beautiful bouquet in the morning.

On the way to the temple are the most greedy haishniki.

Following the topic of spammers...

I always take the phone and talk to everyone. I get a call from the health center, I sign up for a reception. Call with the offer to repair the windows for free, I agree immediately and give the address of the health center. They offer tickets to the theater, I order at once 5 pieces of the most expensive and I agree to bring them to the company for a free replacement of windows. Even when they call from the security service of the sberbank and ask to name the card number and the PIN code, I honestly take the card in my hands and dictate the data.

Why the name for the white bear, which appeared in the Moscow Zoo, will be chosen by popular vote, but to build or not a new elite residential complex in the forest park zone - here in the opinion of the people deeply laugh?

We have a dog. He is already very old, deaf, blind, has gone through dreams and fire and water.

He was always afraid of dust. As soon as the vacuum cleaner was turned on, he ran into another room and hid himself.

I was pleased today:

Daddy and Daddy! Jack doesn’t run away from the vacuum cleaner. That means he is no longer afraid of him.

No, guys... this means that our old Jack has become very old and completely deaf.

I was six years old. And I had a friend Leha (son of my mom’s friend).

Another time my mom’s girlfriend came to my mom with my friend and in conjunction with her son. We were given a iron ruble for fun and we went for a walk.

We went to the square, where there was no one, and Leha told me that if you buried the ruble today, you will have two rubles tomorrow.

I believed.

A friend.

They cut off the ruble and put two rubles in the ground. Carefully put the deer in place. After the walk, they returned home without spending a penny.

The next day I came to this place alone, removed the dirt, excavated the whole place - there is no money.

I was upset.

When I met Leha, he told me that he didn’t find money either.

No need to doubt.

A friend.

After I went to another region, and came home as an adult and set up in the police and there in the archive saw his name by chance. raised the materials. 17 times he went to the police for crimes: theft, hooliganism. He already had two terms with me.

And only then I remembered that ruble.

I am ashamed to admit, I don't know why, but I always have a plan X in my head.

Over the years of my life, whole schemes have accumulated in my head and they are constantly being supplemented, mutated and complicated. For a long time, I decided that if I became a boomer, I would definitely go to live at the sea. I planned everything.

In the summer there are fruits, you can sleep outdoors, with washing also no problems. In the winter, I mentally dive closer to the heart of the big city, where the houses will be protected from the ice wind brought from the water, and fast food cafes will be fed with all sorts of snacks. I’ll be a little robbing in the markets and dressing in секонд-hands during a 90% discount.

I have already come up with the idea that I will get to the translators because I have a good experience.

Here, on my new job, I frequently visit the roof. In the houses of the old foundation they are terrible: dirt, tons of pigeon spotting, the smell of ammonia and the outer darkness. But when I get on the bright and spacious lofts of new buildings, where brick walls look rougher than the design in apartments with a "loft" finish, I subconsciously start to look. It is dry, warm and clean, and all wires and pipes are securely wrapped in a thick insulation. There is an exit to the roof, from which there is a paved view of the city or the Gulf of Finland. At such moments in my shower my inner bitterness immediately wakes up and says, "Here you can fit well if you don't go to the sea."

Why do I have these thoughts? Am I thinking about it at all? Some primitive instinct makes me think about survival and seek comfort where it shouldn’t be by default.

For some reason, I make notes in my head about what happens to delayed food and where it is used by expensive stores and some hypermarkets. I know that a lot of all kinds of clothes, clothes and medicines are given for free on the avito, I have a clear understanding of where you can easily get a rubber and where to deliver it. My inner buzz is constantly with me, and all the new knowledge and skills he somehow begins to apply to the arrangement of his sad fate.

Please tell me that I am not a lost idiot, and somebody has it too.