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[ + 40 - ]
 14.01.2009
http://www.yaplakal.com/forum6/topic228763.html



A long time ago, when the Earth was still small, mammoths wandered around it.



In short, my father commander, in the rank of colonel, congratulated me on the pursuit.

The senior lieutenant decided to send me at the head of a group of soldiers and

a young praporstnik Vasy to repair one school in a small village on

Mother of Russia. It took a year to repair the school. I have to tell you about Vasa.

and separately. It was the healthiest structure with a height of 2 meters 12.

He weighs more than 150 kilos and is always smiling.

The face of a happy fool. The building had the 47th size of shoes and

Master of Sports of the USSR. If in brief.



Vasey and I took out the room of a pretty vigorous grandmother - "God's Dove",

She also worked as a carpenter on a small local farm. The barracks for

The soldiers were arranged in the same rebuilt school. Ended in the courtyard.

of October. The first frosts came, but Vasya was forever running down the courtyard barefoot and

No cold took him. Despite the fact that Vasa was the same.

Leningrader, like me, the grandmother immediately saw a relative in him.

The village bone. Vasya did not refuse, because the grandmother always tried.

To feed the orphan.



My grandmother had a pig. Neither I nor Vasa, even though we are

I have lived in the village for a month and have never seen this pig.

only his "fifth" in a rubbed low window of straw, in which

This pork was placed. Grandma regularly dragged there in two old ones

In the morning, the waste of our soldiers’ lunches and dinners and the bread she bought.

In the village. We also pulled something out of the patch.



One morning my grandmother knocked on the door:



Don’t you kill me a pig?



– Why not strike, mom... – Vasily replied gradually. – A

Will there be meat?



- Will, Vasenko, will, you have blood gathered, a little bit on the pitch.

I will put them out, then I will make the sausages out of them, I will cut the head with a toporik,

Go to the basement, to the ice. Not for the first time, not for the first time.

Vasenko... And do not forget to burn, the soldering lamp is in the sandwich...



When the words "blood", "short" Vasya frightened and convulsively whistled

He shrugged his head. The grandmother viewed this gesture as a sign of consent and

I put it on the morning breast. I am pleased (in the right of commander)

He appointed Vasily as commander of this autodaph.



What will we do, Dimon? Getting his bare legs apart.

I asked Vasily. Have you ever killed a pig? No is? I too

Did you read in the books? Did not read? I didn’t read them either, but how? with a tail,

Need a knife or a knife? Fuck, and you won’t ask anyone, all the warriors.

Muslims and pigs have never been slaughtered, so they came to her.

Even if it doesn’t fit... Will we do Hule, Commander? Can you kill a pig?

If anything, I will help!



“Huiechki-miulechki, Vasenko... In this difficult job, I appointed a commander.

and you. I can give you advice: with your silky-dubinushka I'd just do it.

Snoop him, fuck him once with your fist in the small spacing of your eyes.

He squeezes at the moment. It is possible that he and your

Good shit, let’s go and look at the pig.



And we went to the chicken. The spectacle was terrible. Small in the dark.

In our eyes, the evil looked at us in the shape of a monster. Immediately remembered

The school textbook entitled “The monster is big, big, big and big.”

The myth of Minotaur.



“Hey, Dimon, he’s twice as big as me! He enchanted Vasya.

Everything that moved and the dimensions did not give way to Vasa, Vasily on

Genetic level is respected. There are two hundred kilograms! Fuck... let’s

Even if we drive him out on the street... Here he will make us both with you, as we do.

God of the Turtle.



In the bright morning light the pig seemed even more to me. The pig

He snorted, squeezed and shrugged toward a clothed fence, closer to the

There is still green grass. He did not know about the upcoming murder. He even

He did not suspect that a 24-year-old bloodthirsty murderer was standing next to him.

by Rod. The sun shone in the crystalline sky to the south.

The cockroach pulled the clone.



I will tell you honestly. In school, we were not only taught how to build. We were also taught

to fight. Each of us was ready to fight against the enemy. We even

I took an oath. But no one warned us that we had to fight.

against the pig. Maybe I could take it out of the AKM, I could even

Clogged with a knife. What to do like this, I think.

A simple, even domestic situation? Meanwhile, Vassilius came out of the barracks.

Lamp and shade.



Are you so upset, Vasily? Did you get his coarse wheel? Mining and

Firefighter, a militia of 1812, fucking...



Are you criticizing, Commander? If you criticize, then offer...



I was wisely silent. There were no proposals. The pig cuddled in the shells. Vasya

He tossed the earth-mother with bare heels.



That is what, Vasily. We live in the 20th century, not in caves.

Scientific and electrical. A pig in a pork, near a pork.

we make a slice with salt, increase the conductivity, so to speak, take from the warehouse

"Two hundred" nail, we attach it to a wooden slice. One end

the nail will be the peak, we will make the electrical cable to the hat, the wire to the second

End of the Rosetta phase. Everything is understandable? Study as long as I am.

The engineer! In short, fucking a pig, drag a nail and a wire, and I am still a puddle and

I will do salt.



Vasya looked at me enthusiastically, being amazed by the breadth of engineering.

and genius.



Having fulfilled the agreement, I poured the pig into a pit soaked in warm water.

The Bread. The pig flew to the pit and began to eat his last.

The Dinner. Vasya’s overweight with the “electrodrin” was beautiful, as Peresvet

against the chest. Approaching, Vasily from scope planted the "electropic"

A pig in a bowl.



U-I-I-I-I-I!!! A wild whistle spread over the whole village, and crumbled, crumbling.

Everyone on their way went to cut circles in the spacious courtyard.



You are a fool, Vasily... in the bowl! It is not 2 centimeters! by V

In the stomach, in the stomach, or in the side he had to beat! Did you study physics?

It is an isolator! Give it new.



The pig “new” categorically did not want. In the corner of the yard, he

He looked at me and yours. But hunger is not aunt.

The bread scattered in the bowl smelled, and the pig lost his vigilance.

Stir to the feed. Vasya took the starting position, covering himself with the left.

with his hand the door of the sarai, and the right pressing "electric drone" like a spy.



— Chingchuk, fucking... — I smiled. All of you, Winnie-Puchovsky Root,

Fuck you came.



At the moment, Pizzetz in the image of Vasily with all the dust slapped a pig in the

The underlying.



W-Y-Y-Y-Y and W-Y-Y!!! The pig went to cut the circles again...Nothing of it.

and bravo. “It’s not summer, I thought. They would have come up now,

Their grandchildren and grandchildren started. It is so quiet, the village is deserted.”



Vasya snubbed, splintered and went to the cellar for cigarettes.



and Dimon! by Dimon! You look, you look! The wire from the roof has fallen! must

just fix it with an insulator, and everything will be up to date, as it was taught in school!

Now we’re mocking him like two fingers!



The slaughter of the pig began to resemble a farce. Bread prepared for

The murder was over, the day was approaching noon, soon it was

Back from Grandma’s Farm. The CETNOT. Time is money. The case required

The acceleration. The whole picture was ruined by a pig. He wanted to eat, even booze.

approached the feeder, but, seeing Vasy's approach with the electrodrin,

He fled to a remote corner of the courtyard where there was no electricity.

The situation became threatening. The account went for minutes.



I’ll take him trick now. I’ll pretend I’m passing by.

And I will throw myself on him, I will doubt for a couple of seconds, and you will shake him!



Driven by the hunting charm, I immediately agreed. Vassula, by Vassula

“Sherbursky umbrellas” moved toward the pork. A pig alone.

His eyes were on the other side, and his eyes on the other side. Vassula has walked

He escaped from the courtyard. I was stunned, and the pig was attacked.

of benevolence. Suddenly out of the fence appeared a red patch of Vasily.

Vasily showed me with his eyes and gestures that he would now move through.

The wall, the pig underneath itself. I only have to put a pig.

220, and the case in the hat. I shrugged Basil’s head.

and Agha. The Special Forces, Yopta



With a powerful leap Vasya swallowed through the fence, melted a pig under himself, and,

He lifted him up over his back legs over the ground.



The smoke, be! Vasily stood in the middle of a saltwater. and what

and I? I am a military man. Orders are orders. I hit it.



W-Y-Y-YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY Y-Y-Y and Y-Y!! W-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I!!!! to



The pig, rushing to the ground, climbed to the covered door leading to the straw and

He began to rush on her in a dog-like way, seeking rescue from two half-fools there.

in military uniform.



Vasya, whitened and closed his eyes, fell to the ground without moving. Finite LA

Comedy... I thought feverishly.



Electricity at 220, salt hose, naked heels. Current through pig, Vasily, heels

went to earth. I killed a man. I killed my subordinate.

That is all. This is the end. This is the court, the court, the deprivation of the officer's rank,

The prison...



Suddenly Vasya shrugged... Slowly got up, looked around. scriptured

The barracks. Grandma is back. The pig threw to her like a devout.

He hid, as much as he could, for a futile figure.



What, guys, have you done?



I was training, I was training. Tomorrow, all tomorrow...



The pigs will be killed tomorrow. 1 litre of sameon. The tractorist

From the neighbor’s house and struck.



And Vasya brought me a signature report in the spring.



Here is Commander. I decided to study. Sign a report on training.

I went to the Pushkin Agricultural Academy. by

of livestock. Please sign up, right?



Learn, Basil, it will always be useful! I said and signed:

I apologize to the superior executive on the substance of this

The report.”



and signed. I signed without looking. Without looking in the honest blue eyes of Vasena.
Source: http://www.anekdot.ru/an/an0901/o090113;1.html
Eng

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