I read the story about lice and remembered a funny case on a similar topic. Soon I dropped it as a comment, and it was immediately responded by several people who offered me to rework this story and send it to the main, let someone else laugh. I fulfill your wishes, read for health.
One day a friend calls me and complains, he is said to have been rewarded in a business trip by some shabold with whiskers, as a result of which he has been itching for three days, without removing his hands from the pockets of his pants. He doesn’t really want to go to the skin dishwasher, because he is, although small, but the boss, and let no god see him there someone of his subordinates. He says:
- You have a classmate there working, talk to him, maybe he will take me home?
I called my classmate, mycologist. A classmate, a very kind man, says funnyly:
No problem, come here now.
We come. In the courtyard summer, a weekend, the doctor and his brother sit on the veranda of the house, playing cards under a cognac with a lemon. Presents a friend:
“Here is he who has suffered from love, help him, Comrade Hippocrates.
It is, he says, very easy.
He took the patient into the summer shower, looked, went out, laughed:
Not shit, it’s shit at all. You can, of course, prescribe you ointment or shampoo from parasites, but then you will have to first run through the pharmacies until you find it, then spend it, then a few days to apply it all, and also shave it all naked there. And then you will scratch for another month until it grows. We will do differently. The method is proven, although if I applied it in my department, I could easily be expelled from work. So decide yourself.
A friend agrees, he is petty, only to stop itching soon in an intimate place. Then the doctor takes the scissors and a large plastic bag (on which, as I for some reason remembered, was depicted a seductive female pop in jeans), cuts out of this pack some parody on the cowards, only with a small hole in front. He gives these improvised cowards to the sufferer and says:
- Go to the shower, take a day, put this structure first on the naked body, on it from above the cowards, dress up and come. The most important thing is not to forget to push the pitch into this hole, or the drug is toxic, irritation on the head is guaranteed.
Then he cuts off a piece from the roll of the lipstick, cuts it out with a circle and gives it to a friend.
Why is this yet?
“And that,” he says, “to you to stick a point. You only have to endure for half an hour, not shoot.
My brother and I sit down. Of course we have fun, not on our own cocks crawl these cute six-legged crabs.
The friend went, did everything as the doctor said, returns. The doctor stands up, takes a bottle of the most usual dichlophos, amusedly pulls his trial person in front of his pants and squeaks him a couple of times straight into his pants. Then open it and repeat the same procedure on the back side. A friend in the face of misunderstanding and even somewhere distrust, but is patient, once it has come. Everyone, except him, is happy and excited.
"All," says the doctor, "now take half an hour, and while you sit down with us, we will drink a drink and we will have time to break over.
I watched my clock anxiously for half an hour.
Half an hour has passed, what can I do next?
The squirrel stands up and solemnly says:
“And now the most important part of our treatment is just beginning, and everything needs to be done exactly as I’m going to show you.
He stands up, places his legs wider on his shoulders, while also bending them in his knees, and throws the body back as far as possible so as not to fall. Standing in such a completely ridiculous posture, he clamps himself with both palms along the area of the forehead, and without even leading his eyebrows, in full seriousness gives out:
- You get exactly as I showed, and without changing your posture, you knock yourself on the eggs exactly thirty times, neither more nor less. Most importantly, don’t get rid of the account.
The friend, already completely without understanding anything, obediently takes the given posture, and almost turning back, begins to knock in good faith, as shown to him, while also counting out loud. The doctor looks at him with a serious look and sometimes makes remarks, such as "the shoulder should be back steeper", or "the shoulder should be slimmer, with a stretch off", and such nonsense. We, the spectators, naturally rush, holding onto the stomach.
From all this description of me, somebody might think that my friend is just a half-fool. In fact, he graduated from the prestigious (and one of the most difficult) capital universities with a red diploma. I don't know, maybe this unexpected trouble affected him so much, drowned for a while. Or maybe just the person deliberately turned off his brains and decided for himself: the doctor knows what he says, and my business is stupid to obey.
When he finally honoured all thirty times, the doctor announced:
Congratulations, the treatment is over. Now hold the towel and immediately run into the shower to wash the dichlofos. Therapeutic trousers in the garbage bowl, eggs and ass wash properly with soap. For now, we’re going to get into the cards.
When a friend got out of his soul and joined us, he couldn’t believe that everything turned out to be so incredibly simple and ended so quickly. Is he now a normal person again and he doesn’t have to keep his hands in his pockets all the time, and then scratching his mouth? After a little bit of feeling, he finally asked:
I can’t catch it, but why should I knock? Why this position and why exactly thirty times? Oh I guessed! Let these dead creatures fall into cowards.
In fact, you would have washed well in the shower. Don’t get offended, you just want to crack.

By the way, the method proved effective, a friend later said that the ugly insects disappeared immediately and forever.