bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №154324
 28.05.2020
It happened a week ago, but the situation only allowed today.

As I said before, I sell my own knives and sell them through eBay and Etsy.

and 99. 5% - butts: just silently buy what they need, ask a couple of questions, and that's all. This is the best type of client.

There are cascades, but very rarely. But recently I got burned. (K is the client)

A client from Canada wrote to me.

K - Good, I want to buy from you chiridashes (such small knives of interesting shape). Are you sending to Canada?

I – Yes of course. Now with the mail is a problem, but I use the service of another mail organization, and they deliver quickly. Canada is about 12 days away.

Q - Okay, then I have two chiridashes, and can they make cheetahs from kaidex?

Yes, I have no problem.

He takes two small knives, and I note my order to the table.

One day passes, and he again.

K is Hi! How is my order? )

I am good! It will be ready in a week, as described in the description. Everything on time!

K is good. Can I get two more curls?

I – Yes of course. I will do. Just make a purchase, and I will report in one package.

Q. Can I get a gift? I took two rentals yesterday, and I think you won’t have to report anything to me :)

I did not quite understand him here. I read it 5 times and thought that my English was really bad.

What do I mean by “gift”?

Q - Well, times are tough, there are not so many customers now, and I have made two purchases. I think it makes sense to show your loyalty to the buyer. You don’t want a bad response, right?

Oh you p@dars! This guy is really threatening me. I adhere to the policy that any conflict should be resolved as peacefully as possible, and if I am at least to some extent wrong - it is better to return the money. But this is the first time I meet that I am so threatened in the face! And the most evil thing is that I can no longer cancel the order: it has paid, and according to the rules of the service has the full right to leave a review.

I – yes, of course I will.

K is great! I wait!

I did not argue with him. Muddak thinks he is the smartest and has to do with a poor master from a third world country: but fuck you.

I scan our dialogue and write to Admin Atsi. They are, of course, those still fools, and almost in any situation are on the side of the client, but here they even fainted. They said they will get it done.

A week passes and I get the answer: The user is blocked because he repeatedly violated the rule of the resource, the transaction is cancelled.

The store stood up on my side, the cattle was blocked, and even the money didn’t have to be returned.

Is that what a man has in his head? It’s a pity that he took the two cheapest knives, but it’s still nice. I hope that this down has made several such orders at once from others and now has flown for a round amount.

Peace to you and good customers!

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №154323
 28.05.2020
Engaged in opening the locks, and more specifically what should be closed and opened accordingly.

So, there is an application from the controller, you need to open the door, documents in your hands, a drunk husband procureed the keys... I come and watch the painting with oil, the blue body is on the site, next to the aunt with the documents in your hands... We specify the cost of opening and the price of replacement, the opening is agreed, and we will make the replacement of the type ourselves, you only get the old one. Well okay we work... I opened, I got the lock, gave it to my aunt and I gathered the tool. As soon as I gathered, I realized that my aunt merged with the castle unnoticed and naturally did not pay for the opening. I picked up her number, took it and said, like the husband lost the keys, let him pay, and this reminds me of an absolutely blue body, that is, in shit... Well, I had to carefully twist the wagon along the perimeter and twisted the door to the metal to the box. The wagon to the place and home... Three hours later, the truth for a triple price and "money in front" "opened" again. While re-opening, the aunt was crying that the shit didn't run it, but then it all came up: there is no castle, there is nothing to take, the husband will wake up flooded into the apartment and will be closed on the roofs, and she will buy a new castle...

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №154322
 28.05.2020
Sitting in the kitchen, 3 children, 9 years old, 6 and 3, began to jump on me, I on the couch under them started pretending, whispering, saying that it was hard to breathe and to tear. He pretended to be unconscious. As a result, the elderly was still trying to check the breath, the heart beats or not, the warm or already cooled, but after 30 minutes everyone decided that Daddy is asleep (although the elderly paid attention to the absence of snoring), a little bit of me struck, assessed what a hike went out, ran and while Daddy "sleep" swallowed tea and got a candy. As a result, the rescue is hardly worth waiting, but the children can make a living.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №154321
 28.05.2020
The path to defeat begins with the thought of one’s own invincibility.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №154319
 28.05.2020
Borders are closed, rallies and gatherings are prohibited, any travel except for work requires a special pass, pensioners die, and working pensioners can not be paid. Do you really think they’re going to look for a vaccine?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №154318
 28.05.2020
At the end of the biographical films must show a photo of the prototype, so that everyone would understand how ugly he is compared to the actor.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №154317
 28.05.2020
On Saturday, there was a bold and, I am not afraid of this word, a professional robbery of our firm.

Audacious because the guard was fifty meters from the central office, and professional because two thieves (cams shot three, but one was on the road) in just seven minutes had time to silently expose the glass package, open the door of the box office, scrape the 70-kilogram seat in the concrete, pull it out the window, sink and hide in the car...

The speed and coherence of actions spoke about the fact that the thieves spent more than one day on training, every step was thought out, every little thing except one... on this day the cashier foolishly forgot to remove the safe all the daily revenue (a little more than a million rubles) and left it a row on the table under the folders...

Even a little bit of theft, so tried...

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna