If the zombie apocalypse started and my boss became a zombie, then to kill him, he would have to shoot his ass.

A family celebration, headed by the grandmother’s table, tells the story: “Here, and she had three daughters, Nadia, Luba, Vera.” I get out: "Hope died the last?" Babula even not noticing the joke: "Yes, and the apartment on Mishka signed."

X: Are you playing war again?
Y: So the 9th of May.
X: Something seventh you didn’t play on the radio.

X: I would like to make medical insurance for my sons.
Y: Here’s a wonderful plan... and if you take the Medical Plus supplement to it, it will cover the treatment of the eyes, teeth and even pregnancy.
X: Well, pregnancy is not very relevant to us, though... And the insurance covers third parties?

A boy and a girl sit on the couch.
She: I read here that guys don’t like when girls can’t do anything in bed except to rub a penis... You need to know, for example, where erogenous zones and all that...
He: Yes, I don’t even know where I have them. x )
He said, “Does anyone else know?”? to
He: What, do you want to paint? hddd

Commentary on KMplayer

XXX is something. I watched the Doom movie yesterday. The movie lies and the player is good :)

From the site: It is not about the new generation of Lada Niva, but about the car that will be presented in the city SUV segment.

HGH: Sooner than that! The Romans are attacking me. The elixir!
YYY: What is it?
XXX: I say, I say, the cockroaches are gone.

Now I understand the anecdotes about sisadmines: yet it is a difficult profession to run with the drum around the metalwork so that it still works.

Bite from "bife al-la ruse"
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Do you remember before buses such were - "Ikarus"? Remember how it smelled? The "beef a la ruse" smells the same.
WOW: Ah, with nothing comparable to the aftertaste of the Icarus exhaust.

My girlfriend gave me Ubuntu. He says it himself and on his own initiative. Does this happen, or did you get a friend?

I missed your breath, your heartbeat, your ejaculation.

As they say: the longest sex I had was with two carpets - Windows and Honda )))

I will go meditate.
Do not break the meditator.

RT @nett00n “It’s you there in your Moscow you say "it’s Peter, baby.” We have "this is St. Petersburg, the lady".”

The university forum. On the eve of the session, students must pass tets on the universe server, but the final protocol considers the results to be incorrect. The discussion below:

Jully: Nastia, I will respond as a Combat Comrade to the same Combat Comrade...Take up this small injustice. The nerves are more expensive.

Anastasia: This small injustice grows into a bigger trouble. Of course, Shield Happens, but it is a real problem when you hysterically beat in front of the monitor, and you can do nothing, because the Gods have left us. And when you come to the check-in, the teacher sees the score of 2 on the test and glosses: "Go out! You will find me in the tundra on the field of deer under the constellation of Tucan to the left of the northern light. And you take a drum, a pair of feathers of the northern frog, the dried clove of the frog, and perform a ritual dance. Then the gods will come down to their flock and help you.

And every month on the subject of pregnancy, the fucking mother-in-law asks me...I gave up 1 time, how offensive it was.
Then she said that I love oral sex and my husband is anal)) no longer asks)))

It will be useful to many ;)

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Change the buttons to *I believe* - *I don't believe*!! to

Solveig: Listen, I came to the mind that the student is quite of the word student. amorphous jelly-shaped thing, activated on holidays, if left alone for a long time - flows through a sad loaf.

The Russians go everywhere to add their characters to the local colour... As is known, the father of Russian, and of all world democracy, was the Snake Gorinich, who had three heads and, respectively, three independent branches of power - executive, legislative and judicial. But recent excavations showed that Gorinych had a fourth head, which embodied the power of the people themselves. But somebody snapped her out under the noise.