bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №96028
 30.03.2014
On pornolab.net comment on the video where the grandmother squeezes a bottle of Heineken in her ass:

A very good Heineken! But I got stuck with the bucket)))

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №96027
 30.03.2014
yyy: I suppose, thusnyak under "50 cent" song "Candy Shop" all such cool and here heraks translation "I will bring you to the confectionery...."
____________________________________________

I don’t want to break anyone the touching picture that arose in the mind, but candy shop is the slang name of the bordell.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №96026
 30.03.2014
The Vampire Phuist sews a cross in the daytime, a silver needle near a bed with garlic in the back yard of the monastery :)

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №96025
 30.03.2014
Here are the technicians.
I sit down, dictating a friend’s email address, he wants to send something there. I dictate due to the circumstances by phone. He writes the address, then suddenly stops and asks: "A weather, and "We" what? How is a voltmeter or power?" xD

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №96024
 30.03.2014
At the expense of the barley and milk that collapse is a typical test for the association of schizophrenia. If you show him a card with a hat, jacket, shoes and pencil, then he will not divide them by ‘clothes/not clothes’, like all normal people, but by ‘leaves a mark/not leaves a mark’, thus distinguishing them into a general group of shoes and pencil.

Therefore, the correct answer to such questions, on which even dementia children are trying to provide (and also drugs from it are expensive to prescribe, of course) - "the common thing with barley and milk - is that fucking under-educated psychologists use them in one question." Well or "go nahuy" vs "I will now talk to your boss".

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №96023
 30.03.2014
Q: Is it true that every Jigita must have a three-day brush to clean his boots?
WOW: Nihua, they can’t shave smoothly because they shave through the scissors. They are afraid to cut off their throat. Hands are guilty.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №96022
 30.03.2014
The Tesla electric car:

What if Tesla entered Tesla?
I went to Tesla in Tesla, I saw Tesla in Tesla...

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №96021
 30.03.2014
For future mothers:

xxx: Hi everyone, I don't know why but I am worried that I am giving birth before 38 weeks, to some fear of childbirth, please tell me how with this beard
Yyy: You would take your time and thoughts to do something more useful than thinking about premature birth. The grammar of the Russian language, for example.
Zzzz: So that’s not how to roast, right? I can't think about the problem of the topic, only about this beard now and they also say: we are egregious, we are angry, we don't help... everything, I'm in the car, left... beard

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №96020
 30.03.2014
to this
Schwarzenegger was included in the list of enemies of Crimea. It is the Crimean ?

Chuck Norris, a friend of Crimea

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №96019
 30.03.2014
“Len, can I get your money in lease?”
Come on!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №96018
 30.03.2014
Question to the wise advocate of obscure gynecologists: How many births could have been provided that there were births and there was only one pregnancy?? to

It is not a fact that the pregnancy was really single.
The next question is: Are there abortions? The disappearance? The outsiders? And only then is the conclusion made about the actual number of pregnancies - times, and about the intellectual safety of the patient - two.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №96017
 30.03.2014
xxx: It turns out when the light is cut out at home - it is not a JEK wave and no wires are cut off. The Earth Hour.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №96016
 30.03.2014
Why do I love NOD32? I bought a F.E.A.R. disc. 2 (Pirate, I repent), set up and went to drink tea. When he returned, the installation was completed, but the game did not start, citing the lack of the desired file. Repeated several times, the same problem. Changed the disc in the store - and again trouble. Disappointed, I threw the disc into the closet. Only because of this I did not fail the upcoming test. And as it turned out, NOD32 removed the crack from the game every time, and as I left, the message about it had already disappeared. So, I can say, he saved my life. And you say "crazy"...

[ + 24 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №96015
 30.03.2014
Listener (C): Question to Armenian Radio: How to return Crimea to Ukraine?
Armenian Radio (A): There are two options: realistic and fantastic. Which to start?
C is fantastic!
A: NATO, at the request of Ukraine, begins the operation in Crimea "Storm in the Glass".
Q: So how realistic is it?
All other regions of Ukraine are joining Crimea

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №96014
 30.03.2014
x: I repaired the graphic tablet, so I will not finish art in the future, don't wait.
A: What about him? I am in the plans of Nub Nub.
X: the response of the working surface.
A: Is it how?
x: for example, the smuugle tool works with a delay and not in that area.
A: I did not understand anyway.
x: Well, how would you explain... Well, see: for example, you are typing a SMS on your smartphone "translation", so little that you have the typed characters on the screen displayed in 3-4 seconds, and yet your device changes you "translation" to something like "drive".
I have an iPhone, I’m used to it ?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №96013
 30.03.2014
to this
Initials of the teacher V.V. Right, as everyone immediately unambiguously guessed, - Valery Valentinovich)))
--------
But here you have another rebus... we have at our department Professor Beher V.V. Well, how, hardly immediately understand who it is and how to decrypt? She? she? Students, "especially active in the semester", hit :) This is a girl and her name is Veronica Visaryonovna :)

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №96012
 30.03.2014
The Decider:

What is common between barley and milk (that barley drinks milk is not the correct answer).
– – – – –
Eggs and milk can collapse.

And how can six-year-old urban children who grew up on asphalt and with sterilized milk in refrigerators know this?


[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №96011
 30.03.2014
The child (10 years old):
What kind of actor does Chuck Norris play?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №96010
 30.03.2014
When the heart is heavy and cold in the chest,
Take the foil and turn the hat out of it.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №96009
 30.03.2014
In bed with a girl. The matter goes to the underwear, I look at the trousers, I think about the ban on circular cowards, and I tell her about it. What does the girl answer: "What, to film?) )" and
Peace, love and cats!

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna