bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 40 - ]
 07.04.2015
In addition to the story about fainting elderly from 03.04.2015, I also happened in public transport.
It was 1996. I was driving from the district hospital from a scheduled examination with the surgeon home - to the suburbs. A year after the injury “there” and six months after the hospital, I, commissioned by the starley, still walked badly, was forced to go to the hospital, and could not without the shell. In the bus, I managed to find my seat, and I sat, holding a knife between my knees.
At one of the stops, at the speed of integrally-schizoid bees, a very active group of old lady drivers (a suburban bus) broke in, holding in their hands the bonds of garden equipment. From them, a sonder team of leaders of three people took off, looking for free places with the eyes of the thorns. The half-bus was occupied by Pete-Ushniki, flooding with youth and health, who, when old gardeners appeared, were suddenly overwhelmed by a strong dream. Experienced old ladies knew that the pet school students could respond to the demand to give up their seats so that the bus would have to turn to cardiology. Therefore, the choice of the leading group fell on me, looking modest and intelligent (there was still a lesson from part-workers, how the military should behave among the civilians). Gaulier of the old-fashioned roy jumped to me with the expression of the upset berzerk on his face: "You, you don't see that we are old and we barely go, but quickly give up!"
To this I, apologizing, replied that my legs still hurt after the injury, and if they turn to the naughty sleeping PetaUshna youth – it would be fairer. However, the furia, who pursued the leader, cried out: "Yes, you carry the chestnut with you specifically, so that there is no place to give in!"
To these words, I, having presented the certificate of the participant in the fighting, replied that I have a medical card with a documentary confirmation of the injuries, but I am not going to dig into the bag only to satisfy the curiosity of the fainting holidaymakers.
But the grandmothers said, “We didn’t send you there, the fool who is smarter has been cut off. We have grown up your army in the mines, and you, the Darmoods, sit on the neck of the people, hanging your legs and dropping your fingers, disgrace the Motherland, losing the battles, instead of bombarding them all there with rockets, and all.” She believed that in addition to separatists and extremists, there were the most civilians in the Caucasus who did not support militants. In general, she wanted what the Kiev authorities are doing in the DPR and LPR.
I didn’t answer this because I had a coma in my throat and turned to the window. It was too early to relax. 10 minutes later, a ball-shaped, nuclear "red conductor" came to me, all like in a fairy tale: the mouth is brightly soaked, the cheeks red, the teeth golden. In general - blood with milk (heated). She demanded “to fly”, which I used to get and revealed my passport. Following the narrative, I will explain that under this certificate, according to the Constitution of the Russian Federation, I enjoy the RIGHT OF FREE Driving, and not the right of easy travel (charges to carriers are paid by the state or municipality). Here the conductor started to treat me, on the subject of the fact that their car transportation enterprise is no longer a municipality, but privatized by private individuals and now "OOO", their benefits are not valid, because no one will compensate them for these costs.
I replied that I do not have the benefit, but the right to FREE travel in urban and suburban public transport, and since, according to the contract with the municipality, their "LOC" is the only legal carrier on urban and suburban routes, then my right to free travel applies in their buses, regardless of the form of ownership of the enterprise. To convince her, I sent her a copy of this article from the Constitution.
The opponent did not ignore, shouting that the constitution is for state-owned enterprises, not for them - private individuals. With us was a lawyer-pensioner who worked for a long time at the same auto-enterprise when it was still a state. And he confirmed my words to the conductor-representative of the shark car business, explaining that the constitution is for all enterprises, regardless of the form of ownership. But the conductor continued to stand on her own, threatening that the bus would not touch from the spot until I paid or left, and if neither of them - then we will go straight to the police.
I easily agreed to the militia, advising to do it faster, there it is all twisted, and there is probably a constitution. The passengers who rushed into their affairs did not all understand that the reason for the delay in the journey was not me, but an unreasonably stubborn conductor. I did not regret paying, of course, but after her humility and unprincipled arrogance, I was not going to retreat. Several drunk summer boys, rushing clearly out of business, began to threaten me with punishment, tried to squeeze on me (I stepped off with a cradle).
As a result, the bus driver got out of the wheel and helped me to calm the bugs. And the conductor said, "I will always drive guys like this starley for free, regardless of the constitutions, and I will compensate you, fool, from my salary!"
It is a low gift.
Source: http://www.anekdot.ru/an/an1504/o150405.html#9
Eng

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna