More than a year ago, someone joked that for Eurovision from Russia you need to send gas, oil and babies immediately. Again not fully understood.

Conversation between two children 5-6 years old:
Shall we go to the hospital?
Let it
Is it an ambulance?
- Yes
Please take Katie.

Xxx: Our English teacher – a 70 year old grandmother – liked to move the middle finger in front of the faces of the students (i.e. In front of our faces) and shout loudly: "Are you understanding?"

Commentary on Lordi’s performance at Eurovision:

Maxim Zharkovsky
The animal on the keys looks like my ex-wife -))
12 May 2012 at 23:17

Differences in Mentality:
The "Zippo" light bulb got its name because Americans hear the sound of opening-closing the lid. We would have called it "Bzdynyklats", most likely.

"Buranov grandmothers" - in my opinion, we haven't trolled Europe so long ago

and.

We sit in the cinema, there is a break between traditional advertisements - a black screen, dark, before us a man tries to touch. Here, apparently doubting the correctness of the chosen row, he asks with a lame, procured bass:
Dimon, are you here?
And then the advertisement turns on again and a voice from the screen announces:
It was a voice from the bottom...
How did we roast.)

xxx for yyy: did you have to fight with the corpse?
zzz for xxx: I hope this is not your crown phrase when dating a girl?

Valadilen: the girl had nothing to eat - so we ate the Voyn's cakes, which he so carefully kept.
Are you not afraid to bite him now?
Valadiren: For the sake of this girl, you know, I’m not ready for that :) Something is in her...
Artem:... at least the Voiny Cake

There are so many babies in the world to sleep with, and so few women to talk to.c) Ernest Hemingway

I work as a seller in a night kiosk.Around half the third night, two girls knock.They take a pack of chips, two large snickers, a two-liter cola and chokopayki.The other with a sad voice:
Diet, diet...I told you to go to bed? I said that again after the joke, like last time we would run?! Take the oxandrolone!

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From the chat lawnpinger.com
All people, like people, are drunk writing former text messages. And I turned on the computer today and feel like a venereologist looking at a tourist from Thailand.
yyy: Disorderly sex with questionable software?
XXX is AHA. And judging by what has been established, I’m not sure that all relationships were heterosexual.
yyy: :))))
XXX: I have a tetris.
Yyy: This is the “call of the former” :))))
XXX: No... the former is the Third Doom, and Tetris is the first love. My first love in the garden.

It is discussed the hopelessness of dating sites, if the goal is not sex for 1 night, but marriage and family.

Donna Rosa from Brazil: I met a man on a overseas dating site and then moved to him to Brazil.
True, then I dropped him because he went to another and left me pregnant.
But I am raising my daughter, she is not very similar to her father. I have my own cacao plantation.

I met my husband in an online game. After he said, “You’re going to attack again, fucking!”

Talk about film
XXX: And then he was shot. They were shot with a knife.

You are a cowboy, I am a cowboy.
You are a cowboy, I am a cowboy.
We joke a lot about sex.
Valerian: And to fuck – no!

5 days to pay. The money in the wallet is joke! Only for travel. Choo was upset. I went to the places of the past ass. I found chocolate. Not bad either :)

Love is when you want a woman even when you want to.

An infinite number of mathematicians enter the bar. The first says:
I have a half litre of beer, please.
The second says:
I have a quarter of a liter.
The Third:
I have an eighth.
The Fourth :
I have a sixteenth.
The Barman:
Hey Hey Hey Hey, Stop! Here you have one liter for everyone - don't fuck my brain!