bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №148911
 08.02.2018
In general, in the ideal world now need to balance a couple of thousands... well, for decades at least, men are as afraid of rape as their centuries fear women. That’s all – did I not dress too frankly? Can I get out of the house in a maid-alcoholic, will I not provoke? Late in the evening in the courtyards, of course, I will not go... in the elevator with an unfamiliar woman - it is scary, the keys in the hand for self-defense are pressed. Aunt Zina in the country calls... she is, of course, a relative, but it is better not to risk. And, of course, the first thing for the son is "you can’t drink! Even in purely male companies. Don't give god, son, you will lose control - and there someone will call the grandmother, she will seduce you, who has stumbled. All in all, life is underway! Establishment of paternity, mandatory decree in half, alimony up to 18 years... take care of yourself, sons!
Then, of course, we talked about the status quo. 20 to 30 years. And now somehow more and more to talk full with the hungry seems.

[ + 15 - ] Comment quote №148910
 08.02.2018
What do I do

Three questions about men’s shoes:
1st And why?
Practice: If on the street below -20 - for heat. They are called "masculine", in essence from female will differ in the same way as male shavers from their sisters. There are no gender differences except color.
Aesthetics: One type of traditional women’s clothing is a piece of fabric that rotates the lower half of the body, short enough to demonstrate K. Men’s clothes are different. It is possible, as in the ballet, to declare K. not as 'under' but as an independent piece of clothing. It is filled with the evolution of pants into a subtype of salmon with the loss of erotic subtext. Or the Kilt. Under the slogan "The real bitterness of the wind in the bells is not afraid, choose 20days". It will allow women to admire men’s legs even in the cold season.
2nd What prevents women from wearing suitable sizes?
Stereotypes of public consciousness - clothing is one of the factors determining the perception of a person by other people. It is not only evaluated "beautiful and unbeautiful" but also "appropriate and inappropriate". Procrastination is a categorical correspondence.
Three How should men’s socks differ from women’s?
They should be written "men". A font, invisible, but large enough for the owner of the legs to believe it. Then, looking at his naked face, no one will come to the mind to doubt that this is a new trend, not a drunk bet!

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №148909
 08.02.2018
I worked in a cosmetic warehouse. There was a lot of interesting things, but the most brought the phrases of men of varying degrees of arrogance and brutality:

and Maiax! Where are the grape peelings?

Demon, bring me an anti-cellulite scraper.
in a minute
“Dimon, I said anti-cellulite for my ass, and you said for my body.

“Tol, give me all the goat milk that I have, I miss it.

Oil, butter, butter, tonic... who did it? and Vadim? How many times to say, here is only oil, the tonic has its place!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №148908
 08.02.2018
When I was born, there was no one at home. On the table was a note: “Milk in the refrigerator.”

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №148907
 08.02.2018
Why do you think the princesses are fucking?! to

They eat them, they eat them. and banal.

And virgins require for complete confidence that the spice in the form of male sperm will not be found in the food.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №148906
 08.02.2018
Admin of Basha! I smoke, obviously, what I can't do for a long time in Popeye. B. Fopyem needyobny, in kótopoum capit xaoc, pletchytcya coti cote cote cote cote cote cote cote cote cote cote cote cote cote cote cote. So why shouldn’t we be able to do this so that you and I can’t do it?
I would like to add a quotation of quotation. Chennai Madurai Salem Delhi Mumbai Pune Bhopal Trichy Tirupur coimbatore Cuddalore Dindigul Erode Kanchipuram Karur Nagapattinam Namakkal Perambalur Ramanathapuram Pudukkottai Thanjavur Theni Thirunelveli Thiruvallur Thiruvannamalai Kerala Vellore Virudhunagar Agra Gujarat bangalore Puducherry India Kolkata Hyderabad Madras Karnataka Answers can be issued ppimitivno - cvepxy-down, by xpoonology. Ppičem, take, take, jak and ceičac, každjajaja citata co vpeemeneem ymipaeet. Umipaeet gouldnaya - icchezaeet and ee ctpanice co wceimi otvetaimi (otherwise, that ctpanice would be gouldnaya in Bezdnaya years), ymipaeet otveta - on icchezaeet co ctpanice obcydzenie (as well as she is not gouldnaya). Pepexodia in Howye or in Lychee, citations of the outsiders are lacking.
You can do, you can do, you can do, you can do, you can do, you can do. Ho, in love clychae, eye ppošy, take care of this.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №148905
 08.02.2018
Not everything is a puddle that weighs

>> who will be the first to make fun of men's socks and pads, calling them "pedoric"?

Yes, a car of varieties of men's socks - starting from thermal underwear and ending with all kinds of biking and cycling. Why fight for them?
On the number of men's pads, I'm not aware - I know only sanitary and in various mechanisms. Not them?

[ + 37 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №148904
 08.02.2018
But Musk has come up with the best way to get rid of the corpse, and everyone is in front of him.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №148903
 08.02.2018
Ahah, I remembered how one day my mom and I attacked a very good bowl in the retail store and I wanted my husband to buy one, I liked the two most - with a deer and a retro car. I tell my mom, say, with a deer cool, but it won’t be the kind of “you are a deer,” you think? Mom was extremely surprised and said, “And with the car, you are a car, what?”
That read does not come to mind at all.

[ + 19 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №148902
 08.02.2018
Xxx: By the way, yes, and why do men not take hospital when a child is ill?
Where does this false infa come from? My husband went to the hospital with small children. It was more profitable so. He did not suffer from this unlike mine (my was much higher, etc.). Well, and profit in the form of improved understanding and deepening feelings to the doll.
The other issue is that this is more an exception than a rule.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №148901
 08.02.2018
He said right!

>> – Have you heard of it? Drunk, he walked into a tiger’s wheel. He broke through the fence, pulled off the net with a stick and tried to take a picture with the tiger. He was broken into pieces.
That’s what he needs, shameful.
Do not say that! This is Victimblaming! No one has the right to tear a person into pieces. It doesn’t matter if he was sober or drunk. It simply cannot be done!!! to

— — —
It is correct to keep these primitive wild animals locked in a cage away from people. Whoever does it is a samurai. And if they break out and not in a cage, but in a dark street attack or clamp into the club - shoot on the spot without a lawyer. They are not people, stupid cattle.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №148900
 08.02.2018
I was still studying in the universe. There was a lack of scholarships and I had to go to work. Set up in the totalizator at the point of sports betting to take. The salary is small, but a very convenient schedule. From some point on, a man of intelligence started betting, such as in glasses, with a portfolio and in a suit. In 8 out of 10 cases, his bets were won. The man can see that he understands precisely, and not from the bowl is betting.

I decided to play too. I made the same bet on my own behalf. The money went, and the phone was enough, and the pieces were new. You can say that this man with his stakes fed me all of my studenthood and two years later.

And then that man disappeared, maybe he found a point closer or something else. Without a man and his bets on the point, it became not interesting and not profitable to work, so I resigned.

It was the easiest money in my life.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №148899
 08.02.2018
xxx> In our time, mechanics is as atavistic as a horse. It’s like getting the pleasure of making the car with your hands.)
yyy> You will be surprised...

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №148898
 08.02.2018
Once they talked.

So that, given a wealthy aunt, you could not think about money, and that the aunts would find us themselves.

Kiev is ready to take the guy to perform the assignment function, in exchange for providing a rental hut and some amount of money for the spikes. The amount will depend entirely on the quality and variety of allocation. Requirements: brunette, age 20-27, height 190+, without a bluse. Blue eyes are an advantage. Seriously, keep the contacts.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №148897
 08.02.2018
- During the winter falls somewhere 40 kg of snow per 1m², if they don't sneak.
But he gets bored. Right from morning. Those who are tractors.

[ + 43 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №148896
 08.02.2018
All these winter fun.
HH: not mine
WOW: Yes
You just haven’t tried it.)
WOW: It is great!
Wow: and then wow, after skiing and in the bath, 50 grams of eggs under the cucumbers and in the stove, then you fly out so hot and dive into the snow! colic throughout the body, and running back into the steam under the wings, along the way do not forget 50 grams, so repeat 3 times
Then washed with shampoo, and at this time the fireplace is already burning and the strawberries are marinated.
We go to the house, there heat and the stove is melting, we sit down, we drink the ice night, we wait for a shale, a music on the background.
Q: When are we going out?? to

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №148895
 08.02.2018
“I am also looking for technical translators from banal English, any gender, even transgender, but only after performing a test task in the form of not the most complicated page from the documentation we actually got. Oh where are they? not there. Even if the candidates overdo even on our small salary.”
Those who at the beginning of the two thousand worked from 6 cents for the word of the original on projects of Microsoft, Intel, large IT vendors - never burn with the desire to work for a "little salary", and either work directly with customers, or have left the industry at all. Students and housewives come to you. They killed the market of qualified technical translators with rates, schemes of payment for coincidences and orders for machine translation - what are you crying now that no one of the professionals for three pennies wants to work, and who wants - you don't need it for nothing?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №148894
 08.02.2018
If you remove from the film "The Other World" all the fantasy about vampires and the reverse, it will remain the story about the conflict of Poles and Romanians.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №148893
 08.02.2018
I am a photographer, there is a lot of work that requires patience.

So it happened today, with the client picked a bench in the park with a beautiful background, noticed and headed to it.

But not here you were, out of 100 benches in the park, God's inflated was chosen for us.

Well, what to do, having decided to take another bench, went to equip. While preparing for the shooting, the client decided to try his luck and ask his grandmother to sit down.

Torture is not torture, then the client (K), grandmother (B):

Q: Good morning dear, please move to another bench, we need this for filming.

B: This is my bench.

Q: Okay thank you.

B: Okay man, I’ll sit down!

Q: is it true? Thank you more!

B: Thank you in your pocket, 5000 rubles!

The client turns and leaves.

B: Okay, well well 1000

Q: No thanks, we will do it.

After a failed attempt, we decided to take another. But then the grandmother stood up, came and sat down on our bench. We silently gathered and moved where we originally planned.

They went over, the grandmother stood up and came to the village. He talks cold. We are busy here, if you do not notice. To which we get a negative answer, and breathing, we go to the "cold" bench. Yes is. My grandmother stood up and came here. He talks hot.

So we go back :)

The picture repeated, but did not sit down, laying all the things on the bench. What got a portion of insults, what all the bad, and all the deeds. She turned and left.

After breathing with relief, I started working.

But our rest from old age did not last long.

I look at this person going with the security guards, already in the head started to roll, which she complained about :)

But this, I did not expect, the grandmother said that we stole 5,000 rubles from her.

The pirate stealed unnoticed, telling our version to the police, they fell into confusion, under the threat to smash the criminal, the grandmother confessed that we did not steal anything from her.

And here’s a bad scene, so does grandmother get a cigarette and smokes...

The law enforcement officials apparently realized that they had not been pulled out in vain, and they got papers and such things: “That’s a citizen, we smoke in public places”.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №148892
 08.02.2018
I went to the pharmacy today, in front of me buying a man (looking 50 years old, quite strong, a small beard). The following is the dialogue between this man ("M") and the seller ("P"):

Q. Do you have a cough syrup? It would be delicious. (I smile at myself: “daughter or son takes”)

P (with the same guess, smiling) - and how old is the child?

M is forty six.

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