Everyone who writes here about -it, -it, and other things about the Russian language reminds me of an anecdote:

The thief broke into the bank.
to stand! It is robbery.
Voice from the turn:
- "Stand up" is a verb, a fool!

Judge: Why did you not comply with the demands of the police?
Navalny: We were surrounded and asked to break up.

O_O

On the subject of force majeure, a real treaty was sent with the content:... tornadoes, tsunamis, the collapse of the world economic and financial system, wars (local, international, unjust and just), military actions on land, on water, in the air and underground, not excluding interplanetary, intergalactic wars, as well as other military actions in space and beyond.

I sit, I work, I do not touch anyone, quietly and peacefully recording a letter for history in the database requesting confirmation of a diploma, the name of the holder of which is Drew. Then I watch for the work done and just as quietly slide under the table, for the short content reads: "The Request for the Teaching of the Tree."
But little of that! Signature on the document below: "Start. This is the case of Wendy".

Sophia 10:52
I presented her with broken hair.
When you enter the office, they develop.
by Marla 10:53
Yes, my hair is constantly growing, they already have a higher IQ than you.

From Twitter:
I sell a tent, 7 years, Kiev. A discount for Moscow.

Message in Russian, which was recently:

The opposition is conducting its DDoS attack on the police. Sooner or later, the departments will be overcrowded, which will cause a refusal to service.

Targitaj: Any phobia is a manifestation of inferiority/invalidity.
Ultra_X: So that’s a phobia, in this case we’re dealing with the wrong wording, and homophobia is not fear, but hatred.
Hate comes from subconscious fear and a latent predisposition to the condemned. What is...
Vladson: I hate eating cocktails, do I mean I’m afraid of cocktails and latent cocktails in general?

EDS: Avoid you!! to
Tagged: hello
EDD: Can you guess who I am?? to
Tagged: I guess
Lesta: minus derivative of magnetic flow

[18:01:31] Marina: but I go by I can make cakes and baking
[18:02:36] Anton: Better you mine did and knew how to cook cakes!
Marina is fucking fucking.

by 4319

The Winter. The farmer celebrates
He made a easy run.
He cried out, “What a fucker!? to
There was no snow yet!"

The controller from the GLONAS central panel calls and says, “I understand, of course, that the Gazelle car is good, but what does it do in the middle of the Black Sea closer to Turkey?”

XXX: Yeah, yes, a girlfriend makes her husband like this: frozen crab sticks treats on the thrash, plus a raw yichko, interrupts, and like crabs on the bowl. But it’s even worse than the cheese inside.)
YYY:...yichko, yichko, yichko... are you serious about it or are you talking about it? Reading is terrible. As well as the fried crab sticks.
XXX: I’m self-provoking, it’s written correctly – IITSO!

Today I took the exam at GAI.About 5 o'clock I waited for the turn, I fell into the car, tired, frozen.
Gaishnik: Tell the camera the name, surname, paternity, the car is provided for free.
I: This is such a name, the name is provided for free!
The man was hysterical :)

I watched Russian porn here, and when the girl said before she would have 3 boys "Curious guys dress your favorite", I almost cried.

If your cat likes to be confused, distracting and distracting, look at it carefully and say in a concerned tone, “Oh, great that you are here! I just really need your help..." What help, you can not say, because the cat will still immediately find its own affairs, much more important than yours. He will not be there for half an hour.
Wives: the method works on the husband too, tested several times.

Were the elections held at all? It would be simple to say to everyone: "The election was yesterday, you voted for the EP".

I heard that there was a riot in Moscow.
Motherland: What happened?
They say the king is not real!! to
Motherland: What did you not like about the movie? He is old!

Doping is when noticed, and yet not noticed - it is vitamins.

Recently, in Kiev, the Day of the Prosecutor’s Office was celebrated. leksuses and land cruisers on the parking lot are still in trouble, but when their music order for 90%+ entered the shanson headed by “Bratva, do not shoot each other”.
They are not burning, right?