bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №92167
 07.01.2014
Twenty-five years with three children.! to
WOW : Yes. The difference is 1.5-2 years. Is something bothering you?
I am afraid to ask, do you know about contraception? The condoms, for example.
I always have sex with them.
Here is the place in more detail...
WOW: Not in that sense.
HH: And now I’m intrigued :)

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №92166
 07.01.2014
xxxh: I am standing in the supermarket at night - I scratch the shopping at the box office, and behind the security guard after the change begins to knock something in the box office and I hear such a jerk on the tape and his phrase to a colleague at the box office: "Well, here is the salary received, look like this! ". I start to guess what’s on the tape? The whiskey? The black Icarus? I turn around, and there is a paper bag with a spice of crop, shit, I thought I would break right there, humorous :)))

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №92165
 07.01.2014
xxx: What are Japanese people important in general except for pedophile pornography - anyone knows?
Yyy: They have good statements from the people about life, man, nature. I personally remembered this: "High-esteem and ignorance always go side by side."

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №92164
 07.01.2014
What is the soundtrack? He takes the soul, but Shazam does not recognize it.
YYY: I have shazam writes: "Again such a shit - stop us!"

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №92163
 07.01.2014
AA: Imagine, at the end of March, in Italy +15-18, and somewhere there in the vast areas of Sweden minus 20 and snowfall. And here is a girl sitting in her own house at the compass with a cup of tea and notices that the neighbor, stealing looking around, with a spade from her yard to himself the snow is thrown.

BB is class! Well, they have intrigues there in Sweden, who could think. The Scandinavian detectives came in. I'm not going to sleep now, I'm going to think why the neighbor stole the snow.
Chetta wanted to go in the next rains and in the darkness to boil the water from the drain from the terrace. Let them die of curiosity.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №92162
 07.01.2014
Recently, the husband had to repair the desk and he had to put something there. There is a knock on the door. It opens, on the threshold is a new neighbor from below, so to speak, under the closet. It should be added that since they settled, they have had time to show themselves. Following this dialogue:
Neighbor: What do you do here, we have a small child. It makes up to ten noises.
Have you seen time? It is six o’clock in the evening.
I am your new neighbor, I warned you!
When you argue with your wife at three o’clock at night, you don’t care that you have a small child. Next time I will call the police without warning.
Neighbor: Maybe I will be dressed!
Husband: Here you will come!

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №92161
 07.01.2014
Habr: Google has created an automotive alliance
The alliance consists of Google itself, automakers GM, Honda, Audi and Hyundai.

iXCray: If only Tesla Motors did not join, then fuck you, not 300 miles without recharge)

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №92160
 07.01.2014
Everyone is delighted to see the Hobbit. Stop quoting about it. They bite.

[ + 35 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №92159
 07.01.2014
Ukraine and Russia - standard of living: extreme

Comentary: The cowboys are already trying to overthrow the boss, and we can’t get through the first level!

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №92158
 07.01.2014
user334: Entered the confident offline zone

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №92157
 07.01.2014
We travel through Australia. Set up a navigator. The navigator settled and said in a human voice:

Drive straight away. After 1200 kilometers turn to the left.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №92156
 07.01.2014
xxx: Instagram stopped working on Inet from Megaphone. The rest works. Do you have this?
YYY: You can’t eat? ^ ^ ^

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №92155
 07.01.2014
Students burn: one stated with the topic of the course "Orc Genocide in the works of D. Tolkien and N. Perumov". I look forward to the May holidays when this net will fall to my feet.

[ + 35 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №92154
 07.01.2014
This is:

He grew up...
This is when you realize that a fresh everyday shirt, lovingly squeezed by the wife, acts on the girlfriend at work not as a red patch on the bull, but as a red sign of STOP c clutch wire and mine stretches! and :(
and----

I married...
WASMUDEL is when your wife brushes your shirts with love every day, and you cry about the inaccessibility of other people's holes.
Get divorced! You’ll be sexy and attractive again.
It is a pity that such a business has gotten such a shit.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №92153
 07.01.2014
SenatoR: Whenever I see that another female person has put out a "aboy" with a male person in an embrace, I want to write in the comments: "Yes baby, now everyone believes that this idiot exists!"

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №92152
 07.01.2014
On the page with the video "Spring in X" youtube recommends the _like_ video "Film TRACTORISTS" of 1939.

I am even intrigued.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №92151
 07.01.2014
here here :

Olympiad in Computer Science: wolf, goat, cabbage and commander participate in the space program. You need to transfer them to the station with the help of a two-seat crew.
____________________________

Is it incomprehensible? Cabbage into a goat, goat into a wolf, a wolf with a commander in place and forward.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №92150
 07.01.2014
junique: We’re calling @hyhax this morning, who at that moment ran boldly to the office 50 meters from us and we’re saying, “We’re chasing you.” He suddenly went even faster. The phone number was not determined.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №92149
 07.01.2014
If you somehow got into "DeLorean" suddenly, then you would probably immediately be interested in the Lambda light icon (λ) on the dashboard.

I would think a thousand times about DeLorean before pressing anything without Brown’s permission. Even if you do not speed up to 88 miles per hour. Lightning... 1.21 gigawatts... thunderstorms! And you’re already in 1985, but it might even be great. I would have eaten a Soviet plumbing, would have walked through Moscow free from advertising and bullshit, from all the windows of Modern Talking))) Well, it's okay, it's all lyric. What if it collapsed in 1885? =) is

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №92148
 07.01.2014
bbb: I'm so angry right now!!! Why people do that? Don't piss me off...
ddd: so I want to talk to you in English, but all I know is "sak may dic", but you are unlikely to agree.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna