How I Hate Children Armed in the Background
Tag: small ergas
I am more angry with their parents.
WOW: The child is like the kernel of Linux, there is no reason to be upset that he is such an outcome, noises and runs, as the distribution was compiled from him, and works. Not the distribution shit, but the programmer’s hand out of his ass.

The daughter recently explained the meaning of the word "shell". Well, that’s how domestic animals are called, all that.
Then they watched her chase the cat, shouting, “Go here, cattle!”

I moved from one operator to another. Everything works, but the SMS doesn’t come. Call for support:
SMS doesn’t come.
- You need to change the number of the messaging center to the messaging center of the MTS, for this I will send you an SMS right now, - and throw the phone.

I think, what am I missing?
Another document proving identity.
We are a family with three children.
We went to Grandma. Close to Cam. We take sandwiches, a few diapers for the younger and... a folder with documents!
and two passports. Three birth certificates. Five of police. Five Snippets (which is too little!) Certificate of marriage registration. Two certificates of divorce - for both of us it is a second marriage. Certificate from the place of residence for children - there is no certificate in the birth certificate. Certificate of a large family.
And in a separate box - documents for the car - two rights, insurance, technical inspection, PTS...
There is INN somewhere.
Add us more documents for those who are unable to track their own passport!

The little girl announced that when she grows up she will become a princess.
I dressed here recently, dresses-bushes-bands, all that... In the evening, Daddy comes and, when he sees the very upset daughter, says:
Do princesses have such dirty legs? Go quickly change your clothes!
My daughter, I thought a little:
I decided to become an astronaut.

I read the safety technique in the instructions for the new utyug. The first paragraph in different languages:
English: "The plug should be taken out of the socket before filling water".
In Ukrainian: "Before filling water always switch out the device from the socket".
The same meaning, as far as I understand, in Polish, Bulgarian and other languages... but Russian!
In Russian: "Before pouring water put the fork in the socket" (!!!)
I don’t seem to like the mosquitoes.

You have a mouse hanging in your refrigerator! I am for products.

XHH: Why is it? Eat the mouse.

I can’t eat a mouse, it’s bad.

XHH: You’re saying it as if you’ve already tried it... Or do you mean it from a Christian point of view? Suicide, a bad mouse, will not go to heaven.

I just don’t eat mice.

I would have sat a month in the basement, I would have spoken differently. So it’s not a bad mouse, it’s just a bad guy. There is nothing to say about a poor animal. Especially when it comes to the dead, either good or nothing.

<nlum> I stood on the threshold of the "discovery", but it was Sunday and the "discovery" didn’t work.

XXX: I remembered how I had a case. As a pre-school child, I loved watching all kinds of educational programs in the afternoon: then there was, for example, a whole series of programs for students of evening schools, in which the whole school course of physics, chemistry, biology, etc. was dealt with from the ears, on the fingers and with concise examples. And here I sit somehow after watching another such broadcast on biology, I put a picture on the designer-panno. And a girlfriend came to my grandmother, let’s say, “Oh, what’s this for you?” It is the sea, right? This is a bandit, right? And the three-year-old girl is upset: “No, it’s a DNA molecule, but that’s the X and Y chromosomes.” My aunt didn’t even understand what I was talking about.

I have two TVs in my office. On the one, there are surveillance cameras from the Home Market shopping hall, and on the other, Euronews (often in noise mode). was working. I raise my eyes and look at the monitors. And there people in masks are robbing my market.

Briefly about his wife: shaved his legs, cut his nipple.

The problem with the Russian elite is not that they all steal there, but that they can’t do anything else.

All religions argue that paying evil for good is not good. God for this A-T-T and all that.
But the divine reward is a slow and painfully selective thing, so often you have to take the matter into your own hands.
There was one businessman, let’s call him Durkyssian. This Durkyssian kept the fuel, coffee and parking at the same time, on a not very busy, but still federal track. He considered himself the smartest. In the sense that instead of being equipped according to the requirements of the legislation, he took the money who needed it, and arranged as it was convenient for him. That is, putting the screw on the prescriptions not only sanitary and environmental, but also fire safety.
And striking on fire safety when you have so much gasoline under the side, it’s crazy. Therefore, when in the hot summer, the grass on the sidelines burned from the smoke, and by the wind it all went to the refuelling, it turned out that from the fire extinguishing tools only a fireplace. In the pants...
Well, the sand, which was touched, but the fire was also touched, because dry and rubbish around nobody killed, of course.
In general, when the firefighters arrived, the gas station was already swollen, the goods were decorated with cheap plastic, which not only delights the eye with bright flowers, but also burns no less beautifully.

- And where are you, dear, the hydrant, or, at the bad end, the fire reservoir? The firefighters asked a stupid question.
No to! I pulled Durkheim’s hands.
And why?
So very expensive! I am a poor man, don't look at what I drive on a BMW, I saved everything I could to build this temple of gasoline and solar.
“This we see,” the firefighters whispered, and went to fill the fire with what they brought with them.

This, however, was not enough, and very much - while they were driving for the supplement, the tanks fell and the question of saving the refueling plant no longer stood. The forest and the village would not burn.

And here, as is known, at the last moment, the Army came to help the firefighters. Not all of course, but a part, in the person of the praporshka Kukushka, nicknamed so for the habit of catching fighters who love to "push on the mass" in shady corners, with a scream: "Ku-ku, fucking!“And the shame.
Kukushka headed the cistern column, and Zampotech, on the occasion of such a fun, personally piloted the Engineering Destruction Machine, abbreviated - IMR. Well, and the "Ural" with armed blades and bagrels fighters.
All this army, perceiving the fire as a fun variety in the midst of the army routine, escaped the forest fire that hadn’t had time to start, turned the lush loaf in front of the village into a boring swamp and settled with interest on the roaring fountain of flames at the site of refuelling.

Durkysyan, running in circles, teared his hair and begged to save at least the cafe and the parking lot.
Zampotech consulted with the firefighters, and, striking the lock on the combat, went to the assault.
The plan was simple - to pour out the flame from the ground was meaningless, and to wait until it would burn itself - long and unsafe. Army tanks, of course, are large, but not bottomless, and for a long time to water the surroundings, in order to avoid fires from the fierce heat, it would not work with all the desire.
So Zampotech, enjoying the fact that the IMR, in essence, is a tank with a coffin, and, as a tank can withstand a lot of things and protect as long as possible, first grabbed the elevated shaft of the earth before the tanks, and then squeezed it on the pillar of fire that hit them.
Firefighters quickly extinguished the rest and departed, leaving Durkysyan to burn on the ashes.

It was burning, but not for long - after some time, the Combat was called from the prosecutor's office and stated that Durkysyan filed a lawsuit with the Ministry of Defense. According to him, Zampotech with his IMR, in the dust of the battle with the fire, crushed a piece of refuelling, in which there was a safe, and in that safe - Asian millions earned by hard work.
The fact that the gasoline could get under delivery, Zampotech did not deny - from it at the time left only a crooked stake, and the visibility was not to the limit, so the Ministry of Defense, scratching the head, wanted to go to the world, and pay Durkysyan compensation, but he, feeling the easy money, stunned, and the amount of damage by jumping increased 100 times (I seriously - no jokes) from the originally stated. Apparently I decided that if the state pays, we should try to take as much as possible.
The military was shaken from such greed, and sent Durkysyan on three letters, and specifically - to the Court, where he was required documents confirming that such a sum could be in that safe, at least theoretically. The man, realizing that he was exaggerated, tried to pretend to be a vetoche and stated that all the documents were destroyed in the fire, but he can provide a photo taken in the same gasoline, where in the background, between him and Uncle Karen, the unfortunate safe is visible, and once the safe was, then there was money.
The judge sent Durkysyan with such evidence on three other letters and closed the case.
And it seemed like it was over, but, as they say, "The sediment remains."

So, why did I start with the reward?

At night, the residents of the apartment house were awakened by a terrible thunderstorm and a warning warning. Unknown offenders broke into the roof, and dropped on the BMW car, belonging to the citizen Durkysyan, a sealed safe, which broke the cap and rolled the engine into the asphalt.
On the side of the safe, a large handwriting read, “Here’s your box, Flint fucking!”
Inside the safe were found documents on the name of Durkysyan and his LLC, as well as banknotes and coins worth about a thousand rubles.

Durkysyan himself claimed that he had seen two people on the scene of the accident, suspiciously similar to the praporshka Kukushka and Zampoteh, hiding on a white "six", suspiciously similar to Zampotech's car.
However, the inspection was established that at this time Kukushka and Zampotech stood in clothes, did not leave the territory of the unit for a minute, were in sight all the time and even closed in the toilet, continued to maintain voice contact, giving instructions through the door. The entire staff of the dresses, as well as the duty in part, are ready to confirm this under oath.
Zampotechov's "six" also did not go outside the gate of the unit: the praporchnik Ahmed...sov swore to the prophet's beard that at about the time when the safe fell, he was sitting and smoking right on it. He even rushed to show a spot on the hood wiped in dust by his pants, and dirt on the pants themselves.

The attackers were not found, but a safe was found. Having dropped the amount of cash in it, with the amount indicated in the claim, the prosecutor’s office scratched in the back of the head and brought an accusation of fraud against Durkysyan.

Interestingly, and in the women's dressing rooms is a harmful grandfather-cleaning worker, who replies to the naked girls who crave from him: "Oh, why didn't I see there?"

You cannot drink for six months.
The Alcohol?
I want to answer wisely, but I can’t.
So yes, alcohol is

XXX: Todoist is a troll
xxx: when in the notification you see the text "4 tasks for today, 28 years...", the most obvious version of decryption does not seem at all "delayed"...

My wife and I have a daughter (9 months), the background is played by the radio.
I: Do you think it’s not too heavy for small music?
Wife: Heavy music is "My favorite name"!!! Metallica "The Unforgiven"

XXX: Don’t give me any more references to church news
xxx: I now have a lamp oil in contextual advertising

Dear, you have to put the salt in the sauce, and the lid is gone. opened up.
mmm: Print a new salmon on a 3D printer.
I like the old one. I just need to put a little sludge.
mmm: Print on the printer foam and foam
But we have normal squirrels!
MMM: They are buried in a huge pile of sludge on the balcony!
Burn: Print the spade on a 3D printer and dig them out, right?

You are wrong. In the event of a sharp transition to the hollow energy, the economy of all people will collapse.
If you don’t have a car, that doesn’t mean you won’t be affected by the increase in gas prices.

Give at least one reason why this should happen. Because it will be possible to produce more, especially what is now considered as unprofitable due to energy consumption, logistics will become cheaper and more affordable. It will be possible to pair with the environment almost without losses, and this is an immeasurable long-term plus to the working capacity of the population. Even simply from cheap energy everyone benefits, except for a few people who actually trade in expensive energy carriers and are unable to re-profile for more than 20 years.