bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №59854
 08.02.2012
A grandfather and granddaughter of ten years have groomed and rattled.
Grandfather begins to get out of himself and screams to her: “Oh, you are a swamp plague!”and "
The granddaughter suffocating from indignation tries to pick up the answer and begins "and you...", and you can see how the brain works feverishly, and here it is! "And you are my grandfather!and the curtains. When they laughed, the conflict vanished.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №59853
 08.02.2012
Commentary on the film "Patriot":
The most pleasant thing about this film is that blacks here don’t read rap, don’t trade drugs, don’t rob anyone and even work.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №59852
 08.02.2012
The Gala:
Just got into the bank, just pigs.

The Rose:
pigs in the bank... so that’s a bowl


[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №59851
 08.02.2012
Scientists managed to record the conversation of plants on a video camera
From the comments:
The fact that vegetables can communicate with each other is proven by any social network.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №59850
 08.02.2012
The zombie is burning. The morning advice.
So, what to do if you have an empty refrigerator (at this point really show an absolutely empty hall)? Can I make a soup? We take potatoes, carrots, onions and greens. Then add the conserve.
You can also make a light omelette. Stir a bit of potatoes, add cut sausages. All this is poured with eggs and the cheese is roasted abundantly from the top.
Self-contained refrigerator

[ + 43 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №59849
 08.02.2012
I sat quietly, peacefully. Then I was hungry. As in the fog.c) the alpha


[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №59848
 08.02.2012
Did you hear Andrew fall in love?
YYY is understandable.
yyy when you are chased by the military, took the rights to be drunk and have no place to live - a serious incentive is needed

[ + 59 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №59847
 08.02.2012
He found a 100% effective way to neutralize his wife. You feed her one seed, and put a bag with the rest in the reach zone. All of. The woman is neutralized.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №59846
 08.02.2012
"here you do not do the post" (c) one of the employees of the Russian Post addressing the outrageous turn of people about the slow work.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №59845
 08.02.2012
Letter from the Children's Health Camp to Parents:
Hello dear Mom and Dad. I am well. I have friends who beat me every day. Please take me away from here."

[ + 36 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №59844
 08.02.2012
I have a Samsung Galaxy smartphone, and every time I put it in my back pocket of jeans and forget about it, I sit on a chair... GOLAKTEKO DANGER!! 1

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №59843
 08.02.2012
Workaholics are when morning stands catch you already at work!

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №59842
 08.02.2012
I work in a shopping service abroad. Today we received a written message of the following content:

Good night!
I received a package from the United States today. No questions about the service - great job! thank you!
The question is: what is the emptiness in the package?
You have on the site said that "the emptiness in the packages is always covered with synthetic packaging material."
A small child took this "synthetic material" for corn sticks and, not thinking long, tasted a few pieces.
In a more detailed examination of these sticks, I also concluded that they are corn sticks - the color, smell and tactile sensations coincide (apparently, the rest - a comment from me).
Do you really use corn sticks when packing packages and can you not worry about the child?

You will not invent. I advised to consult a gastroenterologist - let the doctors laugh.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №59841
 08.02.2012
From Habr.
Discuss the new augmented reality glasses from Google.

Great, the microwave in the form of WiFi and Bluetooth was pushed to the eyes and brain to the maximum distance. Let’s see if there will be complaints of headaches at the first percentages.

YYY: You have a lead hat, fix it.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №59840
 08.02.2012
Yesterday I pulled the heater home from work, wanted to see where it was blowing all the time. Now I have a lot of pictures of a cat, his hottest is his face.

[ + 39 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №59839
 08.02.2012
at the store "Taj Mahal" hangs the advertisement of the exhibition - "Mark Shagal", did not hold up - below attributed - "Ivan Bukhal"..)))

[ + 42 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №59838
 08.02.2012
Committee on Finance, Tax and Credit Policy

Requirements: 18 years of age, higher education, 2 years of experience

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №59837
 08.02.2012
Maxim: Do you not think this hotel is not the best place for a first date? There was no personal meeting before.
I am not going to be alone.
With the carpenter?

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №59836
 08.02.2012
Cut out of the news "Warhammer 40K MMO is in development, but THQ needs help".

...THQ, according to its 2011 financial statements, is now not in the best position, which has led to company restructuring, dismissals and cuts in executive salaries (which may sound somewhat unusual for Russians).

The comments:

Well not very usual! At the point!
2.I would say - for the Russians (us xD) it is beyond the boundary of fantasy =)
I will say even more, for the Russians, the existence of the real universe of Warhammer is more likely than cuts in management salaries.

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №59835
 08.02.2012
On the hub comment about the DDoS attack on the router:
Chuck Norris stands up.

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