Listen to me, people. I swapped you on the exchange of 50- and 100-ruble bills, stole deposits at Sberbank, broke up to bankruptcy at the GCO in 1998, flooded the debts of oligarchs with budget money into crises, scattered oil trillions, joked “No money for you, and good mood for you!” Now I, my native state, want to offer you a no less tempting opportunity – and you can buy federal bonds.