I was missing in the shopping center on the bench, waiting for my wife.

One hand controls a bunch of bags, the other eats ice cream.

Two men sat behind my back, apparently waiting for their wives too, and I heard their conversation without beginning and, unfortunately, without end:

... and when?

In this Saturday. Come sure, Valya will prepare everything - everything, it will be fun.

I don’t promise, Andrew, but I will try very hard. What anniversary do you have?

Oh, let me think... sixteen, exactly sixteen, or even seventeen.

It is FIG. This is deadline. What kind of wedding do you have? The wooden, there or the pebble?

Yes, fuck you know, I’m not about that.

Andrew, how did you meet Wally?

A is a funny story. Did I not tell? Listen to:

I went from work, watched, Valka was crying and something there was fighting with a cell phone. Naturally, I didn’t know that she was Valya, and in general, at first she wasn’t special to me... No love at first sight, absolutely. But crying, let me think, I ask, maybe I need help? I asked.

At that moment, she fought forever with her former goat. There was some. She insulted and in hysteria immediately tried to kill him in her phone, well, the babes had their "myths." She didn’t get a niche. And then I was drawing with her help, and she asked me, say you are a man, should better understand the technique.

I, of course, say, "What your question, madam, a couple of stuff, now we will do everything" took the mobile phone in my hands, and I think, "Where am I going?"

I didn’t have my cell phone at the time, I only dreamed. I never held it in my hands before.

I look and so and so, and in the menu really there is nowhere to "delete contact". I reviewed it all, no. Valya stands, waits, praises me, which is said to be good when a man in the technique thinks. Even crying stopped.

There was no way back, I couldn't say, like - fuck him knows, ask someone else who is better "shocking", and I'm just a phone-free miser.

And the time goes by, I am all sweaty, but I pretend that it is necessary - the task is difficult, more difficult than to connect to the Pentagon. In short, I can’t remove it anyway, but I found the item “edit”, and I wandered – instead of the name of that goat I wrote “Andrei”, and instead of his number, I killed my home, like I wanted.

I give the phone back, she is pleased: “Thank you very much! Has it been removed?”

I say, “Of course, I deleted it, and there is no trace, and at the same time I recorded your phone and your name. In any case.”

She opened her eyes and said, “I need you there!” In what case? I did not ask you to write anything! Now go wash it!”

I was, of course, "shifted" from such greed, I sent her away and added, "Well, I don't like it, then wash yourself, the sheep is stupid!"

He turned and went on...



From the neighboring shop a woman’s voice was heard:

“Andrew, let’s go and see, I found you something!

The men behind my back obediently stood up and forever took away from me the end of this wonderful story of great love.



By the author http://storyofgrubas.livejournal.com/