I was on a medium-sized bus. Next to me stood a guy of hopeless appearance, his phone ringed. He raises the phone, turns on a loud call and says in a quiet voice:

“Sanya, I’ve broken the speaker, so I’m talking loudly... Let’s go without any matter and excessive information.

From the phone to the bus:

- Hey... People, this is my friend Wenya, he's not given a girlfriend for half a year, so he's a dalbo2.17b...

Three seconds of silence, then a whisper from all sides.