Ohhhhhh I have been looking for a plan for my apartment.
Ohhhhhh until the guests came and out of the bathroom, it was said: "No, well, you are completely squeezed!"...

Still stupid was the idea of a girl who painted her nails hanging a sign "Carefully painted!"

Don’t worry the Russians. We in Ukraine once tried as a shower, and it still worked out as always.

News on RBC: In the Moscow psychiatric hospital for the EP voted 93% of voters.

A: Let me tell you how to raise the mood *O*
M is sex.
Q: Are there other options?
M: No, it always helps me.
I don’t have a guy o"
M: You won’t believe...

Just announced on the TV channel Russia 24, in the Rostov region for EDR voted 58%, for KPRF 33%, for LDPR 24%, for Sprava... Stop! 58% + 33% + 24% = 115%>100%! The WTF?? to

It’s just 115% in Rostov.

Dead souls can also vote ?

Tractor_Bang
Going to pour tea, it was 45.9% in the ER. I’ve been back with tea – 47 percent. You cannot leave them without attention for a moment. No tea tomorrow.

Congratulations to everyone "Congratulations" on the election of Schrödinger! Everyone voted for and against at the same time!

I’m going to watch a two-hour movie at half four in the morning, the next day to work. I say to myself:

I would sleep in your place.
You are not mine, I answer myself.
It is yours, shit!

I decided that it was better to go to bed, or even before the separation of the personality is not far away.

Q: How are your friends called?
Tagged: love
Tagged: love
Tagged: sweetheart
Tagged: goat
Do not be foolish.)

According to the latest data, the most downloaded song on the Internet in the period from December 4 to 5: Leningrad-Elections,Elections

I never understood why people watch porn.
You can watch it online!!! to

The programmers on the assembler are so harsh that instead of commenting after a point-of-the-fifth, they write the code in C++.

I forgot to go to the election, so I apologize to the whole country and if there is still a mess in the country, I am ready to admit that it is my fault.

Why do cafes and restaurants clean up menus?
222: Not to bother at the table. A normal restaurant has a website and a normal restaurant has the internet. You go to the site, look at the menu and do not hurt the brain, neither yourself nor people.
333: Oh, soon you will not have to leave the house - the dishes will be pumped directly into the stomach via the Internet.
444: Gastritis begins from the Trojan.
333: Eye, batenka - from the Trojan helminthiasis will begin :(
555: Your rectum is blocked! To unlock the rectum, send SRAT SMS to 1234

XXX: Do not dissolve the cava of other people.

My wife was lying down, and I was in another room in the net of a buck... I hear a whirling, and such a weak voice: “Wooow!” I approach, I think, or bring water, or get into the lobby...
And he asks:
What is reversible and irreversible encryption?
......

My husband is of Estonian origin. We watched with him somehow the movie "Travel to America", with Eddie Murphy in the main role.Well there is one of the last episodes where Eddie Murphy(E) persuades the girlfriend(D) to marry him.
D: But you didn’t tell me you’re actually a prince!
E: I didn’t say this because I wanted you to love me as I am.
The cinema goes on. My husband, looking me in the eyes, said:
Kat, I am actually the King of Estonia. And I didn’t tell you this because I didn’t want you to love me as I am, and I didn’t want you to leave me.
:D

From the Dating Site:

He is 32 years old: Hi. to talk?
She, 28 years old: greetings
How is the mood? and ;)
She: Good and you
She: What do you do
She: You probably realized I was stupid.
O_O
c) Datakeeper

HH: He is a fool. "Picked to the carrier, I made the bottles with the flame mixture - we leave."
Fuck, I’ve been there for over an hour. They came, and he with such a pleasant lily from the package gets these bottles...Plastic!