bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 81 - ] Comment quote №42756
 05.02.2011
You feel a loser only when you get up from bed at night, think that you are a cat, you cross a cat, you stumble on another cat, you fall and at the same time you realize that the first cat was a tap.

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №42755
 05.02.2011
xxx (19:16:00 3/02/2011)
fucking

yyy(19:16:10 3/02/2011)
? to

xxx (19:16:34 3/02/2011)
Yesterday before sleep chewed the chewing gum.... put on a sleeve... while sleeping the fucks this chewing gum somehow found the meey in his asses on his ass.... the stitch went to the push.. removed the cowards and fucking!!! The ass almost broke off.

xxx (19:16:37 3/02/2011)
Hair is broken

xxx (19:16:41 3/02/2011)
This fucking pain.

yyy(19:16:51 3/02/2011)
blue *ROFL* *ROFL* *ROFL*

[ + 74 - ] Comment quote №42754
 05.02.2011
I don’t have an IBD anymore.
Has the pipe broken?
XHHH: No one has left my squats yet.

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №42753
 05.02.2011
I work in a battery factory. I charge cargo ACBs at 180 per approach.
And they are charged on German equipment, which is less familiar with a person 2 from the whole factory, it has the particularity that it cannot interrupt the charging cycle, or all the ACBs.
And that’s how I was prompted to charge it all at night.
And in the factory only I give guards, help wait from nowhere, responsibility captain. Well, I shortened the composts and joined everything together, checked every little thing 10 times. Started the cycle - 6 hours passed, everything is OK. And here I am in a half-dream I notice that on one of the comps the mouse cursor went to the upper left corner of the screen (the mouse glimpsed), and just stretches to the button "STOP PROCESS" - not freely caught myself on the thought - "Just try the SUKA!" Rjal then alone on the whole workshop

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №42752
 05.02.2011
XXX: What is it?
This is a porn site.
This black screen scares me. I have no antivirus.
Well soon the blue screen will scare you)))
HH: So what then? Is it clean there?
This is a porn site! There is only clean in the rolls with the maids ?

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №42751
 05.02.2011
I understand why skins are not very good guys.
WOW :?
Because of them, the Nigerians win the race.

[ + 82 - ] Comment quote №42750
 05.02.2011
The Russian Folk Tale:

The official decided to do a good thing for the people, took the money from the budget for 200 bags of cement for construction and went to buy... he goes and thinks: and what if the price rose while I went, I will buy 180, and I will tell everyone that 200! He comes to the director (designated by the owner) at the factory and says: I buy 180 from you, but put the price as 200! Fucking question, but I would have something too! As a result, 160 was bought at the price of 200 and sent to construction... the head of the site decided to build the landscape: the result is 150! I tried to find out that the starting part of the sperm 10 bags decided that I am not red too: the result is 140! At night, a friend came to the guard and drank nothing: the outcome is 138! A little Tajik scratched a tail, but still came up with how from 138 bags to make 200 and build a kindergarten! and :)

The story is a lie, and there is a hint in it.

[ + 92 - ] Comment quote №42749
 05.02.2011
I am standing in the morning in a terrible traffic jams on the Kashirka-Warszawa. Again I did not sleep, dirt on the road and traffic jams tired, work tortured, shorter everything was bad. I take the phone, and there "Connect to the wi-fi network "Putin-mudak"" And my mood has improved)))

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №42748
 05.02.2011
Beginning of semester.
The teacher, having made the introductory word, said:
"Well, this was a small prelude".

The Single Group:
"Yes, and now our brains will be fucking full"

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №42747
 05.02.2011
What quality of products can be said if the head of OTC has the name Halturin?

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №42746
 05.02.2011
XXX is gifted. How are you after yesterday?
YYYYYYYYYYYYY Remember we went to the shore tonight? It immediately seemed suspicious.
XXX: I remember, and what about her?
I didn’t get it. xD
XXX in the meaning?
YYY: Well how can you explain... Have you ever swept your ass?


[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №42745
 05.02.2011
Photo from the New Year's ball-masquerade, which depicts two girls in oriental costumes. Signature: "Nefertiti and Shakerezada"
First comment: "There are, rather, four nephertiti and two shakerezads!"

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №42744
 05.02.2011
I dreamed of my ex!
It is 100% for money.
The class! Why do you think so?
Because shit always dreams of money.

[ + 83 - ] Comment quote №42743
 05.02.2011
We have a new employee and he has the name Nebadze.
is catastrophe

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №42742
 05.02.2011
Russia for Russians. Moscow for the Moscowis. A call to the teacher.

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №42741
 05.02.2011
I sit, I read "Chernovik" Lukyanenko. I live, I must say, alone. 26 years. Suddenly the phone rings, the display - "The number is hidden". I pick up the phone with a trembling voice. at the end: "Paul, we call for work". Here I became uncomfortable.

[ + 87 - ] Comment quote №42740
 05.02.2011
I sit with my sister and watch TV.
Suddenly she begins to roast wildly, I ask, he said, "what do you roast?" and she says, "I imagined a rabbit in a swimming hat."
Well, we laughed, then we sit, five minutes passes, she rushes again, I ask - "what, now the hunter in the swimming cap presented?", and she - "no, imagine, the rabbit in the swimming cap sits and the cake eats";.
I don't know anything about my sister O_o

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №42739
 05.02.2011
The main problem with democracy is that voting and voting are the same thing.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №42738
 05.02.2011
Upper and lower
I’m an avid fisherman and every ten years, “wine and lay,” I have to go somewhere fishing.
I have been fishing at least four times in my life.
This summer I went to the Shatsky Lakes near Kovel. There’s good, the trolls and all that.
But I did not catch fish there every day, mostly swimming and burning.
Here I am lying on an inflatable mattress, reading a book.
Near a wooden bridge, two meters wide, further behind the bridge, under the umbrella hides from the sun an old grandmother with a fisherman of five years.
Two other fishermen were conveniently placed on the bridge.
Each has a bunch of snails, the ass rests on the folding chairs, I envy to watch the fishing business move forward.
Two of my fishermen back, even in the USSR, no one has seen such intricate spinings.
Although the technology of catching has not changed very much: a heavy cargo, two or three hooks with worms, all this farm is thrown away by spinning as far as possible, the hose is stretched and waiting. In the past, thirty years ago, we attached a wooden clamp to the clamp, so as not to cut the clamp, now it is probably kevlar clamps with aluminum spray, but the essence is the same...
The men are not familiar with each other, smoking silently depicting indifference, and only jealously pull their necks when the neighbor climbs into the garden to his fish.
One came with a daughter of seven years old, the other with a pudel of fifteen years old, both just over forty and both thick like half-blown inflatable balls.
One cried, he skillfully cut and quickly pulled the hooks with nothing...
The other smoked tolerantly.
The first fixed the worm and that is, he threw a twenty-meter spin, but not very successful: his leash lay above the neighbor’s leash, five meters from the shore. He said through his teeth dissatisfied:
“Hey fucking, your hand slipped, now you’d need to stretch out your hand.
Spinning from below me, or I’m from above. If I am going to shake, I will shake.
Hands your leash. So let’s...
The second:
“No, you’re so interesting, you’ve thrown your fist on mine, I’m sitting.
I don’t touch anyone and suddenly – should you see me wrap because he
“The Upper.” I don’t think, get rid of yourself.
Yes, I am “upper” and will always be “upper” in life, and if you have something
Don’t like it, smash your pups, take your dead dog and get out of here!
Did you say something? You said it to me or I didn’t hear it!!!? to

I postponed my book, convincing me once again that life is more interesting.

If you are deaf, my ears are a slit. Pick up your puppy.
Spinning, or I’ll put it on you.
One of them has already struck!!! to
And what, did you like it?
Oh, you were a piece of shit, I’m going to break you up for these words!! to

Well, finally, they went from boring words to deeds: they stumbled, grabbing each other for the maids. For a long time the wooden bridge had not experienced such immense loads.
The fat men pushed and stood up, trying not to fall into the water. On the side, they were like two poster tubes that did not share the poster.
The only thing that was unfortunate was that the little girl was afraid of her dad and began to cry, but to get into the struggle of other "Nana boys" was not yet wanted.
A whispering dog was running around the fighters and carefully biting his master’s legs.
One decided to do the back cut, he failed, but as a result, this whole meat structure fell on the bridge. The fight went to Parter.
The men were very difficult, it was seen from their dialogue:
The first man:
The Fuck...
The second man:
A... Sussuke...
They did not know how to fight or fight, and the worst thing that could happen to them was wild shortness of breath from hard work.
I was going to break them out to reassure the girl, but I didn’t have time.

The old woman did not endure.
She approached the bridge, crossed the fighters with curly legs, took their chairs and changed places, then changed places and spinings... and miraculously... the spines became parallel. Who could think!? to
The men, lying on the bridge, made a time-out in the struggle to watch the grandmother's movement.
The old lady, crossing back through the gladiators and returning to her grandson, whispered:
Healthy heads, and they can't decide themselves! Fuck to you! and how you
They haven’t killed each other in the city yet!!? to

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №42737
 05.02.2011
In some county city of M, in the old Soviet times, beer was sold for spill from fermented barrels.
The seller of a newly deployed barrel was attacked by an intelligent-looking uncle with a question
“How much do you want for a barrel of beer?” The representative of the Soviet trade named the amount, taking into account the lost profit, received the money and dropped it.
An intelligent man began to summon the suffering and to give free beer to everyone.
Ten minutes later, the morbidity began.
The arriving army of the militia bound the especially beaten and active, at the same time asking the intelligent uncle "What fucking."
“You see, young people, I’m very old and I obviously won’t live to communism. I really wanted to see how it would be.”

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