bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №16243
 04.05.2009
I am actually a chemist. But after a whole week in the evenings sat down until the night with various acquaintances and not very, reinstalling, cleaning, setting them comps, thought about growing a beard.

and II. When I was six years old, I was fascinated by chemistry and programming. And here, one of my acquaintances, while I was putting her antivirus, told such a story. Her girlfriend recently got a new boyfriend. Well, no wool, no look, only wickedness. A little boy. But the girl said that he was a spirit guy, does not drink, in addition, does not smoke. And her mother, a devoted rational woman, decided to scratch the guy. Time is hot. They went to the cave to dig. And this little boy turned out to be a powerful man. In 2.5 hours, he digged all 5 cents on his own. Well, in the evening, the girl decided to offer a prize to the hero: let's, say, we'll have sex. And here is this monster of excavation, just turning up the bottom of how many cubic meters of land, naively says, "Oh, and I can't." They will soon have a wedding.

P.S Interesting work of computers =)

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №16242
 04.05.2009
Conversation in nature:
M: This is when the witches make arrangements, it’s called "shabash". Interestingly, and when sorcerers there are all sorts of, witches - men - slightly arranged, is there a name for this?
The fishing...

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №16241
 04.05.2009
A friend is engaged in the installation of video surveillance systems.A cat lives at his house.Something he decided to put a camera to see what the pet is doing in his absence.The pet was interested in watching the process of establishing a total video control of his person...In the evening it turned out that a useful recording of about 20 minutes.All this time the creature stubbornly bit the wires of the camera...We sit guessing what she is doing in his absence.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №16240
 04.05.2009
Jlou: Only the hopper on the Nevsky Avenue could say, “I am not you, I am you!” – in the hearts to throw a foot and throw a hat on the ground.

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №16239
 04.05.2009
The real explanation of Sisadmin:

I, FIO, do not laugh at the lack of intellectual abilities of our chief. The reason for my laughter when serving her workplace is due to entirely different reasons. After increasing, at her request, the size of the system fonts, some of the inscriptions stopped entering the boundaries of the windows. So, the inscription "This utility helps to find duplicate files" turned into the inscription "This utility helps us".

Date and signature.

[ + 66 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №16238
 04.05.2009
And who else regrets that he did not sleep in the kindergarten during the quiet hour?

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №16237
 04.05.2009
Here is the generation of ducks who make an offer through the aska...

[ + 39 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №16236
 04.05.2009
The book, by the way, came out.
He: And how is it, your book?
She: Well... paper is good, painted... pleasant to touch...)
He: I would touch your paper, especially from the back. The volume of the publication is large.)
She is: Oh yes! Third Dimension
You have such a beautiful cover! I want to feel the depth of your creativity.
She: Take me for a mess! kiss in the title sheet))
Q: How much does the book cost?
She: She is invaluable. Better not to buy, but to take in the library. There are not many readers yet, so the pages are not shaken at all.))) If you like - keep yourself. It will delight your eye on the shelf in your room))
The reader is interested)

[ + 58 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №16235
 04.05.2009
<xxx> I found a cure for unhappy love!
<yyy> on batteries?)

[ + 78 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №16234
 04.05.2009
Jyzi (09:10:32 24/08/2007)
The devil from 5 years behind the comp, and the current of the day understood that the pages of the mono scroll the gap 0_o
I’ve been 20 years old, and I’ve started to scratch. I also found out today.
So many of us?
Jyzi (09:10:57 24/08/2007)
I also found out what I know, oh.
Sergey (09:11:13 24/08/2007)
Same as!
Sergey (09:11:38 24/08/2007)
A shift, a gap in the reverse.
Drone
I’ve been sitting behind the compass for 10 years... I’m in Ah.E. O_O

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №16233
 04.05.2009
XXX: So is it.
“Today at 2 p.m. my father wakes me up and asks, ‘Do you want tea?’ I tell him that not. After that, he says that he is not there, he is like the current that has finished, and with a wild goat runs to his room.
by O_O
He’s in the room, I’m in shock sitting on the bed.

[ + 84 - ] Comment quote №16232
 04.05.2009
I have been programming at home for two weeks. My girlfriend is not working and is also sitting with me at home. By the end of the second week, the brain begins to boil. She comes to me tonight.
She: I am bored!
I am UGU...
Continue to work
She: I can ask you something.
I : of course!
She: Don’t be surprised!
I am: well...)))
She:... and drag me by my feet around the apartment...
O_O

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №16231
 04.05.2009
XXX is
You and I are very important.
YYYY
I am from the pit)
XXX is
I am from TUI.
YYYY
Pita and Tui

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №16230
 04.05.2009
More about cakes.
Remember, when my son was small, my wife (and his mother at the same time) read the fairy tale of Heydar many times at his request. The times were difficult (the 90s), with foods and sweets was tight. When they reached the point where Malchiš-Plohish was sold for a box of cookies and a bowl of strawberries, the son shouted joyfully:
And I too! I want to go to the cursed bourgeoisie.
What annoyed my mother...

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №16229
 04.05.2009
A short list of games you can play with a cat
Power plant: the cat takes his legs, lies on the side on the couch, better off, and we begin to extract electricity.
Harmony: the cat takes the legs, the front in one hand, the rear in the other, and you need to connect them when the cat exhales, very fascinating.
Lesson of humility: while feeding a cat with a favorite snail when he approaches the bowl, you push him away from the bowl, saying something affectionate, repeat until it gets bored.
Disorientation: Catch the cat by chasing the beam from the laser clue, and try to make it knock on the wall. Requires a certain drawing and laminate floor

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №16228
 04.05.2009
Zombiracer: Oh you are paranoid.
zombiracer: village, dust, reserve
Zombiracer: 4 km around no living soul.
Zombiracer: does not take any cellular operator
Zombiracer: does not take any radio and telecast.
Zombiracer: The rabbits and cocks walk there and there without punishment.
Zombiracer: I accidentally wrinkle wifi on the notebook
Zombiracer: and I see there someone’s encrypted grid O_o
Zombiracer: besides mine

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №16227
 04.05.2009
Answer from the immigration website:

How to Get Dutch Citizenship

ANSWER: Under the law of the Kingdom of the Netherlands, you can get taxation (May God save Queen Beatrix). But if (according to the old Russian custom) you make a revolution and change the constitutional monarchy into a parliamentary or presidential republic, you can also get citizenship. Warning: It is long and expensive! Pay it, we will do it!
__________

I am in Houston.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №16226
 04.05.2009
from ZH:

sokolovpe
Standing on the lightforest, seeing how the tape was distributed last year, one driver asked the guy who distributed the tape: "Who commanded the western front?" and having the eyes opened, he added: "Please tie this tape to yourself."
I am solidary with him.

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №16225
 04.05.2009
TheGREAT: TNT says 35 million people are watching House 2.
Maxpaney: It is done!We were able to count the number of idiots in Russia!!! to

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №16224
 04.05.2009
A-SIN
Meeting friends on the shore.

A-SIN
They drink vodka.

A-SIN
One of them poured out all of them, gave them their cups and said:
Well we went...

A-SIN
Ment comes from nowhere and says:
Drink and we go...

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