bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №16154
 29.04.2009
I took the girl home. We stood, we talked, we started kissing, a voice from the window:
"You don’t bite it!"
I could not say goodbye to another 5 minutes of laughter.

[ + 56 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №16153
 29.04.2009
Antivirus: What kind of antivirus do you have?
Joxan: no, and I know all the system files on the comp, as strangers appear - I delete

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №16152
 29.04.2009
I flew in 1991 from Japan, flew - over the islands cloudless sky, beauty! However, soon entered the cloudy, milk outside the window, fly, began to spread limonade-wine. Here the ka-ak is shaking! The bags from the boxes fall, the women whisper, the lemonade splashes! At that moment, the stewardess announces:
“Dear passengers, ladies and gentlemen, comrades, our plane just crossed the Soviet Union’s air border!”! to

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №16151
 29.04.2009
Yesterday in the shop "step availability" behind me on the box were three girls from 14 years old. I was delighted to listen to their dialogue:
Q1: How did he call you? HY-HY
Chapter 2: The Salad. Does that mean?
No. 3 (with an important look): Something like "Sexy"!
Chapter 1 and Chapter 2: OOOOOO!! to
:D

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №16150
 29.04.2009
Who goes into the forest painted?
What about a bear? O_O

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №16149
 29.04.2009
From the official correspondence of one oil company:
The new form, applications created in the old form, will not be accepted.
Especially for the 1304 brigade - the application is such a white paper, on which it is written that you need... (it is done on a computer, the computer is like a TV, only the picture does not move, it is printed on the printer, it is like a printing machine, only the fingers to press Nothing is necessary).
and stop sending the car with flash for 100 km, send it all by email!!! to

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №16148
 29.04.2009
Bobby
I sit on philosophy...he talks about old rite.

The Rubber Astronaut
We have an old cat.

Bobby
Why is?

The Rubber Astronaut
All cats worship the washing machine and our oven.

[ + 91 - ] Comment quote №16147
 29.04.2009
"500 per wheel, 250 per package of programs (winamp, video player, office, virtual machine, codecs, etc.) with adjustment (crackers, Russification)."

You look there, friend, more carefully with the crawlers. Or friends were doing this, once came to order, put a screw, office, all the little things there, a photoshop, a car... And there is a hidden camera, understood behind the wall and a notarially certified hard drive. As a result of the sixth of May, the court, the penalty is glowing, emnip, up to 250t.r.
more carefully.
Forgive me, people, who science may be.

[ + 69 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №16146
 29.04.2009
Say, in nature there are people in general, whose length of step harmonizes with the frequency of tiling, and they can always come on/not come on the junctions?? to

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №16145
 29.04.2009
Tanya says you’re a dalpayob
YYY: What do you argue about?
xxx is cute :D

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №16144
 29.04.2009
Pearl: So say, if a guy you really like offered to fulfill one of your wishes, what would you guess?
Eternity: I want to marry him
Pearl: Oh... no, well besides that?
Eternity: Let it not go away.

[ + 58 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №16143
 29.04.2009
Friends of computer fans!! to

You, installing the screw to the acquaintance and acquaintance of the acquaintances on the recommendation of those (type - I have a boy acquainted, reasoning in computers... here is his number, call him, he will do everything to you") BE GRATITUDE!!! to

Also heaven like I in the recent past cheap and do everything for funny money or in the best case for beer?!? to

Stop doing fingers! A month ago, for the sake of interest, I found out how much computer workers take for reinstallation in firms!
Installation XP - 1000, and in some popped offices - 2000!!! to

Do as I do - 500 per wheel, 250 per package of programs (winamp, video player, office, virtual machine, codecs, etc.) with adjustments (crackers, Russification). Verified - the flow of customers after the price increase has not exhausted, but increased! They have no place to go - we have cheaper!! to

Do not sell your skills in excess!! to

Admines, miss the quote, sorry guys who for a bottle of beer are digging with foreign iron

With respect, Mr Ice

[ + 47 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №16142
 29.04.2009
The female logic.

Writing a friend

I have a daughter born!!! to
I: Congratulations to you!! How much?
XH: 3500 52cm

Written by a girl

A girl has been born!
I: How much?
Tagged: one

5 and 4

[ + 85 - ] Comment quote №16141
 29.04.2009
xxx: throw this fool in order not to wash dishes, put on them a cellophane bag before eating, then remove them and throw them into the trash, and that’s all! No need to wash the dish.
YYY: Listen, he’s a genius!1 where can I buy a lot of pockets?

[ + 13 - ] Comment quote №16140
 29.04.2009
If you are given toilet paper, you are embarrassed to send it directly.
You are fucking.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №16139
 29.04.2009
The story of a military adviser
It was in the late 1970s – early 1980s. I was a counselor.
The Angolan Armed Forces. I went to the state, with local people.
Communicated in Portuguese: as-nik, the former colony of Portugal.
Having dropped the colonizers, the Angolan people moved confidently toward
socialism under the leadership of the ruling MPLA party, which was hindered by internal
supported by the American imperialists and the Chinese
The Hegemonists.
The army of Angola is a fairy tale, with such an army we would have managed with the Germans in
forty the first. The testimony to this is one of the episodes below.
At the head of the unit, whose headquarters I headed, was an Angolan officer.
He invented the pseudonym Che Guevara. He is just like Che Guevara.
I am on Patrice Lumumba. Once our headquarters developed a military operation. Well,
As Leo Tolstoy wrote in War and Peace, “Erste Colonne marches...
The columns of the march... the columns of the march...” The result should
It was a complete surrounding and defeat of the rebels.
Everything is understandable? I ask Che Guevara.
I understand, I understand.
With God!
The unit went on to perform the task. The Soviet Military
We look forward to winning relations. What there! We see in a few hours.
Our brave army fleeing from the battlefield. In front of Che Guevara.
In my eyes is horror.
What happened? I ask.
They are shooting there!
The curtain.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №16138
 29.04.2009
My uncle, as far as I remember, works as a shoemaker.
As far as I can remember, I constantly quipped him on the subject of "The shoe without the shoe."
The shoe.”
I grew up and became a gynecologist.
The Uncle is now...

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №16137
 29.04.2009
The last message in the branch about tea mushrooms. and.
Denis Evgeniev
01.08.2007, 18:42
The tea fungus in our family encountered a ridiculous fate. When there was not enough alcohol to snack, it was cut into pieces like a cake and eaten.

O_O

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №16136
 29.04.2009
A dacha is a place where a plant becomes a tree, a seed becomes a vegetable, and a man becomes a cancer.

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