We read this post and laugh:

All I need to know about my accuracy - today in the forest "hunting" on mushrooms, I wandered away from annoying mosquitoes and struck myself a knife in the face((("

I: it reminds me) from a week ago fell from the big, trying to circumvent an unpredictable aunt, grabbed her with the steering wheel, fell on the grass, broke her brush. She got sick for a few days and stopped. I soon forgot about her.
We went to the beach and played volleyball. So I first turned my finger on the ball to the other side, so that it was swollen and blue, then twice unsuccessfully and painfully hit the sick brush, which, it turns out, did not recover. And then used under the jeep to get the ball that fell under him, and did not notice that behind him was attached a big... In short, starred on the forehead, hit a small clot)
I did not play that day anymore, lying quietly on the blanket away from my sins, anointed with cream from the sunrise. And it doesn’t matter that I’m already a nigger, just a day – full of surprises :) After a failed volleyball I decided to go shopping. I went under a bucket, and I wrapped my hair on it...
The culmination: When I got home (after riding a bicycle 20 km), I took a shower and made a coffee, thinking that everything was behind, I heard a strange sound: “Pshshsh..."
I carefully approach the bicycle, bend and see, with this very sound of pshch, I have eyes, sitting, descending, the front wheel...